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2010 Shows

 
In an emotional one-on-one with Dr. Phil, Marty breaks down in tears as he discusses his two daughters, 22-year-old Alexandra and 19-year-old Katherine. Find out his thoughts about Alex and Tony’s relationship, and his feelings about bonding with his third grandchild. What does Marty say is his biggest fear? And, Marty makes an offer to Alexandra – if she leaves Tony! Then, hear Dr. Phil’s warning for the father, and get his insight on what he believes Alexandra should be doing right now. And, Marty and his wife, Erin, currently have custody of their 6-year-old grandson, Nathan, and 2-year-old granddaughter, Leilah. Are they raising their grandchildren differently than they raised their two daughters? Plus, a frightened Alex called Dr. Phil producers on her way to the hospital. Find out what caused her trip to the E.R. Get caught up with this family.

Find out what happened on the show.

"Marty is the kind of man who likes to get things fixed — quickly — and move on. He has been working very hard to listen, understand and influence Alexandra and Katherine." Read more of Erin's candid thoughts on her blog.
Comments
Replied By: marietoon on May 26, 2010, 12:33PM
I'll admit that I didn't get the face lift deal but that is besides the point of this whole exercise.
The point started out to be Katherine's downward spiral. The legalities of that were dealt with and she met all the court's requirements, unless she screws up again and  then the prosecutor may revisit the charges.
She has apparently stayed in school and is working.
Her manners and lack of gratitude are objectionable. But she is at least trying while still living in the tumultuous environment of Alex's horrendous life choices and what has been Erin's biting tongue.
Alex is a life time of therapy that needs to happen. She had a child she probably never bonded with in a maternal way, therefore she had no parenting skills when she had Leilah, who is only two. And she just compounds everything with all these crazy life choices, and the law suits and courts and "classes" that have resulted from those choices.
Alex has got to learn to say thank you and show appreciation for how she has turned her parent's lives upside down.

Erin and Marty I gotta give them credit for stepping up, because if their state doesn't have good grandparents laws if they step away they may never see any of the kids. Sadly, I imagine they are anticipating another round of courts with the new baby. All the kids are lucky to have them watching over them.

And I gotta say from reading Erin's blogs, she is trying to retrain her sniping tongue, and that should go a long way in helping to get things on an even keel.  Maybe some dialogue will happen between all of them soon.

So, good luck to Erin and Marty and I hope you enjoy the vacation!





 
Replied By: retiredgramma on May 26, 2010, 12:09PM
Replied By: jennybrighteye on May 26, 2010, 11:07AM canadianna wrote:

I disagree that sexual promiscuity, illegitimate births, child neglect and child abandonment are actions worthy of either encouragement or support.
Canadianna:  Oh good!  We're getting somewhere!   Where have you read that any one supports these actions?  Loving the person who makes poor choices, is very different than embracing the actions.


Why do you think when Erin does this she is viciously insulted and attacked?  I was just wondering.
Canadianna: when Erin does what?  Never mind, Erin needs to be on the receiving end, as well as the forgiving end, with the same unconditional love .
Many, many bloggers have posted with positive thoughts for every person involved in this.

We hope and pray that everyone in this family receives the help needed to turn their lives around and be whole again.  Many have reached out to you with love, in ways that may enrich your thinking on this blog.

Thank you for this exchange, again.




Would you please consider refraining from using the antiquated term "illegitimate births?"  This is a cruel term which is rarely used today because it is recognized a lable which hurts and objectifies innocent children who had no say as to whether they would be borne into a nuclear family, or otherwise.

I cannot stop you from using this term. I can only humbly ask you to consider who it hurts, when this term is used, and if you will kindly refrain from using it.
 
Replied By: retiredgramma on May 26, 2010, 11:39AM
Replied By: retiredgramma on May 25, 2010, 11:01PM - In reply to canadianna HOPEReplied By: jennybrighteye on May 25, 2010, 8:25PM - In reply to canadianna

Love unconditionally, it is quite possible  that the love Alexandra has for her children is in her mind unconditional...she must know that a "mother" "should" love a child unconditionally. 

There's a lot of things Alexandra "should" know. Protecting her children from harm isn't apparently one of them.

Canadaianna:
I've read your profile and you've posted a famous quote,  one that seems at odds with the tone that comes through on your blogs...all I'm asking is that you let go of all the dysfunctional history, the drama, and look toward the future for this family

Canadianna: Accept it as fact, Alexandra, isn't being a mother, just please stop pointing it out over & over!  The focus here is how to move on in the best possible way for the children.  She may or may not be there for them.  She may love them with all her heart, which may be very different than another mothers heart; she may have no maternal instinct what so ever...that is who  she is..where she has to start from.

 Canadiann: How would it feel for you to  be loving Alexandra unconditionally?  You didn't answer this question... Instead you continue to Harangue (someone else's words, not mine until now)  and Harp on the past.


TRUE Unconditional love means you love someone, no matter what. TRUE

That is not the same as supporting them while they continue to screw up their own and innocent children's lives. Wouldn't you agree?

Canadianna: What else could it possible mean?   Is the key word here "supporting"?  No one can stop one who makes bad choices for themselves.  They can only reach out with that unconditional love, tough love, until some conclusive point where the "lost soul" is  healthy again, or  just lost. choices.

Unconditional Love here:  Thanks to Marty & Erin (tough love) The children are in a stable environment with Marty, Erin, hopefully paternal family involvement.  They will always be a product of their childhood.  Hopefullly, they are thriving, happy, healthy, and still somewhat innocent of the upheaval around them.  

Unconditional Love Here:  Marty & Erin will continue to fight for these children in whatever legal matters come up. They are unconditioally loving Alexandra in these actions, that is different than approving her behavior, it is accepting that which may not change.!  

Alexandra doesn't seem to have the energy to fight her way out of a paper bag, let alone, continue a difficult pregnancy, care for a newborn, making the choices she's making. 

Marty, Erin, Dr Phil are preparing to implement more and more tough love, with both daughters, being able to set boundaries, as Marty & Erin do change, more tough love, boundary setting, etc., the dynamics will change them and their daughters.  We don't know about the paternal side of these children's lives..hopefully they are involved in a positive way, positive role models.  Marty & Erin are challenged here too to form positive relationships, for the children's sake

Thank you for the exchange of opinions
 
Replied By: kathleen27 on May 26, 2010, 11:26AM - In reply to canadianna
Ever hear of hating the sin, but loving the sinner? 
 
Replied By: johnnyho on May 26, 2010, 10:45AM - In reply to marianparoo
Alex sure has a high and mighty opinion of herself!  There is no possibility that she will be a good nurse:  she has a drug problem; she abandoned her children; she lives with a felon; she is rude and disrespectful to Doctor Phil and his staff and to her own parents.  Gimmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeee!  She is a spoiled brat and immature and lazy and self-absorbed.  Tell me again what she has said or done that makes her look like she would be respectful and concerned about the welfare of her patients.
 
Replied By: canadianna on May 26, 2010, 10:09AM
Replied By: retiredgramma on May 26, 2010, 9:58AM
Thanks for pointing this out.  In my mind Loving Unconditionally includes encouraging, supporting, ...remaining true to ones self to be there as who you are through whatever messes you have to move through!

I disagree that sexual promiscuity, illegitimate births, child neglect and child abandonment are actions worthy of either encouragement or support.


I've had my share of "Messes" and as sson as the finger pointing stops, the rehashing ends, acceptance of the situation begins,  progress begins.  But! I needed to be the one to recognize this first, find my true self and take good care of me!

Why do you think when Erin does this she is viciously insulted and attacked?  I was just wondering.
 
Replied By: retiredgramma on May 26, 2010, 10:09AM
Replied By: retiredgramma on May 25, 2010, 11:01PM - In reply to canadianna HOPEReplied By: jennybrighteye on May 25, 2010, 8:25PM - In reply to canadianna

Love unconditionally, it is quite possible  that the love Alexandra has for her children is in her mind unconditional...she must know that a "mother" "should" love a child unconditionally. 

There's a lot of things Alexandra "should" know. Protecting her children from harm isn't apparently one of them.
Canadaianna:
It is really hard to love unconditionally sometimes.   Haven't we all had to dig deep into our selves to love unconditionally?   How would it feel for you to  be loving Alexandra unconditionally?  Do you think Alexandra would feel your love come through on these posts?


I can't speak to what Alexandra would or would not "feel". My guess is she doesn't give a toss who says what. In her current mindset,  it's the rest of the world who get it wrong and she sees herself as a perpetually misunderstood victim.  If she rejects the helping hands that have been extended to her at all levels (as she has) - there's little reason to believe she cares what strangers say about her.  At the very least, she probably loves all the attention.

Unconditional love means you love someone, no matter what. That is not the same as supporting them while they continue to screw up their own and innocent children's lives.

Wouldn't you agree?
 
Replied By: canadianna on May 26, 2010, 10:06AM
Entry Title
Replied By: jennybrighteye on May 26, 2010, 8:46 AM


As far as Marty cutting off any support from Alex, then we would truly have the situation which is called "Throwing the baby out with the bathwater."

Marty is already fully supporting Alexandra. He is parenting two children she birthed and abandoned.

Baby #3 would be safer in daycare than in the company of Alexandra and Tony.  He'd be even more stable in an adoptive home.

As to who should help Alexandra...how about Alexandra?


 
Replied By: retiredgramma on May 26, 2010, 9:58AM - In reply to momisme2
Thanks for pointing this out.  In my mind Loving Unconditionally includes encouraging, supporting, ...remaining true to ones self to be there as who you are through whatever messes you have to move through! 

I've had my share of "Messes" and as sson as the finger pointing stops, the rehashing ends, acceptance of the situation begins,  progress begins.  But! I needed to be the one to recognize this first, find my true self and take good care of me! 

Only then was I able to answer the question in this "mess"  ...

Who Am I????  Who am I Being?

I am unconditional love, peace, joy and love.

My mantra.
 
Replied By: canadianna on May 26, 2010, 9:28AM
Replied By: retiredgramma on May 25, 2010, 11:01PM - In reply to canadianna HOPEReplied By: jennybrighteye on May 25, 2010, 8:25PM - In reply to canadianna

Love unconditionally, it is quite possible  that the love Alexandra has for her children is in her mind unconditional...she must know that a "mother" "should" love a child unconditionally. 

There's a lot of things Alexandra "should" know. Protecting her children from harm isn't apparently one of them.


It is really hard to love unconditionally sometimes.   Haven't we all had to dig deep into our selves to love unconditionally?   How would it feel for you to  be loving Alexandra unconditionally?  Do you think Alexandra would feel your love come through on these posts?


I can't speak to what Alexandra would or would not "feel". My guess is she doesn't give a toss who says what. In her current mindset,  it's the rest of the world who get it wrong and she sees herself as a perpetually misunderstood victim.  If she rejects the helping hands that have been extended to her at all levels (as she has) - there's little reason to believe she cares what strangers say about her.  At the very least, she probably loves all the attention.

Unconditional love means you love someone, no matter what. That is not the same as supporting them while they continue to screw up their own and innocent children's lives.

Wouldn't you agree?
 
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