2010 Shows

 
(Original Air Date: 10/18/10) Imagine someone telling you what to do 24 hours a day, seven days a week, controlling and criticizing every move you make. Dr. Phil’s guests say they know that feeling all too well. Cindy says her husband, Mike, controls everything she does, from what she eats, to when she prays, to how fast she walks. Mike says he doesn’t dominate his wife; he just cares about her well-being. Cindy admits their marriage has gotten so bad, she drinks alcohol to cope. Find out what happened three years ago that may have contributed to Mike’s behavior. Then, Daniel says his wife, Jenni, constantly nags and criticizes him about every chore he does, calls him names and emasculates him. He says he locks himself in the garage to get away from her! Jenni admits she likes to be the boss of her household and stalks her husband around the house to do it. What’s behind her critical spirit? Dr. Phil puts these controllers to the test!

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: mcoelho on Apr 21, 2014, 5:57PM - In reply to unfundedhunter
Okay so she wanted a lot of animals, I don't know what she was making up for that was obviously missing. What actually stands out the most for me are the quotes from the bible. That seems like a lot of hate for women.. what does it say about abusive husbands? Leave, or shut up and take it? It always makes me curious when one of the two people that divorce come up with bible quotes. It makes me think I know why they aren't together any more. I hope you are happy and wish you all the best. I also hope she is happier and wish her all the best.
 
Replied By: mcoelho on Apr 21, 2014, 5:45PM - In reply to escapeinprogrs
Get a gardian et litum through the court. Get them in to therapy as soon as you can. Good luck and God bless.
 
Replied By: mcoelho on Apr 21, 2014, 5:41PM - In reply to cshultz18
I am so sorry. You are making the right decision for you. Remember one thing.  What would you say to your best friend?  Then the next thing you should think who knows me best, the good, bad, beautiful, and ugly. You, so tell your best friend what you think is the best thing for her - you.
 
Replied By: freemell on May 14, 2011, 5:51AM
I guess human nature is the same all over the world. Saw this show last week (Months later since I'm from the Netherlands) and decided to look it up. I've been divorced for three years now after a 16 year relationship with my ex husband. Never really understood what was wrong in our relationship but it made me unhappy to the point of depression. Slowly I'm starting to realise how he tried to control our lives by manipulation.

I'm a strong woman and will not stand to be disrespected. Early in our relationship he raised his fist at me and I dared him. Hit me once and you'll never see me again! Also ordering me around had an opposite effect and made me angry for a change. Still through the years he managed to get me to do things his way or he would be angry, or upset or whatever worked to get me to cave. Only at the end of our relationship (he started to lose control over me) is when his anger would get to the point of him smashing things to pieces. I would tell him that he needed help with that behaviour and that pissed him off even more LOL.

He always did things for me to make me happy but I now see he only did things for me so that he could throw it in my face during an argument: "I do everything for you, and this is how you repay me?" is what he would say. 

Anyways, this show made me realise some things and reading how many people have this sort of relationship with their spouse makes me less angry with myself for letting it happen. I need to find closure because we have a son together and untill he is older to make his own choices, I need to remain friendly with my ex. Otherwise he will manipulate our son and that scares me. He still feels sorry for himself and blames me for everything. Once I heard him say to our 4 year old son: You won't leave me like mommy did, right? I told him he cannot lay that burdon on our son! I think he was taught this behavior by his controlling/manipulative mother. I hope I can set a good example for my son with my new relationship so that he learns how to truly love someone and not treat people like assets.
 
Replied By: cshultz18 on Dec 31, 2010, 2:53AM
I have been with my husband 16yrs and married 11 of them.I have been accused of so many things,too many to list. I never thought of him as being controlling until I seen your show.Through the years I have felt fear,manipulated,treated like a child,spied on in my own home,video taped undressing when I didn't know,and the list goes on. I'm constantly worrying about what I say and do,where I go and how long. I also know that I allowed it to go on,by not doing anything.I have told him how I feel,but it just gets turned around to me and it's my fault. I'm tired of walking on eggshells everyday depending on his mood.He says I'm never in a good mood,but when I am,he doesn't hesitate on bringing me down so he feels better.So why would I want to be in a good mood?I need my life back and to get that ,I need a divorce.I have lost all respect for someone who acts like that and treats me in that manner,so I am taking my life back,for me and my kids.Wish me luck!
 
Replied By: escapeinprogrs on Dec 30, 2010, 6:16AM
I've gone through 2 years of hell having left everything I've worked for my entire adult life to protect my children. I've learned that everyone is a liar in family court (even if you are telling the truth), children are assets to the court, it takes hard core evidence to prove abuse, I should have called the cops even though they would have left me there alone to deal with him...I should have called because NONE OF IT EXISTED.  People...if you are in an abusive relationship...GET HELP.  You are not alone, you do not have to do this alone like I did.  My kids are paying the price for my weakness and inability to stand up to the fear of losing my life or the lives of my children.  Climb over the fear and be strong...otherwise, you are as guilty of endangering them as your abuser is.  CALL THE POLICE.  Stop trying to protect your abuser.  Don't blame yourself for anything but enabling their behavior...own it and stop it.  Did I mention that you should call the police?  Yes, it will make him mad.  Yes, they will leave and you will be alone to deal with him, but they will KNOW and it will be documented.  Otherwise....clean slate and you have to start from scratch to prove what has happened to you and your kids.  Okay...I'm babbling.  Get help.  Find local resources.  Call the police.  Don't be afraid. 
 
Replied By: lcourtney on Dec 29, 2010, 9:06PM
I felt like Cindy was being browbeaten until Dr. Phil got to the bookcase test.  When I watched their relationship interaction I was amazed.  Cindy said TWICE that she had NEVER SEEN a bookcase.  She was fluttering around like a helpless child and of course her husband would be drawn into making decisions and taking charge.
if Cindy wants to be treated differently she needs to tell her husband what she can do and then do it...quit making him want to "save" her from her situation by acting helpless then resenting him for stepping in.
I think this is a great example of Dr. Phil's belief that we teach people how to treat us.  I suspect every marriage Cindy was in had the same problem.
 
Replied By: sshawnbl007 on Dec 28, 2010, 8:40PM
I just watched Monday's Show 12/27/10 The first couple Mike& Cindy. I Feel bad for her Mike need's to change his way's and stop treating Cindy like a dog.  Or Cindy need's to kick him to the Curb.  The second couple on the show reminds me of my Dad and his Wife. She tells my dad what to do all the time. My Dad does just about everything Cooking,Cleaning and Washing.  U name it he does it 
 
Replied By: trtaylor on Dec 28, 2010, 3:54PM
Though my husband is a loving man, hard working, frugal (like me), and a wonderful father, he has turned me into one of the children. He loved my personal strength and self-sufficiency when we first met (on the job in the military).  Unfortunately, five minutes after we married, he wanted to change me to be just like him.  Our basic values and attitudes toward money have always been compatible, but I like to be sociable and party and he doesn't.  He looks down on anyone who drinks or smokes (in whatever amounts), and as I have done both, he is only happy with me when I'm doing neither.  He has to have the last word on how we spend both our money and our time and now that I'm retired from the military (he's been retired over 15 years) he only wants me to be at home waiting him for him to be available to spend time with him.  I'm discouraged from working outside the home or doing anything that takes me away from him and when I say discouraged, I really mean not allowed.  We've been married nearly twenty years and I love him dearly, but I wish there was some way to get him to see things in shades of gray instead of black and white.
 
Replied By: unfundedhunter on Dec 28, 2010, 2:15PM
This story reminds me of my second wife, she had a [problem with her love for animals, she had two daughters when we got married in 1988, ages 1 and 6. I had two children a son 12 and a daughter 9. Everything was so good till one day she wanted a horse, and then another and another, then dogs and cats, pot belly pigs, etc. etc. she would leave these notes taped to the frig. telling the things she wanted the children to do and things for me to do as well, she was always on a horse ride or something. then after 10 years I had got to the point of no return with her no matter how I loved her things were to much. Working my job and spending hours upon hours in the hay fields, of mending fences. I made a mistake and read in the bible it is better to live on a roof than with a hateful nagging woman, and in another bible it said in the same verse in is better to live in the wilderness a;one that in a home with a hateful demanding wife. to this day I do not regret my decision of divorcing her but I still think of her after 11 years. But the 28 hores 10 dogs, 20 cats, 6 pot belly pigs, love birds, etc are not missed, last time I talked to her she was going through her third husband in the last 8 years, now she has 69 horses and god knows how many other animals.
 
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