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November 28, 2014
Latest Entry: Journey of finding true love!
I used to think that I knew what true love. I had this ideal, fairy tale dreams of meeting the man of my dreams and him sweeping me off my feet. i started this journey at 15 . . . and its been a rough road. From a broken marriage where I was constantly belittled and made to feel worthless to a long, drawn out bitter divorce that threw my life in a tail spin. I didn't know which way was up and which way was down. I almost drowned, several times..... I was angry at myself, God, and everyone else around me. I met this wonderful man who brought sunshine back into my life. Helped me see joy where I once saw nothing but endless sorrow. It didn't take long for me to fall head over heals. I ended up getting pregnant after a few months. . . i was so happpy, . . . but my world revolved around him.. I forgot what it was like to be myself and I put every effort into raising HIS kids and taking care of HIM and my unborn child that Jessica slowly faded and I became "dannys girlfriend" or "his fiance". There was no Jessica anymore. Then my world came crashing down, yet again. The man whom I had built my life on, and loved more than words, betrayed my trust. Left me for the one person he promised I didn't have to worry about. I didn't think I could survive . . . . But then I looked down into my sons hazel eyes. . . felt him grab me by the hand as if to say "It's ok Mommy. I'm here." This little boy has saved my life in so many ways. . . that first few weeks was rough. . . i didn't have the energy to move, to eat, to sleep. . . but I knew life had to go on. I had a baby that needed me to be strong. That needed me to get up and get a job in order to take care of his needs. So i did. I put on a brave face and fought for happiness everyday. I have realized what true love is. It's about finding happiness within yourself.. . . and being strong because you have a little person that is depending on you to do so. Everyday is a struggle for happiness but everyday is better and better. This little boy has really shown me what true love is and I couldn't be more grateful!
November 28, 2014
Latest Entry: Is anorexia taken too lightly?
I'm a college student and last week we were discussing diets as part of our course, and anorexia was brought up. I'd like to highlight that I share a classroom with all females, and they all got very annoyed at the mention of anorexia because they said "anorexia isn't a diet, its just someone who's skinny." Has anorexia become such a common word that people truly believe being thin instantly makes you 'anorexic.' Has 'anorexic' become the new word for skinny? To study this, I went around college and did a survey. I asked over 200 hundred students from the age of 17-28 what 'anorexia' meant. 98% said it just meant someone who was skinny, that it was just another word for being skinny. Only 2% said it was a serious eating disorder. 


What's your opinion? Has a highly serious eating disorder become nothing more than a common phrase and how would you describe 'anorexia.'

Thank you. 
November 28, 2014
Latest Entry: Elderly father scammed by addicted 26-year-old?
Hi,


My widower father has been in a "relationship" with a 26-year-old addict for approximately a year and a half.  He has bailed her out of jail, taken her to her dealers, had her live in the house periodically, etc.  Our family and friends have tried to talk to him, advise him, comfort him, all to no avail.  I fear he will lose what money and assets he has, and then be left on  my doorstep devastated.  Anyone out there encounter this and have any good advice?


Thanks.
November 27, 2014
Latest Entry: When did life get so complicated
I don't even feel I should be writing as I have been blessed with a very good life.  yet I find myself always at this same point a state of confusion and frustration trying to get my footing. I am not looking for replies but feel free to do so as you wish this is more so I can stop thinking about all these and just get it out there.


I am 20 years old and should be happy that i have the things i do, i am in university yet i am so just unmotivated. The problem is i was pushed into school when i wanted to take a year off and then for the first time in my life i started failing at school. The one thing that solidly formed my identity. I was always the smart one in the family (as all my siblings are older). I don't resent the fact that I am paying my own way, but i just feel like i am so lost. I went from wanting to be a doctor to wanting now to become a teacher. I have met wonderful people along the way and yet i can't help but feel they made a mistake letting me in. I try to work hard and till get these low marks. I am tired of feeling like the dumbest kid there when I try hard. So that leads to every year around this time me feeling unmotivated and doing what I did today skipping class to go see a movie. WHy bother when my grades are still low regardless of what I do.


I complain but i will never quit as it would devestate everyone! I can't tell my parents anything cause once i told my mom how hard it was and she started crying at my frustration blaming herself for pushing me. My dads face i will never forget when i told him i failed a class, it was such a look of disappointment.  That when i realized my family can't handle my stress. But I will try and persevere. Keep my head down and nose in the books and hope I can improve.

School keeps me really busy. Taking five classes a semester is a heavy load, but i am realizing how lonely it is. i have two amazing best friends but I feel I am missing out on love. I am not a party girl and don't do the whole bar scene. My first kiss wasn't until i was 18! Is that sad? I feel like I am so behind on the whole love scene. how am i my age and didn't start dating till after high school. and even then there has been two short ter guys. I am so behind with dating knowledge I don't even know where to look for guys! I tried the online thing but i don't have time to go on everynight to keep a guy interested, and it seems alot of guys want a hook up and thats 100% not me!


And last but not least what it all comes down to is making choices. Work harder or give up? find the silver lining or wallow in self pity? put yourself out there or keep yourself locked away because its safe and comfortable? i know its cliche but i miss when the only tough desicion was what kind of milk you wanted for lunch haha. But this is life we grow, we learn, we laugh, we cry (from laughing so hard.. .) WE make a network of people to keep us grounded and sane so we don't give up and quit but persevere in all that we do. But how do we ever know which descision if the right one, and move on from the mistakes we have made? I don't know but I hope to one day figure it out :)
November 26, 2014
Latest Entry: Going through the motions
This is my first blog. Not really sure what to post, so I'll just go with feelings I've lived with my whole life.  I am a "successful" professional who lives alone and I suppose people would consider me a survivor. I don't feel like I've survived. I live alone, have no children and typically form relationships with people who live 2 hours outside my town. I feel the need for privacy...like I have to hide most of my personal life, always afraid people will find out who I really am. Unfortunately , my intellect is adequate enough to understand and analyze how limited I've allowed my life to be.  I have tried talking to councillors and psychologists, but I found none of them could reach me. I either didn't trust them , or didn't have faith in their genuine interest in helping me. I guess that's a start.
November 26, 2014
Latest Entry: Help for me.
Hello, I'm new to this site I watch Dr Phil everyday and I just love him!!!! I'm on here today because I'm really at the end of my rope I really need help with drug use and alcohol.
November 25, 2014
Latest Entry: Entry Title

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Natural Health is the best! (Robert Custer 25 year veteran in the Natural Health field)
November 25, 2014
Latest Entry: HELP ME SAVE MY 9 YEAR OLD GRANDSON
CURRENTLY THERE ARE 104 REGISTERED SEX OFFENDERS LIVING IN BARABOO, WI. THE NATIONAL AVERAGE IS 14 PER 10,000 PEOPLE, IN BARABOO IT IS 90.75 PER 10,000 PEOPLE. THAT IS DISTURBING AND THE POLICE DEPARTMENT JUST TURNS A BLIND EYE TO .


PLEASE HELP ME SAVE MY GRANDSON, AND HOPEFULLY MY DAUGHTER. I AM SO EXTREMELY SCARED FOR HIM AND I NEED HELP DESPERATELY TO SAVE HIM. THERE IS A 2 TIME REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER LIVING IN THE HOME AND I THINK THAT EVEN THE POLICE DEPARTMENT PROTECTS THESE GUYS IN BARABOO WI.

I will attempt to explain briefly what is happening and has happened. My grandson (Marcus) turned 9 in October 2014. For most of his life, Marcus has been living with me with my daughter, and when not with me I have been their main source of financial support and care for Marcus.

Until April of 2012 my daughter and my grandson lived in Oregon and lastly Washington State. In early 2011 my daughter met  a woman on-line via a sexual virtual site with IMVU. Over the course of the year my daughter and the woman became extremely involved, to the point of having their phones on 24 hours a day so they could stay in constant contact.

In January 2012 my daughter informed me that she and Marcus were going to move to Wisconsin to be with this woman and her 3 children. She said they were in love and couldn't live without each other. Of course my reaction was "you have never even met this person". I told her I would not allow her to remove Marcus from the state until she went and met this person face to face, made sure it's a safe environment for Marcus and for her. In February of 2012 my daughter flew back to Madison Wisconsin and spent a weekend with Kaci. (the woman)
My daughter (Julie) came back home and said that she was going to move when she received her tax refund in March 2012.

Understand at this point I was still thinking that this situation would fizzle out. Our family members and Julie's close friends said that they were very concerned for Julie, she had isolated herself from everyone over this women for the past 10 months. I witnessed this myself for 7 months. I had been promoted to a position which required me to move from Lincoln City Oregon to Centralia Washington. I had given Julie the down-payment and deposits required for her to purchase a home in Vancouver Washington for her and Marcus in June of 2011. Centralia was 85 miles from Vancouver and Julie asked me to move in with her and Marcus so that I could help out with Marcus and financially. I agreed to do this for a short time. It was a 3 hour commute daily for me to go to work. During this time, when not at work, Julie would isolate herself in her bedroom on the computer with Kaci. Only when I forced her to come out and spend time with her son, would she get off the computer. Even then it was short periods of time, and she had her phone with her connected to Kaci. Of course she would assure me that once they moved to Kaci's it would be different.

During that 7 months, I made arrangements for Marcus's father to come to the home and take care of Marcus, get him to school, etc. when I had to work, which he did with much love.

In March of 2012 Julie continued to tell me they were moving. I asked, and had been asking, all the normal questions like, how does Kaci support her 3 children now? Where does she work, and what was Julie going to do to support Marcus. Julie stated that Kaci was on disability and welfare.
I attempted to get Julie to leave Marcus with me, (about a hundred times) go back to Wisconsin, get a job and a stable way to take care of Marcus. This she refused to do. I did not have the legal right to keep Marcus here. Had I know then what I know now, I would have never let her go, no matter what I had to do.
Fast forward to the real issue. Kaci has managed to isolate Julie and Marcus from family and friends and I have had to search for them through three moves to three different towns in Wisconsin. After 2 years of battling Julie for phone calls to Marcus and attempting to fly back and see them, I finally bought a plane ticket in October 2014 and told her I was coming with or without her blessing. My instincts told me something was very wrong and this was confirmed with my visit. Prior to this my last conversation via phone with Marcus was June, 2014.

As expected I was not allowed to see Marcus and Julie was someone I didn't even know anymore. I had made an appointment with an Attorney to file for Grand-parental rights prior to flying back. I still thought that once I was there, Julie would not keep my grandson from me. I was very wrong.

Again, to condense, I met with my attorney, got the ball rolling in that area. Now I know I was completely correct in my instincts that said Marcus was in danger. I spent the next 6 days investigating anything I could to find out what was going on in their home. What I found on October 31, 2014 is so disturbing I am now fighting for custody of my Grandson.

Since Julie moved back to Wisconsin, first to New Lisbon, then to Lyndon Station, and currently in Baraboo, there has been a convicted Sex Offender living with them. Julie once referred to him as Kaci's subservient, and when I asked "WHAT" she said I would not understand. 

This man is as listed:
Christopher A. Balaban
1993 Felony B First Degree Sexual Assault of a Child  11 year old male
1996 Felony B First Degree Sexual Assault of a Child  6 year old female.

He is required to register for life and that is how I was able to match up the address. I was sick and scared because I knew this man had been left alone with the children on many occasions. And I knew this is why Kaci has kept Julie and Marcus from continuing contact with family and friends.. After speaking with my attorney, he advised me to contact the Wisconsin Sex Offenders office to determine the requirements of this man's release from prison in 2007. They informed me that he was no longer required to report to a parole officer, only to register his addresses for life with the sex offender registry. In Wisconsin, he is not allowed to work or volunteer with children, take pictures of children or be left alone with children. That's it

They suggested I go to the Baraboo Police, which I did and was treated like a interfering mother and grandmother. When I pressed that the situation be check out, I provided them picture proof of this man from a newspaper article showing him, one of Kaci's children, and my grandson at a library in Wisconsin Dells making fire fly catchers, with other children in the back round.  The attitude of the police was , well it's been two years if something was going to happen it probably already has. We don't want to ruin their trick or treating for the night. I insisted that they do something!!! When they said they would check it out, I said when? They said today. They would go over and speak with Julie, Kaci, and Christopher, but if Julie and Kaci state that Chris has never been left alone with the kids there was nothing wrong with that. I asked "are you going to speak with the children" and he said yes and they would let me know.

I received no call from the police and finally on November 1rst at 12:30 pm I called them. I spoke to the officer and he said that he and a detective did go to the home, spoke with Julie, Kaci and Chris and they all assured them that he had never been left alone with the kids. WHAT DID THEY THINK THEY WOULD SAY!!!!!!! I then asked if they spoke with my grandson and he stated that "well it was really hectic, they were getting ready to go out for Halloween." I said then NO you didn't and he said that's correct. I pressed him about the news article I provided them and he said "well we sent an e-mail to the library but probably won't hear back until Monday." He then said "aren't you flying home today anyway?" I was stunned, dumbfounded and extremely angry all at once. I said no not for another day. To this day I have still heard nothing from the police on this issue.


Julie left a home she had just purchased, a full time position as a Nationally Certified Senior Pharmacy Technician, with full benefits for her and Marcus, in a new Jeep Liberty she had just purchased in September of 2011, after I moved in with them, and the safety and support of her's an Marcus's family and friends to nothing back in Wisconsin. She lost her Jeep, and her home. I also found out she had been arrested in July of 2014 for retail theft in excess of $500. She goes to court on November 19th 2014.


I know my grandson is and has been in great danger all this time.
PLEASE HELP ME SAVE MY GRANDSON.

Thank you,

Marsha Cruz
dbcrew1@yahoo.com
November 25, 2014
Latest Entry: Murphey's Law?
   (I'll be finally moving back to a shelter in my home

   town of San Diego after being stranded in WI for the

   last two months, the date'll be Saturday Nov. 8th when I am.)

  

   I have, on this path I've found myself on, found a horribly large number of, not just women, but people of both genders, who are living through their own rendition of my story... I'm not even sure how to word this all, in a way that... I will even be able to receive any measure of assistance. I've been living in an almost constant state of inner upheaval for that past few years... I suppose my question is, which I will afterwards give context to:

   How do I gain access to the individuals for my daughters, who can help me re-open the juvenile cases where my older daughter's "allegations" against her father were found unsubstantiated due to lack of physical evidence? I've given up everything I've had several times to fight for the dignity, safety and honor of my children. How do I get the court system to stop letting me fall invisibly through the cracks?

 

   Before Nov. of '12, I had no clue that David had molested my older daughter Bonny. I had seen her do things that had me very concerned that someone had hurt her that way, but it wasn't until after they were in state custody that I was told by a Detective Barnett, that she said her dad had done sick things to her. She said she was in a tent when he came in, pulled down her pants and was kissing her pee pee. She made an additional "allegation" as well, to the detective of something David had done prior to the year the case was opened.

 

   On Aug. 31st of '12, a CPS case was opened because, the previous night, my children's dad had spanked our, at the time, 2 1/2 year old so hard that he left bruises on her bottom. I called them on him. We were living in his mother's crowded 5 bedroom house, while I was successfully practicing the parenting skills he & I were given to make as our habit. I had to avoid confrontation with everyone in the house, just to be able to stick to what the parenting aid gave us both to practice. Two weeks more & the case would've been closed, but his mom Shirley, seeing that I was proving her wrong, that my involving CPS didn't result in all the children being taken by the state, decided to bait me into an argument in which I called her a hypocrite. She used this as reason to kick me out, knowing I only had a shelter to go to, zero prior work experience, & never had access to the resources to learn to drive. This had meant that I had to sign my babies into state custody, for three reasons: 1) Shirley had consistently fed the workers her diagnosis of me as Bipolar-schizophrenic; 2) with no way that THEY could see, for me to support my children, get them to school & look for work, I was unfit to keep them; and 3) I was told that, with an open CPS case, I couldn't take them with me to the shelter anyway. All this happened on Sept. 15th of '12.

 

   During the course of the next few months, I jumped through all the hoops set for me through the legal system:

            Since I had no previous work experience, I went job hunting while going through a GED class, & started working at KFC only 2 weeks into said class. I passed after only two months of going to it. I was having a hard time finding anyone at the shelter to keep giving me rides to work, so after missing 2 days, they fired me. My first job I had for a total of 2 months. I got kicked out of the shelter the same month I was to start classes, January. My parents & one of my sisters were paying for me to stay in a motel until I received my disbursements. I started General ED courses, preliminary for the physics I wanted to apply to being in the Navy. Anything I could do to prove I deserved to have my babies. passed my classes, found out in the process that my having spent over 6 months in a mental hospital as a teen disqualified me, so I went after CNA & CPR certifications instead. I got those over the summer, & took pre-nursing classes in the fall to keep up with rent. By the time I was approved for trial home visits, I had been allotted 54 hours a week visitation time, none of which were supervised. he was getting 8 hours a week, 2 of which were still supervised. This was because he just couldn't bring himself to follow the parenting skills given, & many of the other things he was to do.

 

    When the girls had come back from one of the "supervised" visits, Bonny told me her dad had touched her pee pee in a gross way while she was in the bathroom. I hotlined it, & because he didn't penetrate her, it was her word against his. The case was closed Aug.19th, he was then taken off supervised status. The two weekends before Halloween, I stupidly let them go to his & his mom's, to be able to visit his grandma. She was in town for a couple of weeks. She was chronically sick & very elderly. When I had gotten them back again, the second Sunday night, Bonny had peed the bed again, & I had just gotten her to where she didn't need pull-ups any more at night. When I had wiped her off with wipees down there she had, in quick combination, jumped, & caught her breath in pain. I asked her if she was okay, & what had happened. She said her daddy hurt her pee pee again. I asked how, & she told me that he woke her up in the night time, he took her to the den that's down-stairs, pulled down his pants & her pajamas, & put his pee pee in her pee pee. I didn't know what to do I was beside myself with what she told me. In retrospect, I should have hotlined it the next day, but I knew their therapist was coming to the house Tuesday & I was going to talk to her about it to ask what I should do. I did hotline while she was there. Because I couldn't get a single friend to agree to take me the next city over, to get her examined, I had to wait till Children's Division approved Detective Barnett to bring us there the following MONDAY, which by that time any evidence there might have been was healed already!... Unsubstantiated of course.

 

    As soon as I took my last test in Dec., I had everything lined up to leave with Bonny and Gwenith to California. I had even budgeted well enough to buy a van for us to travel in. Because of the distance from Missouri, I felt I could keep them safe from him. I left on a Friday the 13th, right before the weather got really bad there. I had made sure I wouldn't be breaking any rules by my taking them & leaving. Because he never married me & neither of us had previously filed for legal custody, I was clear to go. MO Legal Aid told me I had 2 options: 1) I could file in MO, which by her experience, would almost guarantee that I'd be locking us into the state; or 2) I'd have to avoid being served for 3 months, the length of time it'd take to establish residency, then I could file for legal custody. I was served January, 22nd; the papers were dated Dec. 18th, oddly enough, the day we arrived in CA. I called San Diego Legal Aid the following Monday, who took a week to get back to me with --> they aren't licensed to practice outside of CA. I was "advised" to call the Missouri branch, who told me their caseload was too heavy to take on my situation. I spent the next 2 weeks, inwardly freaking out, scrambling to try & find someone who was in MO who was caring enough to help me keep my children safe from this "normal looking" monster. With just THREE days to spare, I found a legal assistant in San Diego who said she'd help me find, fill out & fax the papers for a motion for continuance that would buy me some time. I didn't have the money to travel half way across the country to attend the hearing in that state.

 

   The hearing held on Feb. 22nd was postponed for May 7th. I spent up until the week before the hearing going through Legal Shield's lists of lawyers in MO, none of whom were of any help. The consensus was that I had no chance because I didn't have  $1,500 for a retainer fee plus a way to make monthly payments, the common kicker was that I wasn't in Missouri to show up in person. I had my first & only anxiety attack while driving, after my first day of class (May 5th) 2 days before the hearing. He was legally allowed to come get them on the 7th the following month. I made the last week with my girls as special as I could. I had finally gotten the adoptive parents of their baby brother to set up a play date at a park the Sunday before they were taken away; we took lots of pictures, & had lots of fun. The Saturday they were taken, we had a day at the beach with all my family. In the night we even had hot dogs then s'mores over the bonfire. I drove my babies to the hotel David & his mom were at, gave goodbye hugs and kisses to Gwen and Bonny, then left back to the beach where the family was packing up to leave. I stayed for about 15-20 min. just blankly staring at the fire, & went home.

 

    I talked to the girls almost every day for three weeks when on the 19th, I talked to Gwennie 1st asked the usual questions, if their dad had gotten them toothbrushes yet, "Yes today, but we didn't get to use them yet." I wouldn't have gotten to talk to Bonny if I hadn't stood my ground that she didn't want to talk to me the last time I called. I talked him into letting her hold the phone in the back seat while he drove to Lowes to get things. When he couldn't hear her is when she told me she had something to tell me about her dad. She said he hurt her pee pee again. I didn't know how much time she had where he wasn't listening, so I didn't ask her for details. I just asked her how long ago that happened & she said, "Last night." I know that in the mind of a 6 year old, any night before the present time could be 'last night'. I told her we could talk about whatever she wanted to, but that I needed to tell CPS what she told me so that I could help her and Gwennie to be safe. I hotlined immediately after our conversation, then got a few calls, from different people in Family Services. The next day Michelle Titius, our previous case worker had told me that the following Tuesday there was a hearing scheduled that I should attend. By that time I had my disbursements from the college I was attending. So I had told my dean the situation & she helped me to file incomplete on all my courses so I could use the money to go to the hearing.

   I heard for the first time what Bonny had told the detective & social worker. It was very graphic... VERY graphic. There was no physical evidence again, which meant that it was a while between when it happened & when she told me. Another hearing was set for the same date & time the following week, meanwhile I had to stay in a local shelter. They didn't take into account what happens within the psyche of a young child after a traumatic event, the coping mechanism of it burying the trauma from memory. She said thing that contradicted what she said the week before. Among the things she said the second week, she told the therapist I told her that her dad had molested her. In CA, I had given her the word assigned to the definition she already had. I told her that what her dad did to her is called molest. I waited for over an hour in the waiting area, just to find out there was not going to be a hearing at all because they already came to a decision. The whole case was opened & closed before I could even be assigned a lawyer! They went back into his home. I didn't get to talk to my daughters from the 20th of July, through the 30th of August. David was in control of whether or not he'd answer for me to talk to them. I think he was mad he had been put through the "accusations" all over again. I don't think it was legal for him to do that.

   I had made the stupid mistake of getting involved with a dude who took me to visit his family in WI. We drove in my car back & forth between WI & MO 3 times before he convinced me to move there with him... only for him to decide he wanted some other local chick here. He dumped me the day after we moved all our stuff here, Aug. 8th. I had to find somewhere else to live within the vicinity as soon as humanly possible. I was told on the phone by the NewtonCounty courthouse,  that David was using the unsubstantiation claims that I had coached only Bonny into saying that she was molested. They said because of this, that I was a detriment to my children's emotional well-being. With this, he filed for a motion to suspend and/or terminate my visitations. That went through on Sept. 4th. I had no gas to get back up to MO to even be present, nor any way to get representation in time. I found a Salvation Army in an adjacent city, where I was found by some old drug dealing con man. my life became in jeopardy by him & I had to seek protection in a crisis house in Wisconsin Rapids. I was granted two phone calls a week by the courts, which is usually have to struggle to make him abide to.

    I figured that, since there's nothing I can do to help my babies in any way, the only one I can help at the present time is myself. Even if I lived right next door to them, I still couldn't see my babies. It breaks my heart... I feel like... not having them isn't like just missing a limb, I feel like I'm missing my head. If I were to live in an adjacent town to my daughters & accidentally run into them all at the only Wal-Mart in both areas, I would be broken in to a million tiny pieces! I moved back home to Cali so I can have some stability, emotionally & otherwise, to prepare myself for the only way I can see that my children may be safe: when one of them gains enough courage to speak up against what David is undoubtedly still doing, which may possibly lead to some sort of evidence of Bonny's molestation. I can only hope one of them tell a teacher, cause I am almost certain if either of them tell anyone in his side of the family they'll be berated for  "telling lies again".
November 25, 2014
Latest Entry: Who killed my son?
When my son was 17 a 14 year old girl accused him of having touched her on top of her clothes. When the investigator came to our home, he wrote in his report that the age difference was 4 years; when I corrected him that it's 3 years, he said it didn't matter. Later on I learned that when both are under the age of 18, age difference of 4 or more makes it a crime.  Being a single mother and a foreigner here, and not familiar with the process, I accepted everything the investigator recommended since he pretended to be on our side. He kindly helped my son to write a note explaining his version. It was his word saying he didn't do it, against her word, but being from the Middle East against a well-grounded local family, he was charged with sexual offense and was kept in jail for almost a month (despite the huge reasonable doubt); he was released early for good behavior. That process affected our life. The system was not done with him and for a long time after that he had to pay the girl's counselling fees. Also, he had to file as a sex offender on his birthday every year for the rest of his life. Once his car was stopped due to speeding, and he was taken to jail since they had not removed the arrest warrant from their computer system. I contacted the authorities, and they released him the next day promising to remove the warrant. Well, they did not. He was arrested a couple more times for the same warrant. He was working and going to college trying to have a normal life, but it was painful to register as a sex offender on his birthday every year. The system forgot the reason why, and they saw him as a criminal, a rapist, but he was not.
Last year he was found shot in the heart. Even though the gun was 20 feet away from where they found him, they called it suicide right there, and did not even dust for fingerprints or do a toxicology test (that's what they told me). When I talked with the detective to see why there's no investigation, she told me that my son was a criminal (due to sex offender label). No one knew that it was because a girl who had a crush on him (while he was not interested) reported him as having touched her on top of her clothes; they just looked at him as if he was a rapist. 
Who killed my son?
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