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2011 Shows

 
(Original Air Date: 10/21/10) Every 15 seconds in America, a woman is abused, and it is the most under-reported phenomena in our society. Dr. Phil continues his mission to end the silence on domestic violence! First, he speaks with Mallory, a pregnant 19-year-old, who says her boyfriend, Brett, is abusive. Even though she says he pushes her around, has threatened her life and locked her in a closet, she refuses to end the relationship. Brett admits he has anger issues, and he says he loves Mallory, but sometimes he can’t stand her. Is there hope for this teen couple? And, Lori fears her 18-year-old daughter, Kelsi, is still involved with her abusive ex-boyfriend. Kelsi admits she’s torn between her feelings for her ex and following her family’s wishes. When these teens get a wake-up call from a mother whose daughter was murdered, will it change their behavior? Teens, do you know the warning signs of abuse and how to exit a dangerous relationship safely? Parents, do you know what to look for if you think your daughter is in a violent relationship? Don’t miss this important show! Make some noise -- join Dr. Phil’s campaign and pledge to end the silence on domestic violence!

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: twodox on Jul 9, 2011, 8:59AM - In reply to jesstn08
I am really saddened by your letter.  Your pain is so very obvious.  I do hope that others reading this very well documented tale of abuse and its quite often results will give courage to others in the same setting to avail themselves of whatever avenue of escape is available to them.  I do wish that instead of spending time teaching about oral sex methods to satisfy your teen lover or the proper way to apply a condom in our schools the negativity of abusive relationships would be explored and discussed.  It starts at a very young age, with women believing they are not worthwhile without a man.   What should be advised is the need for a good education and a very sound way to support ones self without an man to do so.  If women would use their own abilities and wait until they were secure within themselves and not have children without a sound support system by the sperm donor  rather than just becoming an incubator dependent on an abusive sperm donor, this may decrease.  I do believe men may impregnate to make the woman less able to leave an abusive relationship.  If they are devious enough to beat a defenseless woman I doubt there is anything they will not try to satisfy their need to dominate.   Again my condolences to you on the loss of your mom and all of the wonderful times you have missed thanks to the perversion of the man she chose to be her life partner.  He was indeed a coward.  He took the coward's way out.  I hope you are able to find peace and enjoy a good life.  God Bless You.
 
Replied By: twodox on Jul 9, 2011, 8:50AM
Because most of the teens of today have no parentsm, only sperm donors and incubators, they have not had the opportunity to learn the meaning of a loving relationship in a family setting but as human beings tit is normal to desire this wonderfully comforting scenario.  Add to this deficiency the negative messages sent by the media which is obviously catering to the fringe elements, teens are buying the message that seeking "love" in any form is the way to go and the males of this society, equally influenced by the debauchery quite often seen in their homes, believe their main goal is to add "knotches of their belts" consisting of how many female orifices they visit per day.  As long as schools fail to teach the negativity of these actions and Hollywood glorifies all acts of debauchery, including mauling, raping and beating, even leading to long lasting injuries or death, this will continue.  I do wish at least young women with a functioning brain not altered by mind killing drugs or funny little cigarettes  would realize they need not cater to these  males.  If men are what you need, get a MAN, not an irrational little boy with all too frequent twitches of his male appendage.  If you devalue yourselves enough to cater to all of these immature male appendages, you are doing yourselves a grave injustice.  Your chances for ever getting a decent life style with other than abusive males is markedly decreased.  Remeber, if you do not agree to these acts they must find someone other than you to beat on.   I do not know why anyone cannot walk away from abusive settings, especially at such a young age.  I know there are many adult women, many dependent on these heinous creatures for financial support.  I can see how it must be very hard for them to walk away but I really do not understand this scenario in young girls.  What can these evil men offer you.  Surely if you need sexual gratification at that level you are in deep trouble.  Having sex does not equal having love and before you can recognize love you must love yourself and that means no becoming a punching bag for anyone.
 
Replied By: georginasmith on Jun 24, 2011, 1:03AM
I'm now 51 years old and believe that after years of abuse mentally and physical that personally from my experience getting out of the situation is the second step.you need to find a source that will help you come up with a plan that will help in knowing that under no circumstanaces that she will be left physical or mentally through this adjustment .The hardest part  is the mental recovery because YOU DON'T EXIST YOUR ABUSER DOES through your thinking and feeling and without warning you loose yourself and you you only exist through your abuser.                                                                                                                                                                                                   sincerely Georgina
 
Replied By: jesstn08 on Jun 17, 2011, 12:16PM
I'm going to share my story with everyone. My mom was murdered by my stepdad, Mike, when I was 9 years old. I have 3 brothers. My 2 older brothers and I are not Mike's children, however, my younger brother is. My stepdad began abusing my mom shortly after their relationship began. He was 15 years older than my mom and thought that because of that, he could control and manipulate her. The abuse got so bad that my mom sent my older brothers to live with my grandparents so that they would not have to be around it or be abused. My mom finally got away from him and had me. Shortly after I was born, Mike began calling my mom and threatening to commit suicide if she didn't go back to him. My mom had a big heart and didn't want him to hurt himself, so she went back. The abuse continued, but not as frequently. A year and a half after I was born, my younger was born. My younger brother and I lived with my mom and stepdad while my older brothers continued to live with my grandparents. My younger brother and I grew up knowing that if Mike got mad, he acted crazy and became violent. However, we never saw Mike physically touch my mom, we heard the emotional abuse and saw the violence as he would punch doors and kick cars and throw and break whatever was around him. My mom would try to leave, but he would always do something to prevent it. He would cheat on my mom and he considered it ok, but for my mom to leave him because of it and the abuse was unacceptable. A few months before my mom was killed, Mike started turning his abuse towards my brother and I. My mom finally left him in March of 1999 and was killed in July 1999. After she left him, he stalked her constantly and even rode with his friends that were police officers to stalk my mom. When my mom would make a police report, it was never submitted because the police were his friends. July 7, 1999, Mike told my mom that he had a brain tumor and had to have it removed the following day. He asked her to spend the night with him so they could talk and to take him to the hospital the next day. My mom agreed and it cost her her life. I talked to my mom around 10 pm that night and he was yelling in the background. After she got off the phone, his temper escalated and he began hitting her. She tried to fight back, but he shattered her knee caps so that she could not walk and when that happened, she was in and out of consiousness. After this, he took a gun and shot her in the back of the head. She was killed between 1 and 2 am and he cleaned up the blood, had his brother and sons over to move stuff in and out of the house, and drank some coffee. He called his police friend at 6 am and told him that he had just killed his wife and was going to kill himself. Mike waited until he heard the sirens come around the corner and went outside and shot himself. The police went to him before they went to my mom and sent him to the hospital, where he had surgery and was going to live. A blood clot got to his brain before the doctors could catch it and he died. We have had problems with Mike's sons and family since that day. They have stalked us, written on our windows, vandalized my mom's grave, etc. I'm sharing my story with all of you because I don't want this to happen again. If you are being abused, LEAVE! It will not get better. He or she may say they're sorry and they'll never do it again..DON'T GO BACK! They will do it again! Growing up without a mom has been the hardest thing and it bothers me everyday. It's not fair that she didn't get to see us grow up, get married, and have kids. It's not fair that we can't call her and say, "hey mom, what are you doing today?" Please don't put yourself or your kids and family through something like this. It will never get better. It will only get worse until you end up like my mom.
 
Replied By: nadiapretty on Jun 15, 2011, 1:34PM
I keep thinking about Mallory and what she is enduring.  I have been with my husband for 21 yrs and have endured his accusations since the beginning.  I don't have my own life it is controlled by him.  I feel bad for Mallory because she shouldn't put up with that.  I did try to leave for 6 months but missed him terribly.  I came back and nothing has changed.  Mallory needs to think of her baby.  For me it's to late the damage is done to my children.  I see it and take full responsibility.  Sad part is now I have a granddaughter and she is seeing it also.  One day I  took her shopping and my husband said, " You make sure grandma doesn't check out any guys."  I am called names several times a day, but as I get older I give it back to him.  I have changed as a person.  If there is one thing I could say to Mallory is I know it is hard to let go, but do you want to be living like you are 21 years from now.
 
Replied By: thiscantbereal on Jun 14, 2011, 9:12PM - In reply to pmat48
This problem of teen relationship abuse didn't just come into existence on Monday, June 13, 2011. Dr. Phil has had many shows on the subject. I can't believe we as a civilized, intelligent society can't figure this out. In all parental generations have we not yet, and when will we, understand that respect for one's self is taught at home by one's parents, along with all the other fundmental traits we want our children to have such as kindness, respect for others, helpfulness, responsibility, and on and on. I truly believe that its time we start parenting our children and teaching them basic manners, first of all, social skills, and how to respect others. When they begin to see themselves as valuable human beings, reflecting the respect they show and recieve, only then will they completely value themselves and this cycle will end. My issue with the show was that these people were being coddled, in my opinion, and parents need to take responsibility. Its time we take ownership of whatever is not "right" with our world. To paraphrase what Dr. Phil says so often, you can't change if you don't acknowledge what's wrong.
 
Replied By: keyeshook7362 on Jun 14, 2011, 9:55AM
Please,whenever you do a show on domestic violence, at least mention that there are men who are both physically and emotionally abused. Men are the forgotten minority!!!  Also spend a little more time on what emotional abuse is.  I am the mother of two adult sons who are now divorced.  One of them was in a relationship loaded with emotional abuse, but he couldn't see it. He does, now that he is out of the situation. The other was married to a woman who physically abused him.  Luckily, for our son, she met someone else and wanted out of the marriage and filed for divorce.  She wasn't willing to give up control of our son, so the divorce took 2 years and an actual trial which resulted in her being sent to another anger management course and our son becoming primary custodian of their children.  She is currently on 3 years probation for Domestic Violence to her second partner, and he has a county ordered protection order from her, which he tried to get reversed, but couldn't.  The court also ordered her to attend a 36 week Domestic Violence Course.  She had previously taken a short Anger Management course, mandated by Child Protective Services, and it did her no good. 
 
Replied By: twodox on Jun 14, 2011, 7:53AM - In reply to angelad1982
i feel so sad for what you have experienced. I do hope things are better for you and your family Whenever I read these messages I repeat  "there but for the grace of God go I".  Although I was financially independent I felt  the need to connect with a male.  I met an equally educated male whom I thought would make a wonderful partner.  Wrong.  In public, on one occasion,  he became enraged for reasons I still cannot really understand and for a moment I thought I was not long for this world.  This was in public and I guess he thought better as he took off and disappeared for several days.  I cannot begin to describe the fear I felt for that short time.  Luckily I had no further interaction with him and now I am happily married to a man who like Dr Phil suggests, awakens daily and thinks of what he can do to make my life better.  Fortunately I have the same mindset.   We both try to make each other's life as comfortable as possible.  The good ones are out there.  We really do not have to hook up with the losers.  If only young women would place a greater value on themselves than having to supply temporary fun for the losers masquerading as men.  The term male is sufficient.  It takes more than a functioning reproductive organ to make a man and vice versa for women.   I wish today's young women would value themselves beyond  being a recepticle for some jerk who needs to feel like a "man".   Used and abused are the terms they should use to describe their place in life.  By tolerating the physical and mental abuse we devalue our self worth beyond recognition and really buy into the prattle set forth by the Hollywood crew and the leftist media.
 
Replied By: twodox on Jun 14, 2011, 7:38AM
My heart went out to all of the folks living in an abusive relationship.  Unfortunately this will not ever be controlled until we return to the values of the past.  Today women especially but men also have little self worth.  Bullies abound.  The mantra is " if I cannot earn respect I will take it and since might is right, bully is the leader".  Young women have bought the movie mantra that without a loser to hang on to , you are worthless.  Better you strenthen yourself, make yourself whole and then decide who is "good enough for you" rather than believing if you do not do what the jerk wants you are not good enough for him.  Men are taught by mom and dad.  Since today the buzz words are sperm donor or incubator or both, who will teach what they do not know for themselves?  Thanks to Hollywood and the preverted media whose goals are destruction of the family as we once knew it we are on a slippery slide to destruction.  Sex and violence are what sells and the mindrobbed robots living today have really bought it.  If one does not march to the loudly banging drums one is considered a geek.  Long live the GEEKS.  They do what is right for themselves, educate, if possible in this corrupt school system thanks to the union run schools.  Once they are whole, they seek someone equally as whole.  Good luck today.  We have skanky girls who spread and breed and so called males who are so very ready to breed without responsibility.  I weep for the future.  The young folks have no idea they are becoming members of Barack Obama's slaves.  Live on government subsidies, reproduce indescriminately and get more government checks. spread for anyone who desires and die of venereal disease and other disorders spread by your loser life style.   In the wings, I hope, there are some who still believe right is might and follow a healthy life style, despite the ridicule by their compadres who in reality fear them as they are the future leaders.    Hey Skanks and Breeders.  You who rule by violence are the real losers.  Your weakened brains cannot even begin to fathom the destruction you are reeking and so you just continue.  Just what the messiahBO wants,  Depend on subsidies., beat up those you cannot control.  Bullies rule, if you let them.
 
Replied By: luvhisarms on Jun 13, 2011, 7:23PM - In reply to two4two
I was in an abusive relationship for 0ver 16yrs was with him 18yrs. It was always my fault too. I got what they call stock holmes symdrome. Now I am free for the first time truly free. I now have a voice and I am using it to help those still stuck. ((((hugs to you)))) glad you are still here.
 
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