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December 24, 2014
Latest Entry: Stop Creating Entitled Children. It's ridiculous. I call this the entitled generation.
Are we raising a group of children that think they're entitled to $500 smart phones and $150 shoes?   My great granddaughters get the spa treatment at 8 years and 11 years. Every two weeks they get the nail treatment, toes pedicured, and their hair treated at a salon.  They each were given  $150 boots and not as a part of their Christmas present.  My healthcare worker bought her daughter goggles for a ski trip, the child got an attitude because they were not a designer name-brand; she's also angry because she wants a %500 smart phone and nothing less.  My daughter told me that a lady on her job was badgered by her daughter for a $500 smart phone also.  What's going on here. I feel there are lessons to be learned...not just for the children, but for the parents.   None of these parents are professionals and struggle to meet these needs. Mmmm, I have name these children, "the entitled generation."
December 23, 2014
Latest Entry: the cause of separation anxiety?
When i was 14 i started dateing my current boyfriend who was 16 at the time. We were young and we fell fast. 4 months into our realtionship he started working alot and i didnt see him often. I was sad and lonely. This guy had started to give me his time and attention but i was blinded by what he really wanted...oral sex. After i had made the biggest mistake of my life, I kept it a secret for 4 months and tried to brush it off. After the 4 months of that horrible mistake, i finally came clean and told my boyfriend. However before i told him i had went in my parents cabinet and taken 15 pills(i did not know what they were) in hope that after i told him i would drop dead so i would not have to live in guilt of causing him so much pain. (obviously it didnt work). He was devistated, but agreed to work on our relationship with me. From that day is when my problem began, i did not see him as my boyfriend anymore. I worshiped him and saw him as a husban figure a father figure and a brother figure. I tended to his everyneed in thought that i owe him eveything i could physically give him. I spent ever second of everyday catering to him with gifts, food, sweet messages, and money. Eventually he began to take advantage of how well i treated him. I definely remember him saying "i dont always put u first because i know youll never leave." I was hurt because it was true. As this continued i got worse and started to get jealous of this ammount of time he spent with his friends and even his family. I wanted to come first like he did to me. I was hurt and had lost my mind. i came to the point i had caught myself with a knife and carved his initials into my legs, knowing it would scar. If i didnt see him for a few days i would get despressed and anxiety. I could no longer hold a conversation without mentioning him. I just saw this as how much i loved him. I took cliny to a new level, i was obsessed. Eventually after 2 years of being together, he was tired of my obsession with him and tried to break up with me, i threatened to kill myself if he left. He repeated thoes words back to me and that is when i realized i had a problem and i needed help. i didnt have anyone to turn to because i did not have a realtionship with my dad due to him abusing my sister and my mother and i were not open or close. So i took 2 weeks to try and fix this myself. I couldnt. 3 weeks later he broke it off. we separated for 5 months, and in the 5 months i turned to drinking and partying. I would take nitequill everynight so i wouldnt think before i fell asleep. Eventually we talked and got backtogether, when we did it seemed much better. we have now been together for 4 years and have a house together. However, here and there i still get this feeling of panic if i am out with a friend that "i need to be home with him, that is where im suppose to be, i want to leave and care for him". I was wondering if you had any idea why this happens to me and how i could fix it myself.
December 23, 2014
Latest Entry: Free loading or me just being gullible?
So here is a question for you............ Am I living with a free loader? I pay the mortgage, taxes, insurance, internet and cable which pretty much blows a pay cheque. Then I ask for just $500 so I don't have to dig into my line of credit. He does pay a few things, because he wasn't making as much as I was he pays the power, gas and water which is little over $300.

I get the, "well I was planning on paying off my credit card." speech. It would be nice for me to pay my credit card off, I pay more than the minimum sometimes that is all I can afford because I have to buy groceries too.

I am beyond stressed in fact, I have even thought about if a truck would hit me on the way to work things would be paid off and I wouldn't be here but wouldn't have to deal with it. No mortgage, credit cards be paid, kids would get a very good sum of money from my pension and able to be debt free when they graduated from college. Oh the things that ran through my head. I then began to think I have to save for my retirement, easier said than done. Thank God, my work takes my pension off and contributes to it.

Christmas party was horrible. His daughter is 13 years old and only thinks of one person and her Mom doesn't help. She requested no presents but I know it was influenced by her Mother. I did buy her something which was small, she has been ungrateful and rude to me. I never heard a thank you or anything.

I'm tired and pissed off... I get the guilt trip of working and denying OT because he thinks I am trying to get away from him. NO I AM TRYING TO GET AHEAD.

Now its Christmas, I have been saving up all year for a trip or presents so I didn't have to go my credit cards, but I have. I had over $2,500 saved up but that went to pay the property taxes and had another unexpected surprise because he didn't pay a bit in last year in January so it was $197 I wasn't budgeting for. The money was also suppose to go to paying down my credit card bill and line of credit. My OT pay outs was suppose to go to my line of credit but it was there to keep me afloat/

I was so mad, I wanted to cry but was unable to, not till I phoned a friend and just ranted. She let me do that without guilt, and the tears flowed and a lot of swear words was said. It felt good. I told her I feel like a bank, I felt like I was carrying more than my fair share and then some. I told her how I felt about Christmas and how it sucked. In fact I think she probably saved me from me offing myself.

I have been the Sugar Mama before and I thought I had planned it out better, now I see the pattern. He still owes me for stuff and I feel guilty asking over and over. I am not one to harp on things. I just suck it up and do without. I also graduated from University with a certificate, which is suppose to get me a better job. Thing is trying to find somebody who will mentor me, that is the issue and I even offered to work without pay for it. No takers.

I feel like I am in the slump, depression has set in and today I don't know how I will feel. I go to work and put a game face on, not allowing to others to see how I really feel.

In the mean time things are paid, I just feel the monkey on my back getting heavier with each moment. I know that I should go see my counselor but its Christmas time and nobody is there. So for now I will suck it up hopeful I will get out of this funk.

Hopefully some OT will land my way, might still afford a trip even if its just a couple hours down the road, alone without him he seems to poo poo on anything I like to do and rather sit at home and play his computer game.

He says he would do anything for me and hates to see me depressed. So what the hell am I suppose to do other than submit a bill?

December 23, 2014
Latest Entry: A family who shares a great love for each other
Dr.Phil you area regular in our household each day. There are so many sad stories on your show I just wanted to let you know there are a lot of good familes in this world. I am 69 and my husband is 75. We married when I was 14 and he was 20.We will soo be married 55 years. We have two daughters who are in the medical field. They chose this to be able to help others. When our youngest granddaughter was a year old we found out she was born wwith cancer. God has been good to her and she is ten years old and cancer free. Our oldest granddaughter is going to college to make a Dr. She wants to be able to help others also. A year and a half ago my husband through a clot from atrial fib and went to his brain and had a bleed on his brain and of course killed a part of his brain. The Dr. said from the kind of stroke he had he should have been parlayzed on his right side. But God was good and his right side is ok. Through all the good times and bad times over the years our love has grown stronger. I just wanted you to know there is a lot of good families in this world. I am proud of all the good you and your wife do for others. God bless you in all you do to make other lives a lot better.
December 22, 2014
Latest Entry: Alone for Xmas
Hello Dc. Phil

Mmmmmmm where to begin you don't have time.  I was just wondering how you get over Xmas when your two boys are not in your life anymore.  Long story but a person who just use to love Xmas now hates it ... can hardly wait until this season is over. I try to be positive but it's so hard. It reads like a drama ..... sex.... drugs ..alcohol....bad decisions not just me but my sons.  I am trying to get over this hump but wow it's hard.  People have died ... left .... very alone. I think you should do a show on how to make a Xmas bright for those of us who have made mistakes .... maybe not have been the best mother .... made bad choices and just want to feel whole again with family. Yes I am stubborn .... kids are stubborn .... they want me to forget the past yet they want to relive my mistakes I don't understand.

 Well thanks for listening

Karen Kozan

Merry Xmas to you and your family
December 20, 2014
Latest Entry: Too much nepotism?
Dr. Phil, Robin and staff. I've watched your show since its inception. It's recorded, and my partner often joins me despite he has strong opinions about listening to/watching any other shows in this genre. I admire what you do, and I respect you. I am tiring though of the numerous references to family and family endeavours. No doubt you are proud, and you have every right to be. And no doubt, your show has a side-purpose of creating business; it's one of the reasons we all work. However, I feel you are losing your authenticity and credibility with numerous references to BookNook publishing, Robin's businesses, pushing your books, and other business ventures. (Now seeing your grandchildren pictures updates is different, and wonderful.) Can you allow their work to speak for itself, and reduce what I feel is a barrage of McGraw-business references? I'm losing interest, and if I am, I'm guessing many others are too!

December 20, 2014
Latest Entry: Reward For Person Who Was Supplying Bill Cosby With Date Rape Drugs
After the show I wondered who was giving Bill Cosby these drugs.  My idea is for women to start a reward fund to get the person who gave him/her the drugs to come forward.  If no ones comes forward the money would be split between the women for the therapy.
December 19, 2014
Latest Entry: Entry Title
I don't believe none of those women. All these years and everyone kept quiet? This is about more than we will ever know.
December 18, 2014
Latest Entry: Will writing help?
I go through my day to day life, mostly in a fog. Kidding myself that I am normal. I don't know if I am or not. The more I read and look into abuse, the more prevelent I see it is. Is there such a thing as a normal upbringing? Are there perfect families out there? I don't know anymore.. 

You lift the veil on any family, there are skeletons that are there just below the surface. Abuse, neglect, dirty little secrets that shape and mould our personalities and directions of our lives. Some can be so bad you wonder how a person survives. I sometimes wonder how I survived, then I look at my children, who are all grown now. They still live with me though, which I don't mind. I prefer it.  

Thats one thing that does keep me going is the love of my children. There is no other love like it. For those of you that have not had the joy of being a parent yet. Trust me when it happens, its the most pure form of love you'll ever experience. Knowing that feeling, experiencing that love. Makes abuse even more confusing. Why.. do they do it? They claim to love and they twist that love into something horrid. Just to satisfy some sick need within themselves. I don't understand it. 

Sorry I know I am all over the place. This probably won't get read anyhow but I need somewhere to start talking anon, so I can get these thoughts out of my head and down. To let others know you can be a survivor of abuse. You don't have to be a victim. I say that, but then I wonder am I am survivor? or am I still a victim? My story is long .. Starts from a child.. and includes my children. The perpetrator may goto prison but I am left picking up the pieces of the crime for the rest of my life. Trying to rebuild my kids, I don't know where to start when I am damaged myself. How do I find the strength to push them when I can't even push myself. 

My children are lovely. They are nineteen year old twin boys (nearly 20) and my beloved daughter who is nearly 21. I moved to America, to be with someone who promised me the life I had always dreamed of. At first it seemed perfect, the kids took to him and him to them. Being the Father I always wanted for them. You all know where this is going. He abused my daughter for nearly ten years. There is a lot more to this story.. I don't think I am ready to say it all yet. I need to get it all in order in my head. Feel free to comment .. or anything, Thank you for reading. I hope I will post more.. But only time can tell on that one. 
December 17, 2014
Latest Entry: My Fave Quotes
My Fave Quotes
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