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2010 Shows

 
(Original Air Date: 01/12/10) If you discovered that your spouse was unfaithful, would you stay in the marriage or end it? This is the dilemma that Matt and Rochelle face. Matt admits that he began an affair two weeks before his wedding, and two years later, he’s still involved with the other woman. Rochelle says she moved out after learning about Matt’s infidelity, but she’s unsure whether to reconcile or to divorce. Can this couple heal their broken union? Then, Anne Bercht, author of My Husband’s Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me, and her husband, Brian, share their tips for moving past an affair.

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: eiblin on Aug 5, 2010, 8:35AM
My husband cheated on me too. That I could understand a litlle bit, because our relationship was sh**. We decided to go to a therapist. But before the first appointment I discovered he saw another woman. Aha! That's why he forgot my birthday! The therapist said that if he wanted to give our relationship a change he had to stop all contact with this other woman. I told him that all contact means no telephone, no sms, no e-mail...... He said he wanted to grow old with me. Yeah, right! Then stop seeing her. He didn't. So I put an end to our relationship. I thought I would be more happy without him. Now I live somewhere else with our two boys and I feel so good! I have more energy and I eat normal again (at one point I almost stopped eating because he didn't stop the affair).

The point I want to make: think about what is best for you! If you tell him to stop the affair and he doesn't, then he is not worth it! And if leaving him is better for you, then it also will be better for the kids. Kids feel everything. They suffer too! When their mum is happy, they also will be happy!
 
Replied By: mswalker on Jul 5, 2010, 6:46PM
Dr. Phil, you asked if I discovered my husband is having an affair would I stay in the marriage.  No, I would not.  I would much rather be unhappy without someone than uphappy with them.  I would not live with someone I could not trust.  I won't waste time and tears wondering what he is doing.  I would have more options in my life if I ended the marriage.
 
Replied By: irmaatkinson on Jul 5, 2010, 8:24AM
Dr. Phil, i have been married for 22 years now and my husband has cheated on me from the first year we got married, I wanted to get an annulment at that tim but I didnt cause I couldnt do that to my parents since they put soo much money into the wedding so I stuck around. Through out the years I have heard that my husband has cheated on me, I confront him and he would deny it but when I look through his cell phone there are numbers of girls and here recently I found a picture of a girl on his phone. Well After 22 yrs. of marriage and two children I am ready to move on and file for divorce. We have talked about the divorce and he has agreed to give it to me with out a fight. When I saw this show I just can not believe that woman stay after their husbands affair. I just feel that once they cheat they always will and that there is no trust and without trust there is nothing. I stayed only because of my kids but now I just cant do it anymore I am miserable and have been for 18 years. My husband was a drinker and sometimes came home and when he did he would cuss me out, throw things and blamed me for everything. My kids are 16 and 14 yrs. old and they love their dad and I dont wanna take that away but I do I tell them I am filing for divorce?
 
Replied By: cadescove99 on Jul 2, 2010, 1:09PM - In reply to julieanna45
Save for a very few posts, this board is filled with misplaced sympathy for her. So, he cheated on her two weeks before they got married, while she was still his fiancee? He had a previous fiancee, on whom he cheated with Rochelle! Maybe Dr Phil's mention of this was so brief that all but the most astute viewers missed it. But, she did break up Matt's engagement. and, what goes around comes around. Those who'll cheat with you will cheat on you.
 
Replied By: mstisa21 on Jul 2, 2010, 5:39AM
My husband had two affairs while we were married.  The first was brief with a co-worker.  He told me the truth about that one.  The second one was with his own sister-in-law.  He denied this one because he knew that I would leave him and the ramification of his relationship with his own brother.  I got over both and really didn't make his mistakes a part of my marriage.  When we mention his affairs in passing, there are no accusations or demeaning in our feelings, it's just a part of a conversation.  Anyway, we went on with our lives and had a happy and secure marriage.  Five years ago, he passed-away and I was glad that we were happy in the end.  His affairs are not my mistakes, their his and his alone.  I cannot control the world but I do have control of my feelings and my actions.  What he did was to inspite himself.  I can only be responsible for my self and hating or being angry uses too much of my energy and time which I choose not to dwell on.  Be understanding, forgiving and finding the beauty in life is more relaxing and fun.  So sad that not more people see that.
 
Replied By: stillbelieve10 on Jul 1, 2010, 11:37PM - In reply to johannadyson82
I too just found out my boyfriend of 10 years is possibly cheating on me.  I don't have proof and we've been down this road before but last time he said he wanted to be with me...and I believed him.  Now I don't know what to do...

The problem with my situation is that we live in two different states and we have a young daughter together. He plans on moving to my city and marrying me soon but for now, the distance has enabled him to lie to me over the phone. He doesn't have to look me in the eye and tell me that he's working when he's on a vacation trip with someone else.  Yes! that's what I just found out.  I had a gut feeling and when I investigated, I found out he was on an airplane back home with someone else. So now I'm in another state trying to figure out how to move from this. 

I totally understand how you feel.  Loving someone after such a horrible thing is not a bad thing.  It's normal especially if he's been good to you in the moments you've been together.  Hatred is never a good thing, at least in my book, so keep working on your person and your life. It's all we have!!!!

Best of luck to you!
 
Replied By: lesliann45 on Jul 1, 2010, 11:23PM
If my spouse cheated on me I would end the marriage quickly.   I wouldn't stay with man that would cheat on me because he is exactly cheating not just on me but also the kids if there are kids with the marriage.  She would be a fool to stay with him.  I was taught that if your husband or wife cheated on you that a cheater is always a cheater.  If they cheated the first time they will cheat over and over again.  I was cheated by my first husband when I was pregnant with my daughter.  I was visiting him where he was living at the time because his job was out of town, I found blonde hair and smelt woman perfume on his bedding.  He gave me this lame excuse that his friends came over to visit and the wife of his friend was tired from work and she laid down on his bed.  I know when he was lying because he wasn't a very good liar.  I saw right through him.  I stayed married to him only a year because he got me pregnant again and he told me to get out and don't come back.  That is my experience with a cheating man.   I think men that cheat on their loving wives that cook, clean, do laundry and take care of the kids and the household, they deserve to be lonely old men.
 
Replied By: hardtohandle on Jun 30, 2010, 7:12PM
I had been  married for 15 years when i learned that my husband had approached my 35 year old daughter for sex, she told me about this not him then he started staying out all night and had women calling my house while we were still married and this is how i found out about his cheating and having affairs and the bad thing is that i do not know how long this had been going on.  I am not a clingy person and i am a trusting and independent person and did not see any of this coming.  So, i since then believe that once a cheater always a cheater because once the husband has crossed the line it just gets easier for them the next time.  I tried going back three times per his request and he ended up going and seeing this women each and every time. 
 
Replied By: julieanna45 on Jun 30, 2010, 2:44PM
Rochelle please leave this man behind and find you a man who will treat you with the love, respect, and dignity that you deserve. You are a beautifully, caring, and generous woman who can be happy with or without a man in her life.
First of all Rochelle, this is not an affair that your husband has had for the past two years, this is a relationship! He has lived the "good life" for the past several years having these two women fighting for his undeserved love and attention. And the thing that I don't get is that he is not even good-looking!
I know that is my own personal opinion and you have your reasons for being attracted to him, but honey just believe me when I say, "You can do a whole lot better." 
The problem is that you have been in this messed up relationship for so long you don't even know what it feels like to have a normal relationship. Just imagine having your man all to yourself and knowing that even if he or you had to be apart for a couple of days that he was missing you and thinking about you the entire time. Imagine laying next to your man in bed or making love and knowing that he is thinking of no other women except for you. This is what a relationship is suppose to feel like. Not worrying constantly where he may be or who he is doing it with.
Please, please Rochelle if you haven't already made the right decision to leave this guy for good, take my advice and run as fast as you can in the opposite direction as this jerk!
I know that in your heart you feel you love him. But the truth is, he doesn't love you Rochelle. Let me ask you this question, "Could you ever do to him what he has done to you?" 
 
Replied By: chabigidy on Jun 30, 2010, 2:23PM - In reply to goofyww
I don't thk that there s anything wrong with her she just invested her time and efforts to someone who she thought was going to make the same investment in her. If someone invest's time and effort into  marrige or relationship and is interruped by an affair wether he's Tom  Hanks or Tom Cruzz it is disturbing hurtful not to mention wrong.  I don't  think it matters what they look like I agree with you about this guy  but our opinions about how he look don't matter I mean unless you were looking to date her then the senario chages abit! I am a girl and she is god looking so it's not ike sh couldnt gt a man but I dont think  she was  prepared  to make such a change. An affair can be startling. 
 
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