August 4, 2017
Latest Entry: Battle of Mind Over Matter... or Emotions
I have been struggling with a battle that always been the hardest thing for me to overcome: the Battle of Mind Over Matter... or Emotions is more like it. I wanted to be able to fight for what I need and be happy with having the things that I need. My mind says one thing while everything around me says something else. I just don't understand what is going on. Do I not have enough motivation? Stamina? Self-esteem? Encouragement? Many it's because I have something in my past that needs to come out?


"Regardless of what it is, something needs to happen. I need to be healthy and be happy about it. Every life is hard, but we all have to live. This world is rough, so we have to get tough to live in it."


-Leánan Sídhe

...so maybe it's just me.
June 23, 2017
Latest Entry: So tired, so lost
My mother abandoned me when I was about 10 years old, and my dad was never in my life. Now he's dead, and my entire family is dead, except for my grandmother who's been verbally and mentally abusive for the last 12 of my 23 year life. I have extreme problems with my allergies, so I can't even work. I don't qualify for government help. And my health insurance doesn't make getting the treatment for the allergies I need easier. 




But I NEED to get out of this house. I will not claim to be a perfect angel. I'm not. But I also don't believe anything I could do or say would excuse being called all sorts of names, put down, and lied about to the neighbours. I've suffered from low self-esteem my whole life and depression since my mother abandoned me. My grandmother doesn't want to admit that she's fed into its downward spiral. Every time we have a fight, she starts her abuse, and I explode, she blows it off as being nothing but my mental illness. She has even said that my accusations of verbal abuse aren't true.




In April of 2016 I was put in a mental hospital by the ER because I tried to commit suicide one night after yet another fight. I was away from my grandmother for 9 days and I was the happiest I'd ever felt. Within two weeks of returning, things went back to normal. And ever since my grandmother has been diagnosed with dementia, it's even worse.




I can't take it here anymore, but I have nowhere to go. No way to support myself. I need to get out and soon. I don't know what I'm going to do if I don't.
June 15, 2017
Latest Entry: Evermore I hear you ~ "Live Evelyn Live"
I lost my best friend :( . . . but . . . Do remember to forget worry, anger and regret.


Love while you still have love to give and live while you have life to live . . . oh ya . . . can't forget . . . . BEAUTY IS >> PAIN !!!! :)"



GIA
 
June 14, 2017
Latest Entry: I hate I went to college
I hate I went to College in debt with loans 
Growing up people tell you going to college is the best thing to do in order to make a living and have a family. Wrong I went to college  in 2003 and I received my bachelors degree in Social Work May 2007. The recession hit in 2007 when  I graduated from college and it was extremely difficult for me to find a job. I eventually found a job working at a non profit organization and I got paid very little.  While I was working at the job they wanted   me go back to school to get my masters degree .  As a single adult living on a small  income with other expenses it  was extremely difficult for me to go back to school because I had to cut back on my work hours to complete my internships/classes  and that  put a big financial  strain on me.  My job requires me to drive a great deal with limited travel reimbursement for my mileage they did not match the state standards . I live in a small town and in order to complete my internship, I had to drive over a hour and half  three days a week, that will resulted in three hours of driving time a day which increase in my overall gas expenses.  In addition to that, I have to drive to different conferences and seminars mandatory by my employer. Struggling to pay a mortgage while in school , I was denied a temp loan modification while in school to lower my mortgage and onto of that my mortgage was sold three times and my got increased. No bank would loan me any money or refinance my house because my debt to income ratio of having a house and student loans shot that out the window, along with that dropping my credit school tremendously . Still to this day my decision to go back  to school and purchase and home was the worst decision I ever made in life! I look good on paper because I have 2 degrees and a house but I am extremely poop and credit is back and I'm stuck. 
June 14, 2017
Latest Entry: my neices cryout to her mom whos is on METH!
Adrienne Lynn · 4 hrs · this is just something i threw together just now.

dear methamphetamines,
i've had enough of this torture, this cruel turn you've taken on my life.
not that you took me, you took who i loved the most, who i needed the most and when i needed her the most.
so tell me, is it fun to ruin others lives? and watch kids suffer from their parents turning into strangers?
tell me, are you happy with what you have made my life?
are you happy with this hurt and pain you've caused me and my family.
because of you, methamphetamines, my little brother is growing up with no parents.

because of you, im lost with words and the strength to keep trying to get my mommy back.
because of you, my sister is in pain as well as i am, but she wont show it. she's hurting and i know it
but i dont know what i can do.
you ruined everything, and i hate you.
i tell my mommy how i feel, but you have her
captured so to her, im crazy.
i want her back, and you don't deserve her.
you took her job, her car, her beauty, her kids, and most importantly, her happiness.
you took away that beautiful smile my mommy had.
you took away that glow in her eyes and her drive to make her kids happy. you took her pretty long curly hair that i used to love.
you took my mommy's life and you took away mine too. without my mommy, im just as lifeless as her.
my mommy used to be my best friend, remember methamphetamines?
then you came along and now im stuck with this stranger that its hard to call mom anymore.
you changed her. you changed her looks, her personality, her style, you took everything.
you took away everything that made my mommy happy, you took away her which was one thing that made me very happy.
so thanks methamphetamines... thank you so much for destroying my mommys life and mine. i just have a couple of questions..

when can she come back? when can she go back to her job and get her life back. when can she get her all of her kids back and maybe even my daddy.
maybe if it wasnt for you, my family would still be together and maybe, just maybe, i would still be a happy kid. but because of you, i know too much, ive seen too much.
i fucking hate you methamphetamines, and i will never touch you.
after what you have done to my life, i hope you feel better. because i know i miss my family, i miss my mommy coming home from work every night and sharing her ben and jerry's ice cream with me.
i miss my mommy, but the woman that stands before me is nothing but a person i barely know.

when i look at her in her eyes, i see her pain, and my heart breaks into tiny pieces. when we are in the car, just me and her, singing fergie and taylor swift, she comes back to me for a second.
but you have her mind captured and i will never ever forgive you, methamphetamines.

June 8, 2017
Latest Entry: Parental Alienation Syndrome
My Ex has had sex with 40 plus different men that she has told me about!! Now one of those men live with her and my two boy 14 & 15 and my baby girl who is 5. In a small 3 bedroom apartment.

Her parents are very wealth her mother is one of the top Love and Logic teachers in the United States and then are very religious Mormons. Every time I have went to court (hearings) her attorneys are able to somehow  I don't know what I should call it I guess win. Right now because I ask my boys about the man living with them she has cut me off from talk with all my children both my boys and Little girl, Please advice
June 6, 2017
Latest Entry: Watching one of the shows of OWN 4 a.m. june 6 arkansas and it is ridiculous
So there are two daughters that are gaining up on their mom what really gets me about the whole thing is why aren't they on their own? So, one of them has a chilld from what can be heard on the show and she looks to be over 18 and she is complaining? REALLY? The other one looks as if she is of age to move somewhere. The mom maybe isn't presenting hersellf to be prefect but hey Daughters! go get a job and a place to live and leave your mom alone!  Whine Whine whine ..... oh boo hoo  They need to get a life oh really dr. phil they need to grow up and go on and take care of them selves and leave that woman alone. nah they are selfish kids and yah she may have hit htem who knows but they need to get up and move their asses and move out.... oh geesh would say another word you are blaming her the mother? And they are still there living off her probably she is feeding them, supporting them and they are old enough to get out on their own. This segemennt just  pissed me off cause I am sure they played or had a much part of what the problem was and is.
June 5, 2017
Latest Entry: June 5, 2017 show
I registered on this site just say this about the show today....




PLEASE GET THE DAUGHTER- IN-LAW SOME HELP ALSO....


SHE NEED SOME EMOTIONAL SUPPORT, I BELIEVE HER REAL PROBLEM IS NOT UNDERSTAND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.... HER FATHER -IN_LAW SAID, THEY HAVE ENOUGH LOVE FOR THE BOTH OF THEM... I BELIEVE HIM,  THE PARENTS NEVER DEFENDED THEMSELVES AGAINST WHAT THEIR DAUGHTER SAID ABOUT THEM (IT PROBABLY WASN'T TRUE) .. THEY JUST WANT TO LOVE AND SUPPORT HER UNCONDITIONAL, UNTIL SHE LEARNS TO LOVE HERSELF..


BOTH WOMEN NEED/WANT  ATTENTION DUE TO SOME DEEP HURT ... 


THE HUSBAND AND HIS PARENTS TRULY LOVE THEM BOTH, THAT'S A TRUE BLESSING. 


I  WILL BE PRAYING FOR THIS FAMILY









June 2, 2017
Latest Entry: Feeling so tired of life
wondering why god has put me on this earth to only suffer pain from so many from birth to not now continue to suffer with chronic pain I feel as if I'm here to be a punching bag for my family and other people
May 25, 2017
Latest Entry: Need help
I have written over a dozen times, please help me and my son.
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