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2010 Shows

 
(Original Air Date: 02/10/10) Ending a relationship is never easy, but when there are children involved, it becomes even more complicated. Tisha and Peter are getting divorced and battling over custody of their two children, who are 10 and 11. Peter says his soon-to-be ex-wife doesn’t deserve to have the title of mother and is fighting her for 50/50 custody of their kids. With allegations of abuse and parental alienation syndrome, this battle has gotten so ugly, Tisha says that if she ever turns up missing, her family will know who did it. Experts choose sides as legal analyst Lisa Bloom joins the show on Tisha’s behalf, civil and family attorney Areva Martin sits on Peter’s side, and Dr. Phil speaks for the children, in a group effort to make strides toward a peaceful agreement. Plus, want to improve your chance of gaining custody of your children? Hear the tips you need to know!

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: jeannie812 on Jan 13, 2011, 9:00PM - In reply to scarred4life
That rips me to the bone.

I was the single mother of three in my divorce and I was the asshole in the divorce.   

If I knew what I know now.   I would not have fought for child support.  I would have let my ex-husband  disappear over the sunset with all his girlfriends.  And,  I would have disappeared with the kids. 
 
Replied By: jeannie812 on Jan 13, 2011, 8:22PM - In reply to restraint
You are awesome! You got these guys pegged!
 
Replied By: violetforest on Jan 1, 2011, 7:08PM
bio mom did not even show up with stepson for christmas. It has been a year since we have seen him.  And at that point she attempted to get law enforcement to remove him from our home with additional claims of abuse.  She refuses to bring him to the court ordered therapy, takes him out of school and extracurricular activities during periods of placement with biodad. 
Each GAL has felt like they can "fix" this by attempting to have the parties to agree to "another" agreement and/or mediation period.  Bio dad has agreed to multiple agreements attempting to gain visitation with his son only to have biomom refuse to show up, cliam that he was sick or some other excuse.  .  bio dad attempted as Dr. Phil outlined to make agreements outside of court, the problem with at has been that even then, biomom has not followed the agreement.  She has used relatives to block visitation, claim that stepson "refuses" to go only to find out that they allowed him to go with relatives to a water park rather than coming for a visit.  Funny how during the periods that we did have stepson in therapy he expressed that he wanted to visit and that he wanted to participate in family activites.  These were private sessions with the therapist without influence from either parent.
We have raised two very successful children and the other two that live with us are doing very well in school.  The oldest stepson who has always lived with us continues to struggle each time that biomom comes back in or out of the picture.  Biomom has choosen her youngest son and the only time that she has attempted to even take the oldest for even periods of visitation is when court is coming up. It breaks my heart to watch him go through this, I dont understand how the court continues to allow her to break court orders over and over.  How do we stop this. 

Does it have to mean that we dont have a relationship with my stepson and that his brother doesnt either?  There are laws in place that says that it is a felony if you withhold a child but how do we get this to stop if everytime the child is interviewed she refuses to have him interviewed alone and she is the one that tells them that he is refusing.  He doesnt refuse in the therapy sessions that he had and soon after she pulled him completely from therapy against the order. 

I have not even gone into the issues such has her not giving notification that she "dropped" her insurance coverage without notice for a period of four months and now there is a bill for over $1000.00. 
Her use of confidencial medical records, which the judge addressed that she was not to continue use of and that she was to return all copies that she had to the court. 
Her pulling stepson out of sports activites against the court order.
Her showing up to our home at 11:00am to pick up the oldest ss when the court order stated 6:30pm the evening prior. 
Her requesting that relatives go into our home and physically remove fish from a fish tank while we were at a court hearing for the custody issues.

I knew that being a stepparent would have its challenges, but I thought that it would be with the kids.  This has cost us everthing that we have.  Everyone says well get a lawyer and take it to court, we have nothing left to give and we have all along attempted to gain only visits with ss.  We are at the point that this has to stop.  My husband is very depressed and this whole situation has been very hard on the whole family.  Families deserve to be happy and to be allowed to spend time together to create those bonds to support them through their lifetimes. 

Hearing Dr. Phil say that he questioned parent alienation was very upsetting.  This is a young man who get treated as if he was a small child.  When he did get to see me the last few times he ran up and gave me a hug hello, high fived me and allowed me to stand back to back to see how much he had grown since i had seen him last, smiled and talked up a storm about all the things that he had been doing.  How does his mother continue to refuse to allow him to have healthy relationships. How do we get this to stop.  We have jumped through hoop after hoop to prove that things need to change and still we can not make any headway. 
 
Replied By: aliciamumof5 on Dec 6, 2010, 12:41AM
My partner rang me from prison this afternoon and asked if i saw dr. phil today which i had missed (a re run for us in perth western australia), had a little laugh and said oh it's just because the lady on it was just like you, but after the few short pieces of the show i've seen on this site i think it's the other way around! This show has been us before my partner still cant see or admitt any wrong doing either, such i good lier cant be trusted, kids have gut instinks of their own and will make their own judgements no matter what their told. we have split so many times and not been able to do it properly because of all these games!
 
Replied By: truefather on Jul 14, 2010, 9:36AM - In reply to divorcedwith2
I think it must be realizes that this also happens to custodial fathers as well. The mother of my children did move away for a time, but she was the one who owed child support. The forunate thing is at the advice of several ggod friends and family I didn't marry her and therefore did not have to go through a divorce. Yet it was still pretty bad.

To may times it is failed to be mentioned that non-custodial mothers are much worse at not paying support than fathers and though not in the household anymore remain abusive in many ways beside not paying. They are also abusive verbally to both ex-spose and children and abuse their rights of visitation in just about any way you could think of. I also find that this is not discussed enough on this show and many others. I have my suspitions as to why this is so, but I will leave it at that. So just don't forget that there are some single fathers who suffer much the same way.
 
Replied By: truefather on Jul 11, 2010, 2:09PM - In reply to mondaychild
It is very apparent that the both of you are bieased as well as wrong. There are way to many women playing the system and taking children from their fathers. In some of these cases the mothers may very well be the actual abusers and the father is trying to save the kids. I know this was true in my case and a couple of other men I know that now have custody. But because the women made false claims to begin with it becAME A BATTLE and the time lapse of HER having the children was very harmful for that time. One reason is that SHE took out her frustrations on the children and in other cases took any child support to buy drugs and alcohol for herself and nothing went to the child/chilfren. Now you go figure out that you are basically wrong?
 
Replied By: loveandlightbd on Jul 9, 2010, 4:56AM
I watched the show about the two parents dragging kids into a legal dispute and divorce and it made my hair stand straight up. ive been with my partner for 9 years and the first 5 years of our relationship we had a similar problem as the father of the kids - his ex wife made up all sorts of allegations and caused so much damage that we literally went through hell for him to see his kids. sad that even in the USA - parent alienation is so big and that the woman who play the victim get away with making the father out to be the bad guy. i could not blame the dad for being angry and trying to vent by writing that letter - men often feel unheard and unsupported by the legal system who favour the woman!! anyhow - i wish they will resolve it sooner rather than later as we now have a wonderful relationship with Both my partners kids and access as often as we like - :) alls well that ends well - and the kids seems to have recovered from the ordeal - thankfully !! pity that those hurtful games have to be played in the first place . - completely unnecessary !!!
 
Replied By: transwood on Jul 2, 2010, 2:04PM
Did anyone notice how the woman seemed not really there like she was on some kind of drugs?  Neither parent seemed like they should get the kids.  They both were all about themselves.  The father needs to start paying child support and the mother needs to pull herself together.  Until then maybe a relative should take the kids.
 
Replied By: scarred4life on Jul 2, 2010, 11:08AM - In reply to served
So how many of you noticed that Dr. Phil  seemed to listen ONLY to the woman in this show? I thought it was unfair of him to automatically believe the woman in this story. What I saw and heard is that the wife was so bitter because he would not tolerate her cheating and getting away with it. She was accustomed to her lifestyle and didn't want it to change. She is upset that he took a stand to show his kids that it's not right to cheat and that they don't have to sit back and take it up the behind when someone bullies them. The father just wants to see his kids. He doesn't want any problems but problems have occured because the mother says it to be so. She accused him of drinking but what I would like to know is this.... is she living with him and monitoring him 24/7 to know this to be fact? Answer... NO! She just assumes that he is because it is what she has known to happen in the past. She does not realize that it is possible that he has changed for the better now that he is not around her. She also tells these lies to the kids and the kids, not being able to see their father to ask him, will automatically feel the same way as the mother. I call it brainwashing but the technical term is Parental Alienation Syndrom. Either way you look at it, it is all about control for her.  She feels she needs to control the kids and she feels that she still needs to control him as well.

I am a 3rd party witness to this exact same thing going on with my fiance and his ex-wife. There are 3 kids all under the age of 11 and he has not seen their kids in almost 2 years because she refuses to let him near them. Keep in mind there is the divorce settlement that states he has every right to see them on certain days. Then she accuses him of drinking, which he has not in 2 years. Every time there was any exchange, the police have been involved because she has created some sort of distubance (the last one being that she attacked me literally when I was a block away). She says that she is afraid that he would not be able to take care of her kids, but she had absolutely no issues when leaving the kids alone with him before he moved out and she would be gone almost all night, every night with her boyfriend...   cheating. He found this out through his own kids who were always at the "nice farmer man's" house watching them "hold hands" and  "kiss like mommy and daddy used to do".

He has been told numerous times that his own kids hate him and even his now 10 year old daughter tells everyone that he is dead. He is afraid to go to try to get his kids because she has threatened gun-play and physical violence if he ever steps foot on "her" property ever again. The police won't do anything until there is a smoking gun and by then, it would be too late. The courts don't want to listen to the men and the women can cry their poor me stories and it is automatically believed. My fiance's ex went Pro-Se after 2 attorney's dumped her citing "she's nuts" and she won.... everything... sole custody, OVER the manditory amount for child support, maintenance (even tho it was NOT a maintenance case, she still got it for a year), and extra $1,200 a year for sports and activities ON TOP OF any day care expense that she might encure IF she ever got off her butt to get a job. He can barely survive and she keeps taking him to court for things that are already written into the settlement and more money. She has YET to comply with anything in the settlement but the judge could care less about that. She is a single mother of 3 with no job so she automatically wins.

So, when I see Dr. Phil siding with the woman and not even listening to the man when he is doing everthing he can to be heard in this case, I've got to wonder... when will the violence end? When do the men become victims of  violence too? When will it be believed that women can be just as dangerous or even more so dangerous than men? Women can be every bit as bitter, evil and conniving as men and when they put their mind to it, they can and will execute there threats down to the last letter. Something judges don't realize.... there is no such thing as a weaker sex and women will take advantage of that over and over until gender is no longer seen in the court system.
 
Replied By: dandick on Jul 1, 2010, 7:15PM
The recurring theme of bitterness and the need to de-escalate the war and separate the children from the war between the parents gives reason to question whether our unilateral no-fault divorce laws are really working well for us.

Often, it is not enough to sweep the anger under the rug. It returns, and sometimes with a vengeance.

Asking whether one wants to be "right or successful" may sound like an effective way to get someone to accept reality.  However, in our hearts, we know it is the epitome of cowardice and reprehensible to make a faithful spouse choose between their children and justice, between loving justice and loving one's children, to threaten an innocent spouse's relationship with his or her children in order to secure protection of something as reprehensible as adultery, slander, emotional abuse, and the unjust destruction of one's family.

If we don't want to be called liars, slanderers, cheaters, abusers, thieves, and such, we should choose not to behave like liars, slanderers, cheaters, abusers, thieves, and such.

So often we talk about sheltering children from the crossfire.  We need to face reality and recognize that the first shot the children take is the first moment one parent cheats, slanders, abuses, lies, or does something to bring destruction to the family.

What needs to happen is for us Americans to learn to speak with integrity defending what is right insteae of what is wrong.  We need to learn to stop lying and questioning things that are obviously true.  It's OK to question honestly.  But, to question for nothing more than to "how do you know" a fact into justifiable denial is detestable.  Sometimes, when we are given a stupid, dishonest question, we need to call it what it is.

One such truth is that marriage is a promise, a vow that should not be given unless one is willing to be held responsible and accountable for honoring the vows faithfully.  A spouse who chooses to violate the vows deserves to suffer the consequences.

Now, I am a great believer in forgiveness.  However, I also believe you cannot forgive anybody but a liar for lying, a cheater for cheating, and adulterer for adultery, a whore for whoring, an abuser for abusing, a slanderer for slandering, and so on.  When a person has a change of heart and detests the sin they once committed, they stop being a liar, adulterer, or whatever they were.  They become an ex-cheat.

Some people shy away from name-calling.  Many people feel it is best to address the behavior and avoid applying labels.  I believe it is best to avoid name-calling because too often it may be dishonest in that it does not allow the benefit of the doubt where a person may have given up the bad behavior.  Nobody has the power to change their past.  But, they do have the power to change their current and future behavior.  I believe a liar is not a person who has lied in the past but a person who is willing to lie right now given the right situation.  I believe a whore is not a person who has committed adultery in the past, but rather a person willing to cave into the temptation to commit adultery now given the right opportunity.  The fact that the temptation is not present does not mean a person is honorable.  It just means the temptation is absent.

So, if we don't want to be called a liar, we should not be willing to lie.

What does it say to our children when we play the whore on our marriages and demand that we not be called whores?  What does it say to our children when our government fights the faithful spouse and defends the unfaithful or takes the children away from the faithful and give them to the unfaithful?

What does it say to our children when our nation punishes the faithful spouse for telling the truth?  What does it tell our children when our nation rewards the spouse who files slanderous and untrue charges against an innocent spouse and gets away with it, even being rewarded with child custody, house, property, and child support payments for such a crime?

It seems we have extensive training in parenting and anger management, but a dullness that would challenge the common doorknob when it comes to fairness and what's best for the children and society.  it seems we would rather rip the children from the faithful parent and throw them into the whorehouse of adultery while beating up and robbing the faithful for every expression of disapproval.

The word for this is cowardice, and may God curse to hell those who defend it hiding behind the lie of seeking the best interest of the children.  If you love children sincerely, you love faithfulness, justice, integrity, and good, responsible behavior.

So often I have heard the worn and dishonest notion that with every marital breakup, both partners are at fault.  Its a lie from the pit of hell.  What would one think of the rape victim were blamed?  Were the people in the WTC guilty of being bombed by the terrorist?  If an angry, divorced spouse seeks revenge by shooting a judge or attorney or by going postal, is it the judge's fault?  Not all victims are blameworthy, and we would do well to learn this fact regarding divorce.  The victim of abuse is not guilty of causing it.  The abuser is the one gulity.

What happens when you blame the victim of adultery for the breakup of the marriage?  You become an enabler, and you beat up the rape victim.

When you allow the unfaithful and abusive and slanderous to be rewarded for shredding the family, you hurt the children deeply.  Furthermore, you hurt society.  You rip to shreds the security of the children and you threaten and destroy the bonds of every marriage.  When  the faithful are robbed to support the unfaithful, you deprive every citizen of their right to enter into legitimate marriage covenants and force them to enter into a swindle of a marriage that is not as binding as we pretend it to be.

When you support unilateral no-fault divorce, you hurt everyone including those who profit by destroying the families of small children.

It's time for the rest of the nation to take a good long look at New York and appreciate that state for the wisdom the rest of us have failed to impliment.  It is the only state wise enough to refuse to accept unilateral no-fault divorce laws.  Any judge with both integrity and intelligence would have to admit that this law is not only reprehensible, cruel, and inhumane, but also unconstitutional.  And I believe some judges and retired judges have said something very much like this, so I know I'm not alone or naive in this belief.

If we are going to be sincere about the best well-being of the children, we are going to have to overturn this law and restore love and justice and faithfulness as a core value for our nation.  Otherwise, we might as well sell our nation off to hell as we have done so well for the past 40 or so years.
 
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