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2010 Shows

 
(Original Air Date: 01/28/10) Should mental illness prevent a woman from being a mother? Shelly says she agreed to be a surrogate for Amy and Scott and later gave birth to twins. But weeks after they were born, Shelly and her husband, Paul, made headlines when they asked that the babies be returned. Shelly says Amy withheld important information about her past, including a criminal record and having been diagnosed with a mental disorder. Was Shelly within her rights to demand the return of the infants? Attorney and CBS analyst Lisa Bloom weighs in. Plus, Amy and Scott join the show and say they never misled Shelly. And, audience members sound off about the story. It’s an emotional Dr. Phil you don’t want to miss!

Should a mental illness prevent a woman from becoming a mother? Share your thoughts on Dr. Phil's blog.

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: grumpygramma on Sep 30, 2013, 2:57AM
The amount of people in the U.S. who have or will have or who have had a 'mental disorder' is staggering, and if not having any was a condition for motherhood we would soon be an empty county. I think this woman is woefully ignorant of the facts and I think she wanted a little attention and fame for herself.Maybe just the idea that they were twins gave her a thrill....for some reason she decided to keep them, and then looked for reasons to justify it. If she so interested in the couples backgrounds it only makes sence that she would have done that research before she even got pregnant and agreed to carry the childrenand sign a contract with them. She is a pretty cold hearted person and I believeve she has a few issues of her own.
 
Replied By: stephvg on Feb 27, 2013, 11:14AM
Those people stole the babies. shelly pretended that her reason for keeping the babies was cos of the mental illness. thats BS! cos she also admits that even if the real parents seek help with the professionals & they say the real mothers fit to be a mom to the twins, she still wont give them back. If the mental illness was REALLY her concern, then she would've been okay to return them. Clearly, she just wants the twins to herself & that mental illness of the real mother was just an excuse. Dr Phils last suggestion that she DECLINED to seek help with them "the professionals" made it very clear that shes really just being selfish & bottomline is... its not just about the MENTAL ILLNESS, its REALLY ABOUT HER BEING ATTACHED TO THE BABIES. Meaning she broke her agreement with the Biological parents & her job as a surrogate mother & thats why SHE STOLE THEM. Thats why no matter how they all try to talk to her including DR PHIL, she remains NEGATIVE about everyone who opposes her. THEY MUST TAKE THOSE BABIES AWAY FROM HER COS THEY ARENT HERS. 

 
Replied By: glinda89 on Feb 16, 2011, 3:31PM
My friends are considering a surrogate, and things like this just scare me to death.  I do NOT think it is alright for a surrogate mother to ask for a return of the child unless the child is in danger.  Even then, I do not think a surrogate mother should have any rights to the child.  If we allow this to happen, then any surrogate mother can cry wolf anytime they want to.  It's a slippy slop.
 
Replied By: whitewidow on Dec 31, 2010, 10:13AM
It's obvious this surrogate mom is uncapable to be a surrogate mom. And I would say..........NEVER EVER make a deal with this criminal couple that steals kids they were having for someone else. It's just CRIMINAL to do that............what ever reason she's giving it's all CRAP. And i DONT believe she didnt had a second agenda..............this couple is just SICK for doing this to someone else)
She judge others (yeah thats real Christian to do so............ NOT) for their mistakes but in the mean time she cant even give a good example herself .....she cant even take care of her own body and all the time on stage she was being a crying baby so why should she be a fit mom while the other couple stayed strong and had lots of good arguments..........she didnt had ONE good argument, she was only thinking about HERSELF (how selfish is that???)..............they should be puninshed for being such criminals.................and those kids should go back to the people who they were ment for..............they deserve them...........criminals like this surrogate couple should go to hell!
 
Replied By: kanook on Dec 23, 2010, 6:42PM
I would much rather have Shelley as a mom. 

She has kind eyes and obviously cares about the children.  I think many people get too caught up in the "signed agreement" and forget about the reality that these children deserve a beautiful Mom who cares for them and loves them.  And who better to do that than the women who spent 9months growing them making sure they were born healthy, who went through labour to birth them and who has a physical connection with them.  If you have never been pregnant, you cannot possibly understand and that is where I KNOW that Dr Phil is totally out of line.  I'm sorry but you just don't get it.  How could a mother- and Shelley is their mother- leave her babies in the hands of someone who could potentially harm these children and is obviously unable to offer them a stable upbringing.

I respect that people with mental illness should be allowed to care for children.  I have many ill friends who sucessfully bring up children, but I also have family with severe mental illness who are completely incapable of rearing a child safely, and should never be left to care for them. Growing up with sever mental illness is irreversably damaging to the child's mental health and can endanger their lives.

Dr Phil's  opinion throughout this show is archaic and completely out of touch with the intuitions and strength of a mother's knowledge.  Perhaps he needs to look beyond patriarchal male logic and accept that maybe this mother knows best.  Not everything is so conservatively clear cut.

Shelley, even from the other side of the world I can see you are right.
You did the right thing. I absolutely support your decision.

K

 
Replied By: natharl on Dec 1, 2010, 7:26AM
I have just seen the Dr Phil surrogate mother show today, and I am so appalled, angered and distressed that I had to sign up and write. Firstly I would like to congratulate Dr Phil on his patience for dealing with these people for a whole hour. I would not have been that calm.

Shelley was the most smug, sanctimonious and judgmental woman I had ever seen, and if they mentioned one more time that she was I christian I was going to scream. It was so hypocritical.  Anyone who can maliciously and vindictively steal someone else's babies with absolutely intent should be jailed. Surely the DNA would show Amy and Scott as the parents and thus they should have automatic rights to the children. If surrogacy is illegal than they should go by DNA, if neither Shelley nor her husband have any DNA related to these children they should be forced by law to give them back.

I myself believe in karma and I think that Shelley and her husband will have a very difficult time explaining why the children are not with their natural biological parents who both want them when they are old enough to find out, and it is out there now so the children will find out.

I am so sorry for those poor innocent babies are being bought up by parents who are so self-centred.that they can not see past their own wants to what is right. It's all just so sad!
 
Replied By: faybian1 on Nov 30, 2010, 7:35PM - In reply to zanlilac
I also saw it today and I believe that neither couple is biologically related, but wheeler did breach an agreement with the couple who for all intents and purposes, seem to be fit potential parents. I feel that this actually exposes the weakness with commercial surrogacy and adoption laws
 
Replied By: dan1977 on Nov 30, 2010, 7:05PM
as a mother this is so wrong in many ways. what is going to become of these babies, i feel for the biological parents for trusting this Shelly and having their babies torn from them no mother should endure that, so much for being a christian are they not meant to forgive and give people second chances. Shelly is a disgrace. What if these babies need serious medical attention like organ transplants is she gonna be able to give them any organs, NO. this woman is not thinking about the babies at all otherwise she would take all of that into consideration. u call yourself a christian, ur a disgrace to the christian religion and their followers. rot in hell.
 
Replied By: jayc70 on Nov 30, 2010, 6:54PM
I feel so sorry for all involved in this situation but I ache for the biological parents who must be devastated each and every day. I hope that they are able to move forward and have more children from their frozen embryos. My advice, for what it is worth, is to try to let go, live your life for your new children when they come, write a letter once a year or so to your twins that you can keep for them for when they eventually seek you out as adults. They will, regardless of what they are told by the surrogate family, even if they love them as parents. Eventually they will come to you and you want them to find healthy - physically, mentally, emotionally - parents who have never stopped loving them but who have recognised that to do the best for them you have to let it go so that the family who has usurped control of them is not in constant trauma due to feeling under attack and defensive. They are obviously not going to give them up and it appears that legally you have no rights in Michigan so you have no real choice other than to accept and wait, but don't make your entire life about waiting, that way madness would lie. I wish you all of the very best and I hope that one day you get to be actively involved grandparents to your twins' children, I suspect you will.
 
Replied By: dicibili on Nov 30, 2010, 6:38PM
Imagine how she would feel if the tables were turned. Imagine if someone were to remove her bialogical children because they deemed her an unfit mother.From the information wer were given from the show it seems to me that there was always the intent to keep the babies rather than give them to their REAL parents. If she had taken these babies from their parents from off the street she'd be in prison so why is it different that she essentially took them before they were born. They are genetically linked and belong to the poor couple who, stupidly didn't cover themselves, but trusted this thief. How can the laws protect the perpetrator rather than the victim?
 
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