2010 Shows

(Original Air Date: 05/21/10) What was the dating standard when you were a teen? Nowadays, there is more pressure for teens to hook up, and they are becoming sexually active at a much younger age than previous generations. Fourteen-year-old Cassidy says she doesn’t see anything wrong with teens having sex. Her mom, Erin, says her daughter engages in the act with multiple partners, and it’s a struggle to stop Cassidy from sneaking out at night to meet boys. What’s behind the teen’s motivation to get involved with so many young men? After speaking with Dr. Phil, will her opinion of sex, and herself, change? Next, Jason says he suspected his 15-year-old daughter, Jaylyn, was breaking the no-sex rule of their house, so he set up tape recorders to see what was really going on under his roof. Jaylyn says her dad needs to accept that she’s no longer his baby, and that she’s in a committed relationship, so sex is OK. Then, Kerry Cohen, author of Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity, weighs in and shares her personal experience as a young woman. And, if you’ve ever sent a sexy text message or thought about it, you may change your mind after learning where your message may end up. Plus, find out one of the biggest mistakes parents may not even know they’re making when they reveal their sexual past to their kids.

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: myownopinion6 on Nov 19, 2011, 8:20AM - In reply to abarler
i know her. i know where shes coming from. (about cassidy) .. you cant say anything bad about her until you lived her life. where we are growing up there is A LOT OF PRESSURE TO HAVE SEX. most give in.. now its all about popularity. the only way youre popular is if you do that. it may be wrong but please wake up and realize they have been teaching us about sex since we were 9. in 4th grade. so until you realize how much is actually going on please dont say nothing. almost half of the high school we go to is girls, half of the girls are pregnant. that obviously tells you no one here is doing anything to stop. so she is a normal teen. if youre going at her, then youre talking about almost every teen girl in america.
Replied By: myownopinion6 on Nov 19, 2011, 8:15AM - In reply to confuzzledcan
i am growing up in the same city she is.. its a small town. (kinda).. everyone knows each other. i am her age, i have to live with the fact that sex is very pressuring. here they have multiple sex ed classes and have been teaching us about it since 4th grade. it may seem wrong but its so true, i dont think anyone should judge because of the economic system. just because cassidy did something like that dont make her a bad person. she liked it, and so does 90% of teens. her mom was just doing what most mothers would, help their kids, try and get them scared, but we so many people having kids and stuff not getting hurt by it that we dont care. the school i go to has about 10 freshmans pregnant, just imagine how many in the upper grades. i am an 11th grader and have seen more teenage affairs, births, and everything. so to be able to say something like that you should view it first, see how WE live, times were different before.. now sex is ideal and it may be wrong but its so true. Shes a normal teen. so am i. so is every other teen out there.
Replied By: confuzzledcan on Aug 4, 2010, 4:20PM - In reply to dark_knight
I personally think that you'll be setting your children up to lie to you.

If it's a boy he won't tell you about your grandchild at all. If it's a girl she'll tell you when she's about 25 and out on her own about the abortion she had when she was a teen. Unless they do pick up the morality of honesty... in which case you will throw him/her out and they will find out the hard way that there is no social help in place really either. If it happens you should probably not expect to be permitted to see your grandbaby.  I don't think you could expect much more than that of an immature 13-15 year old who already proved by having having sex at a young age that they lack the ability to be responsible.

I really hope you never have to find out the hard way that when you have a child they are their own human being and like all humans knowing right from wrong doesn't automatically prevent wrong doing. I put little faith in your parenting "plan" but hope that someday if you are blessed with a child that you'll understand what a gift he or she is to you. To clear up a bit of where my advice comes from I am a 37 year old mother of an amazing little boy who just reached his 5 month mark. On one hand I'm incredibly blessed, I feared I'd never have a child and on the other hand have learned first hand how difficult it is to be a single mother. You may hope that your son would help the girl/woman, as you are correct it does take two but you cannot make him help her. My husband left me 6 weeks after our child was born. The man has just turned 40 and is not able to accept his responsibilities. I cannot make him visit his son. His father can not make him visit his son. If a boy/man also "job dodges" then there is no paycheck to garnish. So there goes financial support (not that $100-$150 a month would do much in the way of making up for the loss of physical and emotional partnership that should go into raising a child). Don't try to talk about court because 1/2 of nothing is still nothing and a court's decision to award you money is only useful if the defendant has any money or assets to take.

Now if you are as "powerful an influence" as you think you will be. Then by all means could you please make my dead-beat dad own up to his adult responsibilities for having made my beautiful child? No. You cannot. You cannot make anyone do anything. No one can. People are their own person and if the person they choose to be is ridiculously irresponsible you cannot control it or fix it.

If you raise a child the choice of parenting skills is up to you. The choice of child skills will be up to your child. I hope you all make good choices.
Replied By: cadescove99 on Aug 4, 2010, 3:41PM
How can Erin claim she "turned out all right" when Cassidy has obviosly gotten the idea, from being given intimate personal information her mother had no business giving her, that there's "nothing wrong" with teens having sex?
Replied By: dark_knight on Aug 4, 2010, 2:18PM - In reply to doucwhatido
the parents should have the right to know what their children are doing and I feel if the nurse knows something then s/he has a duty to tell the parents what their children have told them.

a lot of teens both male and female alike believe that oral is not sex but it is indeed sex and I must say very degrading to them both.

also I must agree that both males and females need to be treated equally as normally it takes two to tango as the old saying goes.
Replied By: doucwhatido on Aug 4, 2010, 1:52PM - In reply to momndoc
agreed...my experience too
Replied By: doucwhatido on Aug 4, 2010, 1:49PM
As a mother to 2 teen-aged boys and a middle school nurse this topic is SO relevant...however, the focus was on female teens...what about males...they are equal contributors to this issue. As a mom to  2 young men, I am raising them to be respectful of females, and to respect their bodies. I have had lengthy discussions with them about sex, sex-ting...etc...
now in my practice as a middle school nurse...teen sex and promiscuity is prolific...it is not uncommon for me to counsel both males and females on a weekly basis about sexual encounters they have had or concerns about friends or even concerns over STD's and pregnancy.... I am concerned about the laizefair attitude about it, especially oral sex...because of confidentiality I can't always call a parent and report what has been divulged to me. At any rate...I fear the 14 year old on your show is not the minority.... 
Replied By: abarler on Aug 4, 2010, 11:39AM
Hi there, As I was watching the show "Too Young, Too Fast," all I wanted to do is to protect those young girls.  The one thing that they don't understand that it is A LOT easier for a male to handle losing their virginity than a female.  Even though girls say that there are "no strings" attached, but in reality, girls get attached. It's in our nature...we are emotional human beings and need to feel "loved" and "wanted."  We are "people" pleasers.  There are only a few girls who are like Samantha on "Sex and the City," but she too got attached to a man.
Looking back at the years that I dated, the heart break that I endured and now being married, I can't believe how I lost respect for myself during those years.  Even though both my hubby and I waited to loose our virginity on our wedding night, I can't believe how I was as a person before.  I became OBSESSED with men...I wanted to have a guy hold me and love me...I would have done ANYTHING for a MAN b/c I craved that attention that I wasn't getting from my father at home.  However, thank God that I didn't date a lot and that my husband, while we were dating, wasn't going to "take advantage" of my insecurities and vulnerabilities.  Through the love that my mom had for me, she kept me "grounded."
When I watched this episode, it sadden me to see these girls who are craving that "manly" attention.  At least the first girl admitted that most of the guys "take advantage" of her, but the second girl is so naive.  Saying that her and her boyfriend are taking a break and she can't get pregnant with using protection or she can't get an STD from him...HELLO, wake up little girl.  One he is over you b/c you gave into his pleasure and now he is over you.  Two, I got pregnant with ALL THREE of my children while on birth control.  So don't say it can't happen b/c it does.
Anyways, I thought that it would be good to get the kids from the MTV show 16 and pregnant and the kids who are "too young, too fast" together and have a discussion...
Replied By: bleedingheart7 on Aug 4, 2010, 7:41AM - In reply to dark_knight
Being a parent doesn't entitle you to know everything about your child in the name of "helping" them.  I agree there are some things where parental authority and concern override respect and privacy.  In this case, however, the real issues were honesty, responsibility and self-esteem.  If the Father had recognized that his daughter was making choices about her body because she had low self esteem, maybe he would have been able to see that brow-beating her and black-mailing her into confessing that she was "having sex" would only have made the issue worse.  In my humble opinion, a child responds far better to respect and understanding from their parents than unreal expectations and demands.  This Father didn't want a confrontation with his child, yet he forced her to tell him about her most private experience?  Thats bizaare.  Children grow up before we are ready for them to. Trying to convince them that they are "too young" for this and "too young" for that is un-productive - obviously  - as she ended up having sex despite her father's great attempts to prevent her from doing it.  Bottom line, they will do it when they do it.  The best way to "protect" our children is to have realistic expectations, explain our expectations clearly (and the reasons for them) and to be prepared for our children to not have the same expectations for themselves.  In that case all we can do is keep the lines of communication open by making it clear that we will listen to what our teenagers have to say - we may not like it and we may not contribute to the choices they are making  but we will listen and provide guidance and support.

With all that said i read something about "zero tolerance" to which I agree to an extent Teenagers are young adults getting ready for the world.  they need to learn that their choices have real consequences.  I think its very important for teenagers to take responsibility for their choices early on.  It doesn't mean that as parents we won't be there to support them but just as we are only there to guide their choices, we are only their to support them as they deal with their mistakes.  If my child breaks a neighbor's window by accident, Mommy is not going to step up and pay for the window or deal with the neighbor.  It is my child's responsibility.  This is a silly example in comparison to the issues we are discussing but the more often a child realizes that his/her own actions have consequences that affect the child themselves - the sooner they are to consider how their choices responsibly.  If my daughter gets pregnant she's the one that will have a baby to raise.  If my daughter gets aids, its her that is going to have to live with the disease.  Thats scary and sad but its true.  I can't live my life trying to control things that are out of my control.  I love my kids and I hope and pray nothing like that ever happens to them, but all I can do is educate, guide and love them. 
Replied By: dark_knight on Aug 3, 2010, 9:46PM - In reply to bleedingheart7
if his daughter is having sex or not as that is being a good parent just as the parents have a right to know if their child has an STD.

Because HOW can the parents help their children if they know not what is wrong with them?

so I in the end very much agree with the father as he is the parent and we are not and as long as he is not abusing her then we have nothing to complan about.
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