2010 Shows

(Original Air Date: 02/24/10) When Rick and JoAnne last appeared on the show, they said they were desperate to save their 19-year-old son, Michael, who was abusing OxyContin. The teen entered La Hacienda Treatment Center for his addiction but relapsed shortly thereafter. Find out what happens when Dr. Frank Lawlis, chairman of the Dr. Phil Advisory Board, stages an intervention at Michael’s home. The results might surprise you. Rick and Joanne admit that they enable their son’s toxic behavior. Can they let go enough to allow him to help himself? Next, 20-year-old Amanda was a cheerleader and a good student, but since she started abusing Oxycotin, heroin and cocaine she says her life has been filled with violence and brushes with the law. Her parents, Terry and Laurie, say they’re doing everything in their power to help her, so why does Dr. Phil believe they're doing more harm than good? And, find out how your favorite guests are faring since appearing on the show. Check out Taking the Next Step!

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: samanthamay on May 18, 2014, 1:48AM - In reply to dawnd64
Hey, do you have any idea how Amanda is doing today? The last I saw was the 2012 show where it looked like she declined treatment. I've been in her shoes almost exactly and know how terrifying it is. It took me several times in treatment before I was able to really turn it around, and I hate the stigma that addicts don't ever recover. My heart goes out to her though, I really hope she made it.

Best, Samanthaa 
Replied By: lorrainemcl on Feb 22, 2011, 11:04AM
I wrote a message on February 24, 2010 after watching this episode.  This Saturday, my 26 year old son entered rehab on his own accord. I have never been more proud of him in my whole life!
Replied By: brisamps on Aug 5, 2010, 1:51AM
I could not believe the parents of the Young lady who had a serious drug addiction. The mother said they are retired military. This mother had more excuses for herself and her behaviour and didn't seem to want to believe what the professionals told her. I have a intellectually disabled son who at the age of 18 years started to behave in a way that was not acceptable to me. Missing school, telling teachers to f off and his behaviour was not any better at home. I gave him a number of warnings and told him if he did not straighten out I would have no other option but to have him leave my home. Eventually I had to put him out. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but it was also the most loving thing I've ever done. For 5 years he did his thing and than he came to me broken and ready to listen.  Yes I was terrified for those 5 years particularly because he is disabled. The option of allowing him to stay in my home and making excuses for him I think would of done more harm than good and I would of still have been worried to death for him. I think taking the tough love approach lessened my time in hell worried about him. He is not a 100 percent. Besides his intellectual disability he also has some sort of mental illness which the doctors have not yet been able to identify. He lives in his own home. Tries very hard to look after himself and all in all he is doing pretty good for a disabled person. He still needs a lot of support and help. I have actually wrote Dr. Phil about my son trying to get help for him. When that didn't work I wrote his wife thinking a mother would surely identify with a mother who only wants the best for her child. Unfortunately I have had no response. These people should be so grateful that Dr. Phil has taken their case. Unfortunately I still feel the mother wants to try the easier softer way  to assuage her fears. I hope she listens in time before it is too late.
Replied By: coffee0209 on Jul 23, 2010, 11:21PM
I watched the show and was left feeling very frustrated w/ the whole thing! 1st these parents say they will do anything then make up excuses for their behavior. Each of these families have the resources to get help for themselves and child! There are plenty of ppl out there who would welcome a chance to receive help like that or even half of what you were offering. Instead they take cruise, whats more important their childs life or vacation sounded to me as it was the vacation and then say they are doing everything they can BULL!  I have a brother who had a 1000.$ day oxy habit plus anything else he could get his hands on, When my dad died he used up all of my mom's life insurance and future before I could blink a eye and stop it! I the only 1 in the family to play the tough love, Forced him to move out (good move) but he had to try and kick this habit on the streets homeless, After a year of struggle he has kicked the oxy habit onto another drug to kick the oxy habit!! He still needs the proper training in how to make life decisions, at this point in his life he is looking at having a child w/ his girlfriend who is also homeless both on social security! I have 4 kids 3 w/ autism and I have a whole battery of neurological issue as well as M.S! I have really tried to do everything I could! I wish someone would have offered us this or even close! I am proud of my brother even though he is still struggling, It's the parents who also need counseling and I was very disappointed that wasn't brought forth more. I love your show and although we dont always see eye to eye, I really found it important to let you know If they are going to be of any help to their children they need help and counseling not excuses. After treating your staff the way they did and almost making her cry on T.V I am not sure why they deserved your help when I can count thousands who would never have acted like that! Good luck to you & your staff in helping these ppl and hope they actually do listen! Many blessing to all of your hardwork & efforts!
Replied By: loviejas on Jul 23, 2010, 2:38PM
Been there done that still everyday of my life I am trying to help my son a beautiful boy that has struggled with drug abuse since he was 13. Looked on your wed site for help and information and came across Hazel Street Recovery center he went for 4 months.  Never heard of a recovery center after rehab center.  I watch these parents on your show I feel their pain.  I really do.  If I had to do over things would be so different.  I would not shed a tear.  It would be the happiest day of my life to get him into a center that could get through to him.  He has said often he wishes he had a time machine.  my life has fallen apart married for twenty years that is gone.  Sick parents that need my help and a drug addicted son.  I have more that I can handle.  i am a very strong person with lots of love to give.  What is more important then family?
Replied By: lv4127 on Jul 23, 2010, 2:32PM - In reply to aintnofoolnomo
We are currently going through a drug addiction problem with our adult daughter.  If it were not for NarAnon, I would have had a complete breakdown.  At our Thursday night meeting, we did discuss the enablier show.  I was disappointed that Dr. Phil did notrequest that the parents also seek their own help.  And of course, NarAnon is the way to go.
Replied By: bottomedout on Jul 23, 2010, 1:37PM
My husband has been the enabler for 6 years and even though we go to the same therapy, the same classes, he continues.  he says he won't, but then he does, behind my back.  i have asked therapists what to do and no one has an answer.  because my husband has a son from a previous marriage living in Europe, i told him that he should go stay there for a while if he can't follow the advice.  I said if he can't help, then he should get out of the way.  so, he did.  and now I am trying to do this all alone.  i don't think I can.  my big brother who was my only other anchor in my life died of a heart attack 3 years ago and I am just so tired of everything going against me.  i discovered last summer that my husband had been going to "massage parlors" for the last 6 years, his way of dealing with the stress of our son's addiciton.  I have always been the strong one, and here i am all alone and I just don't want to leave the house or talk to anyone.  i just asked my son to leave again, for several reasons, and he said he doesn't know what to do and so he will probably OD.  my life has been falling apart around me for the last 6 years and i think it is crashing today.  all i can say for my life's accomplishments is that i was a successful business person and made a fair amount of money working up the corporate ladder.  and that's about it.  i have 1 child and i have totally messed that up and a totally messed up marriage.  i have tried the x-anon's but i can't take the whining. i know its helpful to share, but i really need some good advice.  one counselor or therapist or rehab tells you that the other advice you got was all wrong.  when do you ever know its right?
Replied By: aintnofoolnomo on Jul 22, 2010, 5:48PM
Watching Dr. Phil's show, "Are You an Enabler" really stirred up a lot of memories for me.  Enabling was not only a way of life for me when it came to my children, but it was the only way I could make myself feel better until I joined Nar-Anon and got educated about how enabling can destroy lives.  I learned that we truly can, "Love them to death."  I remember reading somewhere that a father ran down to the local jail to bail his drug addicted son: believing he was "helping" his son avoid the pain of sitting in jail and being all alone.  The son jumped in his car, took off and very soon hit another car and killed the driver.  That story always stuck with me................we could actually "love our children to death."
Dr. Phil and his staff arrange for life saving programs for addicts; all he asks is that parents listen to the professionals and accept their advice.  On the surface, that seems like a pretty simple set of instructions, but maternal/paternal instincts set in and soon the parents forget how important their active participation (or lack thereof) impacts the success of the intervention.
I was told about Nar-Anon at my child's rehab center; I was told that I needed a life saving recovery program too.  I listened and I went through the doors of my first meeting.  There I met people who not only understood my pain, but also knew that I was about to embark on a journey of self-discovery.  Yep, it was in Nar-Anon that I learned that I had choices and the right to make them.  I couldn't change my child's path, but I could certainly change mine.  An NA guest speaker shared her journey with us one evening and left a perspective changing thought with me: "When we know better, we do better.
I believe we struggle with enabling our loved ones because it makes us feel better about ourselves and our efforts to right an obvious wrong.  Many of us believe that we can change outcomes by intervening with, "help."  What we end up doing is exhausting ourselves with unappreciated and ineffective efforts.
I hope today's guests and those who come along here to read or share will join me in Nar-Anon so that they, too, will do better.
Nar-Anon Family Groups - www.nar-anon.org Nar-Anon Family Forum - http://www.naranon.com/forum

Replied By: dmocha57 on Jul 22, 2010, 4:19PM
March 27, 2009 I buried my partner of 8 years as a result of a methadone/ Fentynol patch addiction.  He and I struggled for his sobriety for 8 years.  In 2001 we sought addiction assistance from Dr. Rand in San Diego, CA.  I detoxed Tom at home from Oxycontin and benzodiazopins and Dr. Rand monitored him weekly.  It was touch and go with seizures and cravings for the opiotes.  We attended NA meetings for the first year and soon Tom started making excuses as to why he did not want to go.  He relapsed again and Dr. Rand assisted us again.  There was a period of sobriety with many relapses.  When I was able to "block"  all of the ways Tom was able to get medications he stayed sober, but eventually he began using his father as an enabler.  He would set up doctors appointments for Da's pain and get the medications he wanted and leaving non for his dad.  We fought constantly and each time he promised sobriety and I bought the lie.  I enabled him to his death eventually just ignoring it while allowing food to become my addiction to hide my pain.  The last 6 months of his life he had convinced a local doctor who specialized in "addiction" to perscribe him with 750 methadone and 10 Fentynol patches per month.  He had also convinced a doctor at the local community clinic to give him a monthly perscription of 750 methadone and 10 Fentynol patches.  I came home from work and found his heart had stopped and he had been lying dead on my living room floor for about 7 hours, a bottle of pills still sitting on the kitchen counter.  It is a visual image I will never forget.  His brother, detective for San Diego's district attorney's office summed it up best. His father and I had enabled him to death.  It was originally the house rule that if you use you must move.  Eventually I just got tired of the arguing and ignored it.  In 8 years he had never stolen money, or any items.  The last six months he was stealing $600 a month and stealing and pawning possessions.  Perscrition drugs are a horrible addiction because EVERYONE has them.  He could con people he just met in a gym out of a Vicodin......we all eventually become enablers and the better looking, the kinder, the more innocent they seem, the better they con.
Replied By: redmjl on Jul 22, 2010, 4:13PM - In reply to soonerdru
I found it interesting also that the family wasn't given counseling on how to change their behavior regarding their child/sibling.  I know I would need help to change my thought process and actions appropriately. Just adapting to children who are growing up is a challenge as we want to be "helpful" and giving; however, I have  to change how I think of them as they grow and I don't know how successful I would be if I had to apply tough love!  My heart cries for these families.
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