I am dismayed to learn of the status of the Dr. Phil family. Wow! What did they learn from first appearance on the show and the resources and information they were given. Nothing. Their individual lives are out of control. Where is the father (Marty) in this family? That's not to say he would be in any shape to offer constructive advice and/or support to his family. Mother, Erin, is herself in need of healing and restoration, her own hurts and frustrations so very near the surface. She has not dealt with them and is operating totally out of them within her family. Terrible. I truly believe that all of these family members are co-dependents feeding off of each other. They need to separate themselves and deal with their own issues professionally. This may take several years, but, not doing so will continue to enmesh their lives in an unhealthy manner. I do not believe Erin is a healthy choice for the care of her grandchildren.

Hi Dr phil my name is Divan van Wyk I life in South Africa I am 24 year's old.
The ather day I watched a show of your's about sexsuelpredetors that target children, and you say that if there was a way to mark these people you'll do it. Well I have a way I inventend something to help children know if a sexsuelpredetor is close to them.
I will really be glad if you or some one can get back to me. My e-mail: vanwyk3@gmail.com
Thank you very much

Divan van Wyk.

I'm new to this.  I've never really turned to the internet for advice but I wanted to get an outsidersopinion, or maybe even advice from somebody who is or has been in my situation.
I've been dating a man for almost 4 years and we are engaged.  We have a one year old daughter together and he also has 2little boys ( ages 3 and 5) from a previous relationship(they were not married.)
The mother of his two little boys, we'll call her "jane", in my opinion uses the kids as a tool against him.  They have no court ordered custody rights, although she does have child support ordered against him, which he happily pays and even goes above and beyond to make sure that there is nothing that they need or go without.  Jane is a young parent, who had her first son at a young age, and is still not out of the "partying" phase and works as a waitress for a well-known resturaunt.
My problem is, that, Jane will call my fiance 4 to 5 times a day, if not more, for all kinds of pety things.  Every phone call does start out with some kind of regard to their children but  it always ventures off onher side to something irrelevant.    I understand and i totally agree with parents maintaining open communication and civil relationships for the sake of their children, but i feel like she is abusing that right.  I feel like in order for me and him to have a stable future together, there has to be some kind of boundaries set.  She calls at any hour, for any reason.  And she slanders him as a father if he doesnt do what she wants him to do or thinks that he should do, for instance, if she wants him to watch the boys and he says he has already made other plans, she degrades him as a person and tells him how much of a bad father he is.  She also calls him for money issues, like being short on her monthly rent or light bill..and can he help her even though he is already paying a very large amount in child support weekly.
I know there is not much that i can do.  I always make sure to not express my aggrevation to her because i dont want to cause any problems or stir up any drama for the kids sake.  I know that my fiance is the one who has to handle this, but he has told her before that she calls to much and tried to set boundaries but her reaction is always"Well i will just delete your number and never call you again."  So he doesnt want to loose contact with his kids because of her childish ways.
She has been very open and sure to be heard that our one year old daughter is not his only child so his life should not just revolve around her, but i feel like, with her calling numerous times a day almost every day of the week for EVERY little thing, that she feels like since she had his kids first and they are boys, that his life should revolve around them and they should come first.  And i believe that no child is better than the other and they all should recieve equal love and attention.  Nothing that my fiance and I do together is private, we are not able to enjoy things completely because he always have to deal with phone calls and confrontation with her telling him what she thinks about everything.  In example, a few weeks ago, we went on a weekend vacation just to get away from everyday stress and even had my parents babysit our daughter, and when we came back and jane found out that we had gone away..my fiance got numerous phone calls and messages telling him how selfish he was and that he should have taken the boys.
I dont know how to deal with this.  How do i decide that her daily phone calls are becoming to much and to often?  How do we deal with it?  She is a grown adult and the mother of his kids, so how do you tell her that she is calling too much and still maintain a civil relationship for the kids sake?  I'm  totally frustrated because i feel like my relationship involves my fiance, me and the mother of his kids.  I knew when i met him that he would have to have a lifetime relationship with her because they have kids togehter but i didnt think that i would wind up feeling like i was sharing him.  Am i being jealous or unreasonable?

Hi guys I am new to Dr.Phils website but not Dr.Phil, and I was hoping that someone on here could help me I am trying to heal from stuff in my past. I was molested when I was ten and my little sister was also molested but I didn't know she was in another room when she was molested but I should have known if I hadnt been thinking of what happened to me I would have been able to protect her I don't know if she blames me but I would understand if she did we are best friends and I feel extremely bad I was just hoping that someone would know what I should say to start a conversation so I can appologize thank you very much for any help that you can give

Lellers

The joy of being alive is more intense when the life is taking you through the spiral tunnel of darkness,disparate,madness,angry ,missing ,chronic pains and to keep going with a lot of flashbacks and to follow the road of acceptance with the name street,Grief, .My journey did start in the night of February,24,2002,when my only son ,Chris,was taking away from the Earth in a second by a young driver ,17 years old ,Rachel ,who was under the influence of COCAINE.She died too in a same second.I was study psychology in a some college with my son,more I had to do a home work from Dr Phill's book .My life was killed in that second when the policeman come to knock in my door and told me that my son was killed and to go to see him in the morgue, ,being after 12AM were close.I did see my beautiful 20 years old son in the funeral home..........would you like to know how I am a survivor after 7 years of building again my life without anti depressing medication,without alcohol,without drugs ? I was a single mother and Chris was my only child,I was doing a lot of sacrifices coming to USA just for my son"s future ,now I can say,my son's future in Haven

Thanks Dr.Phil for helping this little boy I had one very simular. Thank goodness for Vanderbilt Hosp. He is grown and has children of his own. But one thing  that I realized is that many time as parents we need the help also thats what I did with my son, because of my passed disfuntional upbringing I was manifesting behavior problems in my children. So, I went to Dr as well so I could relearn what was the correct way.

Hello, my name is Samantha. I just recently gave birth to my first son, Reed. His "father" has denied him since I found out I was pregnant. He called two of my ex boyfriends and told them that it was possible that they could be the father. He stopped coming around when I was 5 months pregnant. The day before I went into labor, he called my cell wanting to know where I was. He was sitting at my house waiting for me. I told him I was busy and that I wouldn't be home and maybe next time he would call to let me know he was coming over instead of showing up unannounced. The following day, I gave birth to my son, nearly dying on the table. I rushed into the hospital at 9 cm dialated. I passed out in the car on the way there, slapped by my mother to make me come to. By the time I got to the hospital, it was too late for an epideral and there was no time to get in the delivery room. The joke around the hospital was I gave birth in a "closet"!! In the process of pushing, I passed out two more times. My blood pressure went straight through the roof. They had to put me on fluids and some other medication to get my blood pressure down. That also meant an extra day in the hospital for blood work and observation. I was released on Sunday night and Monday night, I decided that I had to call the father to let him know I had the baby...I can't stay pregnant forever!!! When I called to tell him, he was mad at me for not calling him while I was in the hospital. I told him that after nearly dying from childbirth, calling him was the last thing on my mind. He then asked if he and his family could come over to see the baby. I told him that since he chose to deny that he was the father while I was pregnant that I chose not to put his name on the birth certificate and if he wanted to see him, he would have to get a paternity test first. I explained that along with that he would have to pay child support aswell. He rufused to get a paternity test and asked "Why can't I just be the father. What would be the point in a paternity test and child support?" Now, call me crazy, but I would feel more comfortable if he would get a paternity test even though I know he is most definately the father. I feel this way because I dont want later down the road when he figures out that being a father isn't all fun and games, he cant say that the baby isn't his...again! Does anyone agree with me or is he right in not wanting to get a paternity test done?? Looking for any comments I can get!!

A very good friend of mine has told me that her 11 year old daughter still sleeps with her and her husband.  I do not feel that this is healthy for the girl or for the parents.  Am I alone on this?  I know that she is having trouble with her marriage and there are alot of factors involved in that, so I kind of took it that this was a fairly recent thing, then I find that the girl has never slept in her own bed by herself.  It makes me sad and a bit angry that they have let this go on for so long.
What kind of helpful advice can I give her to help with this and not hurt her feelings?

i am in love with a really great guy but im sure he doesnt feel the same way but how do i tell him that its ok we have only been together for about 6 months and sometimes it takes time for people to fall in love and that just because i feel that way now and i know it doesnt mean that he has to he can take his time im here and i always will be even if things dont work out with us.how do i tell him that,and get him to hear me.

I am a mom of 4, 2 boys 2 girls. I have gone through so much over the years, had my 1st child at the age of 17. Life hasn't been easy, but finally me almost 30 I am starting my own business. All of my life has been a struggle, with trying to finish high school with a child, then going through a bad relationship, having 2 more babies & graduating college. I have been struggling through jobs, trying to figure out what I wanted in my life & find the career that was for me. Well I have finally had it & found out my loan is coming through, I am so excited & have made my family proud for once.

I have been following the Dr. Phil family & I see a bit of my self in Alex, she is so young & not seeing what is most important, your children not a man. I am hoping she realizes this before its too late, if not it will be too late & she will regret it later in life.