2010 Shows

(Original Air Date 01/26/10) Is your household in turmoil? Do you feel overwhelmed by your child’s temper tantrums? Dr. Phil reveals the best solutions for common parenting dilemmas, and he has help from educational consultant Dr. Michele Borba. Lizette and Ricky have four children under age 6, and they say their 3-year-old daughter’s behavior is completely out of control. They say she hits, scratches, yells and screams, and her meltdowns are rubbing off on her siblings. Find out what happens when Dr. Borba makes a house call. Then, learn why Lizette says she left home for a month! Plus, Stefani and Shenan are engaged and struggling to blend their families. She has four kids and he has three, but when all seven of them are together, they say it’s utter madness! Dr. Phil and Dr. Borba have advice for keeping the peace.

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: lilroxie on Mar 16, 2015, 12:17PM
I was surprised that neither Dr. Phil nor the expert they sent to their house said anything about that little girl needing some love and affection.  When I watch my grandson who is two and a half he doesn't just want to lay down and take a nap so I dont force it until I see that he is tired and ready to sleep.  At that point i get him a cup of milk and tell him to get some books he would like to read.  He runs over and is excited he gets to pick out what he wants to read and after some consideration he brings his books over and climbs up beside me.  We snuggle up and read and he unwinds and soon he lays down and goes to sleep.  No where in this show did I see this child getting much attention or affection.  Maybe go lay down in her bed with her and read her some stories and make nap time a special time with mom that she will look forward to.  Right now I see a little girl lost in a crowd.  If she got some special mommy time or all the kids sat down to play together she wouldn't be so stressed out all the time.  A little love and affection goes a long way to a child.  Believe me I understand how stressed the mom is, I had a four year old and a set of twin boys and none of them slept well.  My trick for my daughter was to have her lay on my lap and I rubbed her back until she fell asleep.  It made her feel that she got some time to her mom all by herself.
Replied By: lilroxie on Mar 16, 2015, 11:57AM
I think this little girl is reaching out for attention.  I am surprised that I haven't heard that from Dr. Phil or the woman who went to their house.  I know with my grandson he will always resist a nap and I don't force it until I see that he is getting tired and is ready for a nap, after all if you aren't tired you can't force yourself to sleep can you?  I know I can't.  I will tell my grandson to pick out a book he would like to read and I get him a sippy cup of milk and he snuggles up to me and we read his books.  Sure enough he will lay down and go right to sleep.  The more you force it the more they will resist.  I think that these kids need some affection and mommy time, and maybe trinity needs a little alone time with mom, maybe a special day for the two of them.
Replied By: visionsunltd on Jun 23, 2014, 12:12PM
I have a daughter who is now 7.  She had similar issues, but not as bad.  She did act up at school and at times was violent and other times loving to the other end by kissing, hugging, licking, etc.

She was diagnosed with adhd, add, and autism. 

We have worked with the doctors, school and ourselves to help her deal with her situation.

Abilify 5mg and meletonin have been the big difference.  Us as parents and the teachers have turned her around.  She has made a 360 since 5 years old.  She now is managable with us and with her school.

I would highly suggest that children that have these issues get medicated properly and get a good night sleep. 

Contact me if you have any questions about our approach with a child that is challenging because of these issues.

Jeff Tucker

Replied By: cherubs13 on Nov 30, 2010, 12:00AM
I totally understand Lizette's predicament. I am in the same boat with 4 kids in 4 years. I yell all the time and I have my very own Trinity (named Taylah).  I have wanted to run away but feel guilty that my supportive husband would not cope as he's not used to it. 
Take that time for yourself....
My kids are now aged 8-12 and it's hard because my daughter is hitting puberty and hates me so I yell even more.... Oh the guilt!
Please keep in contact as I think we can support each other Lizette.  Not many people understand the life of a mum of 4 kids close in age.
Take care, Tracey
Replied By: cherubs13 on Nov 29, 2010, 11:54PM
I am a mum also with 4 kids but I had mine all within 4 years (no twins) and I can feel for Lizette. I, too, have felt like running away, but never did.  I also understand how she feels guilty when her husband says "go and do something" as I know how hard it is for me so I know it will be harder for him as he is not used to it. 
I feel like I yell all the time and have no escape.  I even write a blog about it for my own release.  No-one tells you how hard it will be to be a parent, but Lizette, I totally understand all the way from Australia....  I am saddened by the harsh relationship I feel I have with my kids and the fact that I don't give them many positives.  My kids are now aged 8 to 12 and although it is physically less demanding, emotionally it is worse as my oldest daughter is hitting puberty and it's ike a roller coaster ride.
So Lizette, hang in there.... it sort of gets better, but also harder.   And take that time for yourself or you will have nothing to give.
I would like to keep in touch with you as I feel we have parallel lives in different countries!
Take care, Tracey in Aus!
Replied By: cadescove99 on Jul 13, 2010, 12:45PM - In reply to nlp4901
Dr Phil says some of the oddest things, at times. Without considering their impact. He has always been a huge advocate of family meetings. As any long-time viewer can attest. But, what impression does calling family meetings "corny" have on someone who's tuning in for the first time? Maybe one Dr phil didn't intend.
Replied By: emmajemma on Jun 30, 2010, 3:56PM
Dr. Phil, I came away from that show very bothered about that little 3 yr. old baby girl.  Then I realized I don't once remember hearing anything about "telling her you love her", or seeing any affectionate interactions between the parents and the little girl.  That broke my heart.
How dare that mom walk away when she laid down to have them all, one right after the other.  Another case of immature adults trying to play house with more than they can handle.  Case in point, more kids screwed up for our society to try to fix.   
Replied By: nlp4901 on Jun 28, 2010, 6:56PM
I have two comments:

1. Dr Phil please don't minimize the value of family meetings by referring to them as "corny" even if you then say "but they're really good." You put the idea of corny into people's heads and they might resist what is one of the most valuable tools for bringing harmony to chaotic families. I think you could do a whole show on family meetings. They teach mutual respect, family perspective, support, responsibility...great family tool!!!

2. Time Outs - I disagree with your expert about time outs. When a child is not in control of their emotions or cannot perform a task that the parent has asked, a time out becomes a punishment rather than a learning opportunity. A Positive Time Out can become a place to get centered again, to gain control of one's emotions. A child of any age - that includes adults - can benefit from a chance to calm down. The environment should be pleasant and not the hallway sitting in a chair holding a timer - that becomes punishment and not a learning opportunity for how to regain composure and/or how to do the task better.  What you want to do is help everyone get their best selves together so they can solve what ever situation is at hand. As for cleaning one's room. I have a feeling that this mom has never really shown her 4 year old HOW to clean a room. A 4 year old looks at a whole room full of toys and won't always know where to even begin. Small steps - put all the blue things in the box, here I'll help you, then the red things or this half of the room or all the books. Small steps. 

More parenting shows - even a once a week thing that people can expect - can be so helpful to parents in need.  
Replied By: ashleybriana on Jun 26, 2010, 5:09PM
Watching this episode, I was watching a mirror image of myself with my 3 year old daughter. I realized how negative I am with her and how I am not in control when she pushes my button. I wanted Lizette to know she is not the only one struggling with a 3 year old girl. Us mothers do not come with an automatic manual when our children are born. If our parents do not show us the best example in parenting, we pass on their bad habits as well.
Replied By: trainer38 on Jun 26, 2010, 1:12PM
Just a thought if people took more control of thier kids,
it may cut down on the chaos. Just saying.
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