2010 Shows

What if you could find out if your man is at a higher risk for infidelity before you married him? Controversial research suggests there is a cheating gene, and tests can tell you if your man may carry it! Angela says if she knew her husband, Jose, was going to be a cheater, she never would have married him. Jose has admitted to cheating with eight different women and claims that he’s addicted to pornography. Is he choosing his behavior, or is it possible his brain is actually wired to stray? Jose is put to the test. Will a simple brain scan tell Angela everything she needs to know about her husband’s cheating ways? Dr. Phil’s panel of medical experts discuss the new science behind a cheater’s brain and what can be done if your loved one is at a higher risk. Plus, learn what your partner’s hands may reveal about his tendency to stray!

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: carolinadk on Feb 15, 2013, 2:16PM
I really like this guy! He did a clean and open defense! Media tried so hard to nail him.... they couldn't.
Replied By: rakkertjie on May 6, 2010, 9:05AM
Dr Phil, I get real upset when you suggest to make sources available to help men who cheat. Because that is a waste of time and money and its cruel to the wife of a cheater to give her false hope. I was married to a cheater for 40yrs before I couldn't take it any more. He's 62 yrs old now and still no stopping him. He has a new girlfriend now and he's already cheating on her too. He actually tried to convince ME to be one of his "mistresses" now that we are divorced! Men like these can NOT be rehabilitated. So, the only advice you should give women who are cheated is to leave as fast as possible.

Another thing that worries me is that as good as you are with probing to the cor of a problem, you are not always a good judge of character. I know you now think "who the hell does this woman think she is?" but I consider myself a VERY good judge in this respect, and I'm seldom wrong! Sometimes, like one of your shows I watched recently about a cheating husband and his wife stalking him ( Christina and Jordi). I could tell from the moment I saw him he's a hopeless case, NOT in love with his wife and definately NOT of intention to stop cheating on her. You should have told her to get over him and get a divorce, otherwise she will NEVER be happy her entire live. No therapist or marriage councellor in the world is going to safe that marriage. Really.  All the stalking is just demeaning for her.

Thank you for allowing me to speak my mind.

Ina Wessels from South Africa.
Replied By: questforinfo on May 2, 2010, 6:01PM - In reply to karategirl2
I just wanted to thank you for responding.  We have been discussing how counseling may be a good option for us and will be looking into it very soon!  I know that you mentioned that we shoud tell our families, but I am not sure how that will go...While it was going on (last summer), I knew that something was wrong.  One of his friends sent me a letter telling me that my husband cheated and game me the contact info of the girls he slept with.  At the time< I didn't know what to believe, so I talked to his mom about it.  During our discussion, she made a comment that bothered me a bit..."If he really did cheat on you, do you really want to know...I wouldn't want to know something like that"  I think that by hearing her feelings about it made me afraid to tell anyone else.  Maybe it is because I am afraid that they will look at the situation and think that there was something I did wrong.  I will have to think about this a bit more.

If you don't mind my asking, are you still with your husband?  How long ago did this happen and how are you doing with it now?

I am finding myself getting better about certain things but I am now dealing with this obsession of wanting to know what she looks like.  I know that it has nothing to do with her, but I cannot help it!!

Thank you again for responding!  You gave me some important things to think about!
Replied By: hurtbad on May 2, 2010, 5:18AM - In reply to emmiejean
Thanks for the support, we all need it when we go through this sort of thing and lucky I have some good friends. I have been back home in Australia by myself for 3 months now and was feeling pretty low for the first month. I have ended up on medication for anxiety although I was assessed by thr Dr as being severely depressed but didn't want to take medication for depression, heard many bad stories about them making you feel worse and suicidal etc. I am feeling quite good about myself now and feeling stronger with the help of a counsellor. I have just been asked out for a lunch date by a male friend I have known for quite a few years and I am going. I deserve some fun and happiness after all I have been through. I have no intentions of jumping into a relationship though. I am constantly questioning myself though, asking if I should be doing this, is it really over, what if he(my husband) wants back in my life etc. It is scary, I am scared if I take him back he will just hurt me again and it would be another year wasted and then I am also scared if I don't would I regret it, it is really hard when you have loved someone for so many many years.
Replied By: stillbleve on Apr 30, 2010, 8:52AM
After seeing this form, I couldn't wait to get a look at my boyfriends' hands.  I was shocked to find that his ring finger is almost as long as his middle finger!  He acknowledges that he used to be a cheater, but swears that he isn't anymore. I do believe him, but what those hands are telling me is upsetting.  Am I the only one who was upset by this?  I wonder how "reliable" this is??
Replied By: stillbleve on Apr 30, 2010, 8:47AM
After I saw this show, I immediately wanted to look at my boyfriend's hands to see if he's "wired to cheat".  I was shocked when I saw that his ring finger is almost the same length as the middle finger.  It is upsetting to me and was to him when I told him about it.  He definitly acknowledges that he used to be a cheater, but swears that he's not anymore.  I do believe him, but I still think about what his hands are telling me!  Am I the only one upset by this?
Replied By: mizbee on Apr 29, 2010, 5:07PM
Dr. Phil always applauds himself for his straightforward talk but then hides behind  the cultural myth that women are always right and should be treated with kid gloves.  The correct title should have been "Why PEOPLE  Cheat".  I chose not to watch live the show on cheating MEN because from past experiences of your shows on this topic I knew you  would not  have the courage  a)  to point out that cheating is NOT JUST A MALE THING, in fact nearly as many women cheat on their spouses and b) men cheat for the same reasons as women -  they feel unappreciated, they do not feel desired for themselves but for the service/money they provide, the once sexy, always willing girlfriend turns into a busy  iceberg, the man works at work and then must work at home  etc.  Many women marry to have children and to have someone to support those children while they stay at home.
Sometimes the man lets himself go but often it is the wife who does not try hard enough to make herself desirable because she "bore his children", she's too busy, he should love her for her character.  Each of these reasons has been given on previous shows.  I remember one woman who even said that there IS no sex after marriage, another said they could get back to sex after the children are all in school.  Men don't marry to have a fat , platonic roommate with her hand in his wallet..  It is this bait and switch which often drives men to other women. Most mistresses are not more beautiful than the wives just as most of the men who cheat with married women are not drop dead gorgeous.     But Dr. Phil lets women get away with the blanket condemnation of men all the time.   Men just want sex?  Maybe that is true of the sex addicts but Mr. Average Joe just wants a wife who loves and appreciates him.  Do women have a long, unfaithful finger too?  Nonsense !!
Replied By: cuteepy32 on Apr 28, 2010, 5:03PM
I was saddened and shocked after viewing this show. When Dr. Phil asked the audience for their opinion about the validity of sex addiction, the majority of the audience thought it was all an excuse and that it wasn't a real addiction!!! Shocking!!! Sex addiction is just as real and horrible and drug, alcohol, gambling, and food addictions. Yes, maybe some men/women use sex addiction as an excuse for their cheating. but that doesn't make the actual addiction nonexistent!
I happen to be a female recovering sex addict, sober 5 years. It's hard to know how much sex addiction tore apart my life and family and then watch this show and see people say it's not real. All I can do is tell myself those people haven't educated themselves about sex addiction. If they knew more about it, they would know how real it is. They would know it's just as horrible as any other addiction. And yes, sex addiction exists in other countries and cultures!!!! Thank you, to the one expert who said he believes sex addiction is real!!! And Dr. Phil never really told his opinion, but I believe he knows sex addiction is real as well.
My suggestion would be for Dr. Phil to do a show about sex addiction and sex addicts (male AND female) to educate people. Please!!! It brings me to tears to watch a show where a majority of the people believe that the addiction that caused me to suffer so much and ruined my life, isn't real. Sex addiction is real. It is out there.
Replied By: catherine30 on Apr 28, 2010, 1:57PM - In reply to jennlaza
You are a nice person. You have it right. You are educating yourself and working, and then you and your husband share in the household chores. That makes a lot of sense. And, usually people who get an education are the ones who want their children to get an education. It sounds like you have a good marriage and family life. I saw a statistic that 85 percent of people in our country don't have a college degree, so that tells us many things. We all talk about education, but 85 percent is a staggering statistic.
I see what you are saying about some men use women for sex and don't want to get married, so you make the other side of the argument very well. I'm a woman coming from a situation where I unfortunately left a big city I was born and raised in and had lived in for 43 years, and moved to an urban area only to find out most folks in the suburbs are not so happy being married. I began getting hit on all of the time by married men, and it became such an epidemic that I do not feel safe here, and I started looking at what is wrong here. I found many women in this area don't work, and the high school drop out rate here is 50 percent. So, I began to see differences in cultures, women in big cities pretty much all work and are educated, yet in the suburbs of suburbs, most women don' work and don't get educations, and don't educate their children. I see men very unhappy with their wives, they all walk around like looking to escape. It's a very uncomfortable situation, and it's like they are all trapped over money, and none of them want to be doing what they are doing. I'm just burned out on having no person space, no rights, no privacy, and on having married women be mean to me if I'm not fat or over me being athletic, I'm tired of having no friends up here, I'm tired of being alone all the time because all he men who come on to me are married. What ever happened to if you want to move on, get a divorce, then start dating? All these guys want to find someone else before they even deal with getting separated or divorced, and, frankly they are poor, they are only looking to use someone, not to get a divorce. So, I'm just beyond burned out on it. I don't want to be here any longer, don't want to see one more day of all of this.
Replied By: avaelizabeth24 on Apr 28, 2010, 12:09PM - In reply to rickrusch
In my opinion, you are already on the way to cheating! 

If you are straying (in your mind), or not happy with the one you are committed to, even though you think you are; if and when the opportunity presents itself,  you will (would) probably go for it. 

I think men in general have huge ego's, and just feel like they have to keep telling themselves that they still have it!  Men are like bull dogs - just frothing at the mouth.

If you put a bad boy next to a yucky guy, who you goin' pick?

But there again, we woman usually end up picking the bad boy.  We woman, in alot of cases, need to start thinking with our heads more, and not our hearts.  We already know what you men are thinking with
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