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2010 Shows

 
(Original Air Date:04/16/10) Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter are just a few of the social networking sites millions of people visit each day /to reconnect with old friends, meet new ones and keep friends and family in the loop. These Web sites are also a place where ) relationships are being formed … and finished with the click of a mouse! Special Dr. Phil contributor Kelly Osbourne weighs in on why she’s banned social networking sites from her own relationship. Next, Adiat and Rico began their relationship on Facebook. After a year of dating, learn why one of them ended it with a “status change.” Rico, also known as Your Royal Flyness and Rico Suave, says he actually teaches other guys how to use Facebook to hook up with women. Then, Vince, 19, says he feels like a rock star when he goes online and lines up multiple ladies in one night. And, Chris complains that his wife, Kelly, is so focused on Facebook that she's rarely intimate with him. After the couple receives a house call from Dr. Edward Hallowell and his marriage therapist wife, Sue, authors of Married to Distraction, will they be able to revive their relationship? Plus, don't miss the biggest relationship mistakes you may not realize you're making.

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: loosinghope on Jul 19, 2010, 8:46AM
My husband & I have been married for 17 years. It is my second marriage, his first. We have had issues for years & are drifting apart to the point of we are nothing more than room mates now. He had an affair last year that all but destroyed our marriage. Now I sit for hours on the computer (Facebook mostly). He works 3rd shift, 6p.m. -6 a.m. He works an hour away and we are only able to be together maybe 1 day a week when he is  awake and I am home. I work part time at 2 jobs (finances necessitate). We have a 13 year old son together at home. We want to improve our marriage and reconnect and build a relationship together as a couple. We have NO idea where to start or if we can. I love my husband, but not the way I once did. There is no passion between us and with his TV/Movie watching & my PC time we just don't connect at all. I try to schedule time together and he'll go for it. But he never makes the effort to schedule it himself. I always feel like I am the one trying & he just goes along. Then it is SEX as his goal. I can't turn on like a switch that way and he has NO trouble doing so. What can we do?  I got us the books Fireproof & we watched the movie. I completed the book, he did not. I will try this book, who knows!
 
Replied By: loveformyson on Jul 16, 2010, 2:06PM - In reply to smoothstephen
I couldn't agree with your post more!!!  I didn't see the show but I would love to know what Dr Phil believes regarding this issue of FaceBook causing break-ups in relationships, etc because as you put it, you MUST HAVE TRUST!!! That's key to any relationship, especially ones that involve "lovers"!!

I have a F.B. acct. but my husband doesn't. He doesn't have a problem with me having one and if he did, that in itself would be an issue because 1. that would tell me that he doesn't trust me and 2. that he was trying to control me. There's one thing I learned very early on as a teenager. Never allow someone to control you. An ex boyfriend taught me that in a big way so when hubby and I started dating, I was very upfront about what that ex had did and I let my husband know then and there that I wouldn't stand for it with him. Almost 25 yrs later, we're still going strong!! He KNOWS where my heart is, where my heart has always been since day 1!!

I find the notion of F.B. or any other social networking site causing problems in relationships to be well, idiotic!!  As you posted, If someone's going to cheat, they're going to cheat whether it's on line or in person... PERIOD!! Instead of placing the blame on social networking sites, I say, put the blame where the blame belongs...... on the person, the cheater!! It's just to easy to blame a social networking site IMHO. Hopefully that's what Dr Phil told his guest and audience.......  Peace
 
Replied By: sandradanny on Jul 14, 2010, 2:17PM
My husband and I both have My space accounts, though he is a lot more active on it, than I am.  He uses it to keep up with relatives and some of his wrestling buddies.  He activated thier IM mesaage feature, several years ago.  He had only had IM for maybe a month, when the  girlfriend of one of the wrestlers aske  for a friend request.  He asked if I had a problem with it., and I said no, since we did know her.  That was a big mistake.  She had broken up with the wrestler, and then became obsessed with my husband, knowing we were happily married. 

Since you can not have but one May Spce IM on the same computer, as soon as I got on the internet for any reason, she was on IM  begging for my husband to respond to her IM. And when he didin't she got mad, and would say someting like, "So, you don't wan't to talk to me!!"  A weeks later, I told him he needed to put an end to it, and deleated her as a my space friend.  She has since tried to asked for a friend request on several ocassions,  but he said no.  WE learned from some of the other wrestlers girlfriends and wives, she had done the same thing to their men, also.  We haven't heard from her in more than a year, and I hope we don't ever again.

Sandra
 
Replied By: alirob on Jul 14, 2010, 12:59PM
I do not believe that internet dating is completly horrible. I met a man in Dec. 2007 on myspace and we meet, dated, and got married feb 2009. You just have to be completly honest and be yourself. People do need to be careful and make sure to check the person out before anything gets serious. Also do not let the internet be the whole life cause if you can not be together in person then it is a waste of time.
 
Replied By: chaosbutterfly on Jul 14, 2010, 11:01AM - In reply to valdutcher
I have Asperger's Syndrome (along with many other physical and mental issues). I have difficult communicating with new people and am very nervous around new people, making it basically impossible to go on a date unless I know someone. With the internet, I have been able to find people to date after getting to know them better. Two of them were long term relationships. The last one just recently ended even though I think we are soulmates (and before this, so did he). It ended because of miscommunication and that was due to my other disabilities, as well as his. In no way was the internet responsible for the trouble we got ourseleves into. Instead, it brought us together and showed me so many great things in life; it has also taught me so much. Without the internet, I would never have had this chance. I feel that I, along with others like me with communication, anxiety disorders, etc, deserve a chance at finding someone that will care about us no matter what. The internet gives us that freedom. It is up to the people in the relationship to work on the relationship, to communicate in person and try to make things work out. The people in the relationship are responsible to be repectful enough to break-up if that is the choice in the best matter possible. I know that everyone is different and for some, it may be easier to explain things online. The rules just need to be made before hand on what will be done in the event of a break-up and you have to be willing to take the risk if you are dating someone you met through an online site.
 
Replied By: chaosbutterfly on Jul 14, 2010, 10:52AM
I think that online dating has both its positives and its negatives. Yes, you don't use proper communication skills or ones that you need in real life, but there are many out there that are born with disabililites that make one on one communication very difficult at first. I have Asperger's Syndrome, among other disabilities, and found that online dating is a great way for me to "get to know someone" and still not feel out of my comfort zone to the point where I would need an anti-anxiety medication. The degree to which I have issues initiating contact and getting to someone is very hard for me. Without online dating, or myspace/facebook/etc I think me and those like me are at a disadvantage in the dating field. Despite our disabilties we deserve the chance at love and happiness. I wish I could tell you I had a success story to share, but even though I did meet my soulmate on myspace, at this point and for the future I can see, my other disabilities (such as bipolar) prevent us from having a meaning relationship. It had nothing to do with the internet at all. I think that as long as people are willing to work after meeting in person, than trying to find someone online is just fine.
 
Replied By: valdutcher on Jul 13, 2010, 2:13PM
I wish I had seen the show on Monday, July 12, 2010 as I am presently taking an intro. to psychology class and have a final presentation and my chosen topic is Facebook Addiction.  I am sick today so I could not go to class to do my presentation but will do it next week.  I will be surfing the Dr. Phil site to see if any additional information should be used for my presentation.
~Val-D
 
Replied By: kjpeiers on Jul 13, 2010, 2:12PM
There are other internet connections besides those mentioned where people interact.  Such as internet games like World of Warcraft!  How many families have been broken up over that game?  I know of some!!  That game isn't one where someone can just log off all of a sudden like you can Facebook or Myspace.  You have to "turn in" your items for the "quest" you are on, which can take anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes to do, especially if you are in the middle of a "raid"!!  I have lived with that game interfering with my marriage for 3 1/2 years!! It changes people...and not for the better!! 

How do you get through to your spouse that they have changed because of the interactive game they play with total strangers?  How do you let your spouse know they are less sensitive and more aggressive because of it?  How do you compete with the Guild's needs being more important than the FAMILY'S needs??

I met my husband on AOL but we both got rid of it once we were engaged.  I am on Facebook but only have friends who are family or people I know in person.  I play the little games on it but can log off in a moment's notice!  I limit my time on it for an hour a day.  My husband compares it to WoW (World of Warcraft), but it is NOTHING like that!!  And I don't spend a penny on FB while he spends $15 every month for WoW.  I don't chat with anyone on FB, he has a headset where he can talk with these total strangers!!  His friend who introduced him to WoW left his wife and 2 children for a woman he met on WoW....and he wonders why I hate the game so much?!?!  I hoped he would get bored with it...but 3 1/2 years later he is more into it than ever!!  He doesn't play every night, but when he does play he is on for up to 3 hours while I am alone in bed 10 feet from him.  And now he has a character for our 10 year old son to play, despite my adamant opposition to it!!  This is the only vice in our relationship.  If I didn't love him so much and we weren't so happy other than this issue, I would leave him!  But we have been married 12 years and he is a good husband and father!  I have told him he can play any other game but this particular one and yet this is the one he "enjoys playing". 

Anyway....just wanted to point out there are more dangerous internet sites than Facebook or MySpace or Twitter!! 
 
Replied By: smoothstephen on Jul 12, 2010, 9:02PM
i believe that trust is a must when it comes to social networking sites. my prtner and i are both comfortable with each other having friends online, i belive that if your partner is going to cheat ,then they will do it regardless of whether it's online or in real life and if they cheat then they obviously wern't the right one in the first place!. you can't stop someone cheating so stopping them from being on social websites won't prevent them from cheating . i think that if your partner stops you from seeing what there writing or who there talking to online ,then you have something to worry about and ias probably the first sign of infidelity!. myself and my fiancee have been together and for sixteen years and are getting married next year and one of the ways that we know we can trust each other is that we have online trust and have no probem sharing what we do and who we talk to online.
 
Replied By: hayide on Jul 12, 2010, 9:01PM
I use facebook most often but one thing l dislike about some of friends is that they dont even care about your status despite the fact that l put there in a plain text that l am married. some senseless people still send love messages and make senseless comments. I dislike that aspect and the solution l found out for my self is to block those people. my husband understand and he does not have problem with it.
 
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