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July 22, 2014
Latest Entry: Feeling Hopeless

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The other party is not interested in settling unless, he agrees to completely hand over the rights to his children and give up his business. The have filed to have his parental rights taken away and the judge for that case said out of all her cases that she has seen go through her doors, this one has the least merit for taking away a parents rights. We are willing to move closer to the children in order for him to get more custody but nothing we do is good enough. He is going to jail for contempt, for the months he underpaid. He was still paying on community property, and the childrens health insurance. I dont know what to do, it is heartbreaking seeing one of the people I love most in the world slowly lose hope. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. We are financially and emotionally drained:( Thank you for listening
July 22, 2014
Latest Entry: Micah's his name
This sweet little boy is my second cousin. He came to live with my husband and myself about four years ago. I have a hard time saying what I'm about to say. .. so please bare with me. I think Micah is a very challenging little boy, which doesn't really surprise me. However I'm a horribly challenging mother. I married a man 18 years prior to getting Micah. We had just finished raising His for children. And barely had any time to ourselves when Micah came to live with us. We felted pressured into taking Micah, We were homeless, we really wanted to just spend time with each other, and on top of all this or oldest daughter was diagnosed with FA and needed me to care for her, and would only get worse as time progressed. So yah having Micah come live with us was not a discussion we should have had to make.
The one huge pet peeve I have with Micah is when he is told he has to do something he doesn't want to do, he starts crying, which for some reason seems to set me off. I hate myself for how quickly things changes from having a good time to have a really bad time in 2 seconds flat. When he gets disrespectful in any way I get upset. And he gets his butt spanked. I start out not being mad, but then my anger gets worse as Micah acts like I have beat him half to death. I don't want to get to the point of wanting to spank him so hard that it just makes me feel better. I want to be someone Micah can trust and be able to come to any time he even just wants to talk.
Micah came from an abusive situation, I really just want to be a great mommy to him. It seems like Micah acts like a little pill when he doesn't have my 100% attention. Please help me. I want to get over the resentful attitude that I have towards him. None of this is Micah's fault. Please help.
July 17, 2014
Latest Entry: please help our family save my sister!!!!!!
Dr. Phil, our family is desperately calling out to you. My name is Lindsey Taylor, and my older sister Lauren Taylor who is 26 years old has a major heroin addiction. We are afraid if she does not seek help now, she will end up killing herself. As of right now, we our lost. We have tried everything as a family to try to get her the help she needs. Her addiction has torn apart our family to the extent of my parents divorcing about 3 years ago. 

  When Lauren was 14 years old she was raped. I feel that triggered a lot of her addiction. She went to counseling and therapy for the rape but she never seemed truly satisfied with her life. When Lauren started high school and finally moved on she was doing great. She had two jobs money in the bank doing well for herself. Up until around her senior in high school she started a job at a vet clinic. She then got hooked on pills such as Vicodin and Norcos. She would steal them from the vet clinic. She then met a man that worked there also and dated him for a while. He also was a drug addict. As time went on Lauren moved out and moved in with this boyfriend. She then got arrested for the first time for stealing and only spent a few nights in jail. Her addiction from then on progressed. She started doing heroin because it was cheaper than buying pills. We as a family have put her in over 9 rehabs. Every time she gets out she relapses. She has been through the court system thru a program and still cannot get sober. Lauren has overdosed on heroin two times and almost died. She has stolen from our family numerous times. Lied and cheated her way thru life for the past eight to nine years. She has some serious mental issues as well. She is bi polar and manic depressant. She is a compulsive liar and believes her own lies. We have all as a family seeked help for ourselves in dealing with this addiction. It has not been easy. I am 22 years old and just had my first born son about 4 months ago. My younger sister Lisa, is 17 years old and about to start her senior in high school. We are both scared to death of losing our big sister. We love her to death, and have done everything we can to be supportive. But as of now we are both ashamed to say she is our sister. We are afraid of a phone call telling us our big sister is dead. Over a year ago my sister moved up north with her boyfriend. They recently split up and she down here now. My mom had agreed she can come here to live with us as long as she stays sober. She agreed and swore she would. Until about 3 days into her staying here I found needles and heroin hidden in MY SONS ROOM UNDER IS BED! At this point we all realized she is still using heavily. We then kicked her out. She has been staying in a hotel and as of tonight, she was hit by car and fractured her femur bone. This is all drug related. My sister needs some SERIOUS help. We are all to the point where we don't know what to do. And this has been going on for 8-9 years NON STOP. We has a family just want to see the Lauren we used to know live a happy, healthy drug free life. We fear if we don't do something fast and quick, we will end up burying her. We are so lost as family and so hurt and so destroyed by her actions that we are in fear for her life at this point. We are desperate at this point. Please help our family. We don't want to lose our sister.

  Sincerely, Lindsey Taylor

Contact info: (951)319-0740
July 17, 2014
Latest Entry: Entry Title
I was wondering if you know any organizations that would consider donating a reliable car to a needy family in Mocksville, NC?

I'm 39 yrs old and I take care of my 66 yr old disabled Mother. My seasonal job ended on August 8th 2011. Two weeks later, the engine in my '99 Nissan Altima blew. There isn't a taxi or bus service in my small hometown, so I walk everywhere. I have had two knee surgeries, so all of this walking over the last couple of years has really been hard on my knees, they hurt constantly. I can't ride a bicycle now because of my knees. I have put in job applications everywhere in walking distance, but haven't had any luck. We live on my Mom's disability check from month to month, after all the bills are paid each month, there isn't much left. If it wasn't for food stamps, I don't what we would do right now.

I need a reliable car so I can get a job and provide for my Mom and me. My Mom has doctor appointments that she needs to go to. She can't walk very good so she has missed quite a few of them. My Mom is legally blind and is a breast cancer survivor. I would do anything for my Mom.

I have contacted Wheels to Work and was told they don't have a program that serves Davie County. I contacted The Salvation Army and Goodwill Industries and was told the same thing. I have contacted the local work first program to see if we could get some help, but was told that I don't qualify because I don't have children. I've even posted on Craigslist and contacted some churches, but haven't had any luck.

If you you know of any organization that could possibly help us, please let me know. When I got a job, I would be more than happy to start paying for the car. I would sign a contract stating so. God bless you for taking the time to read this.                                                                                                                                                                                                   
July 17, 2014
Latest Entry: My Personal 'Independence Day'
Today marks two years since I truly had an out of body experience, and will be a date that will forever stand out in the story of my life. With the spirits of my guardian angels, my cousins, to guide me, I floated above myself that Tuesday morning, July 17th, 2012, and did not see myself at all really- at first, anyway. What caught my undivided attention in those desperate, chaotic moments, were my two beautiful children (only aged 3 1/2 and 10 mos), in the midst of a seriously unhealthy dysfunction, emotional turmoil, abuse and subsequent fear...yet nothing mattered more than to make the call that would ultimately 'save' us, even though it I knew that call would be the beginning of the end. My young daughters, who came into my life for a higher reason, I believe, originally served- and certainly still serve- as my sole purpose in getting out right then and there, or else I question if I still would be...but because of their almost divinely-intervened presence, I decided that day we were not meant to take continue on that path, in that life, and I came to fully realize and be grateful for this enlightenment.

It has taken some time to come to learn about myself, domestic abuse and violence and what I've had to do to live a happy, healthier, freer life...though it may have been in hindsight (and has come with more than the fair share of stress, and times where I've had to dig so incredibly deep to find more strength to keep it all moving onward and upward, even when I felt I was absolutely depleted- Excelsior!!), I do not have any regrets. I am wiser, stronger, humbled, hopeful...a survivor.

There are a small, albeit truly beyond special handful of people, who have selflessly contributed to supporting me and my cause unconditionally, but no need to name names, they know exactly who they are. And, this Facebook 'status'  is just the forum in which I may share this important, liberating message... that I am proud to continually and more audibly end the silence I had carried for so long. This you see is empowering in itself, but more so purposes to inspire others, as well as raise awareness of an issue so compound, embedded and intertwined in our society, it is rarely enough spoken about without reservation...So here it is...and this is my own proclaimed, personal 'Independence Day.'


Final note: it's perfectly ok- and a human right- to expect more for yourself and never settle for less than what you deserve, or how you should be treated! End the silence...
July 16, 2014
July 16, 2014
Latest Entry: My Husband is ruining my friendships with my girlfriends!!!!
Why is it when I need to just be with my girlfriends does my husband get upset? 

I feel like I am trapped at home! I quit working about 6 months ago. I have had a pretty rough year. I lost my Dad last November, my uncle in January, my Grandmother in March, and my dog at the beginning of June. But after my Dad died my husband and I both decided it was time I quit my crazy retail schedule. We are now empty nesters and ready to start a new chapter. Why am I so afraid now? Well the money issue has come up and all because I said I was going to visit a girlfriend for a few hours. "not on my time, or my dime are you going!!" I have been helping him with his business and taking care of all household duties and am able to work out everyday. I am very lucky in that way. But, why does he constantly need to know what I am doing? Who I am with? I have never given him any reason to feel like he couldn't trust me, ever! And every time I'm with a girlfriend we are usually at there home or here at my home. We have been very blessed  and are not living poorly, our bills are paid on time , I just don't understand why it is such a big deal!? Am I missing something? He is very controlling and says I am living in a dream world without a care in the world! I am just dumb founded!! 
July 16, 2014
Latest Entry: about "The Reality of Motherhood" episode from 2009
I just watched this episode on OWN; the woman who gave primary custody of her 3 children to her ex is viewed by some as being selfish.  After elleven years of devoted 24/7 parenting and another 7 years of shared custody, I gave my ex primary custody to avoid a costly and potentially harmful court battle.  I moved twostates away to maintain my employment and diligently make support payments in the interest of the kids while enjoying holidays and summers with them visiting me.  When this arrangement first went into play there was a problem with the child support agency in which they were sending the monies that came out of my payroll right back to me.  They had a problem comprehending that I, a woman, was making the payments to the father, a man.  Not the other way around.

There is definitely a double standard when it comes to which parent gets primary in situations when 50/50 shared custody is not an option.  I one parent better than another?  No.  Do kids need the mom more than the dad?  No.  Does the dad have to be the bread winner and therefore it is okay for him to be the one away from the home more often?  No.  Is it selfish of a woman to enjoy time away from the kids and miss them at the same time?  No more than it is selfish for a man to enjoy time away from the kids and not miss them at all.  Do kids need both parents all of the time?  No; if that were true then children would never become orphans, or a child with one parent.  Life is diverse and we face many obstacles that put us at risk of building our own character.  Nothing self-centered about that.
July 15, 2014
Latest Entry: griefing mom
I am not sure if this will be posted but here I go.  I have been a single parent for over 20 years.  My children are all grown - 2 sons 2 daughters.  I so wish that I knew then what I know now - I would have changed so very many of the choices that I made while they were growing up. My youngest daughter (26 mom of 3) has been diagnoised with 2 brain disorders and has gone through 2 major brain surgeries - no relief from the pain that she lives in 24/7.  My oldest daughter(31)/family lives in NC.  We have always had a rough relationship - love her dearly though.  My oldest son (35) has had problems his whole life.  Drug usage at a very young age which turned into criminal actions and jail/prison time.  Also has mental/emotional issues - guess we all do.  Then my youngest son (34).  My "medical" child.  Had problems at birth and medical issues the rest of his life.  That all changed on March 5.  He moved from here to NC to live with my oldest daughter and her family in August 2013.  Needed a fresh start.  Things changed but not for the good.  On March 5, he went for a walk and did not come back.  He committed suicide that day.  My heart is empty....spirit is gone.  I go through days - not even realizing what is going on around me.  My other children are all ripped apart.  We have no one to go one who understands this type of grief.  Is there any help?  I just do not know what to do ...... please!
July 15, 2014
Latest Entry: Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome in a nutshell- What you need to know!
I was diagnosed with a disease that no one knows about nor wants to know. I have to educate doctors on the rare disorder that I have. Mentally, I am struggling because I do not know what's happening to my body and either do the doctors. If a new symptom or ailment pops up, is it related to the disorder or is it something else? It's scary to know that no one cares. Some doctors say that they have a course of treatment  but then realize that my disorder is way to complex to treat. They then turn and walk away  leaving me in disbelief that someone else has turned their back to me. In turn that causes more anxiety that causes more pain. Stress makes the symptoms of this disease worse and my life is nothing of being short of stress these days. I never turned my back to anyone in need of help. I still run into the fire when all most everyone else runs away from it so why am I being left to be my own advocate?

And talk about fire!?!?!? ! My limbs feel like it was set on fire! Wakes me out of a sound sleep. It's a horrible feeling. The Scariest part to living with this disease is the uncertainty. If you stub a toe the CRPS will find it's way. CRPS will spread like wildfire. CRPS will mirror mimicking pain in an uninjured limb. Any delay in treatment will cause the CRPS to spread. Since the Military does not recognize CRPS as a disease, when our troops come home with CRPS, there is a definite delay and any chance for remission goes out the window. The window to recovery is very small so with this blind eye is a sure fire way to allow this disease to get way out of control and much more difficult to treat!  If I knew what this disease would do to me Physically and mentally, I would have braced myself! I lost so much including friends.

I lost my career that I loved. The most simple every day things that we all take with procrastination or otherwise is now cherished dearly. I am in a horrifying catch 22.. If I do not move or guard my injury, pain can spiral out of control. If I move the pain can reach disabling pain. When my children ask me to play with them, I have to say, no. They walk off with their head held low and that breaks my heart into a thousand pieces. What mother wants to see that? Clothes, touch, showers, hugs hurt me. My skin hurts. I grin and bear it!

The daily struggle is so difficult that my husband had to talk me off the ledge a few times. My disorder was dubbed the suicide disease. If so many people can take their own lives due to the severe amount of pain, why doesn't anyone with in the medical community see this disease for what it really is? Would these suicides  not raise a sense of urgency? I never knew true suffering until this disorder came into my life. It has affected my life in such a bad way that everything I once knew how to do has to be done in an entirely brand new way from dressing myself down to washing the dishes. I have to tend to the finances, my husband, my children, and my home. It's so hard because some of my time is spent from my wheel chair.


The worst part living with Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome, I look totally normal on the outside. But what's happening on the inside is nothing short of being in a living nightmare. No one would ever know that I was sick unless I told them so and even then there would be doubt. Unless they know you personally. The daily influx of ignorance shown to me is so unfair. I have been viewed as a junkie. Pharamacists are notorious for behaving like this unless they actually know you! If I am in my wheel chair in public, I get sly remarks that hurt me such as: "It must be nice to sit and shop." Really? I WANT TO WALK! But I could never say that. I used to run circles around the best! How about you, Mrs. Rude?

As for my family, they are my support. My husband is my rock and so are our babies. Without them, I would not be among the living now to share my experience living with this retchid disease! There is not a day that goes by where I wish that I could move into the past and change that fateful night when I was in that accident which was no fault of my own! A man put me in this  private hell of mine and I often fantasize about confronting this man but why would I? He wouldn't care and I would be wasting my time. Apologies mean nothing to me either when there was clear intent on causing harm onto another no matter how small.

The chance for forgiveness is there but my coping skills are poor. I see my husband and children with worry over me that I can't talk about my full body CRPS anymore or how it agressively spread in 14 months despite of aggressive treatment to put this bastard of a disease into reminssion. I wish I could talk to someone who has the same disorder as I do and see how they live and what they are capable of doing because as of right now, since treatments are very limited along with the research to a cure, I will always be desperate looking for answers. There are literally a handful of doctors and nurses who specialize in this field so anyone who lays claim to be an expert are most likely not experts at all.

It seems that we have a group of bandwagon jumpers who want a lot of CASH up front for their version of unregulated, mid evil like forms of treatments such as: Spinal Cord Stimulator, Blocks, Epidurals, Ketamine coma's, and endless medications. It's not fair to anyone who has this disorder to lay claim to have a cure or a relief. It only promotes great anger because CRPS patients are already desperate for answers. CRPS will kill the weak and break the strong minded. If they knew what was about to happen to their body and their mind, they would be seeing a therapist to get the skills needed to do so. In my case, my therapist hurt me.

More stress was the fact that there were people who were resourced to help my family and I in our times of great need and instead these individuals caused  more harm than good. Moreover, this included: Insurance Fraud, bad behavior, and bad business. When I spoke up and rose up against these individuals, I WAS PUNISHED with public libel defamation of character, verbal assults, and being shunned by both certain family mebers and friends. None of them cared about my health, saw that I was sick and used it against me! I was so hurt, I could not believe that cruel and devious people like this even existed!!

I now keep to myself for the most part because I cannot trust someone new. I have a hard time in doing so because of the trust broken by these so called, people of help, people of authority. Doctors or social workers with God like Complexes. If they don't hear what they want to hear, you will not get the help that you need in today's world. In order to  get what you need now, you have to be submissive. I will never be that way. Guess I will be punished for the rest of my life. There is a reason why I got this disease as everything happens for a reason. Since I've always been highly vocal, I should be vocal about the disease that riddles my body! It has ruined my life but I am looking for the light. I have to take matters into my own hands to regulate the severe pain that never ends. I have found a way to beat the pain without taking medicine. Being in the pool helps a lot! It beats out the evasive techniques as well.  I thought that this particular form of treatment would help many CRPS patients but many in the medical field would say otherwise. They want to give the evasive treatments. They want to pass out medicine like candy.

Just know that you are not alone in your fight! KEEP STRONG!!!

That is all for now...

  • P.S There is no reason what so ever for a patient who has CRPS to be on 10 different forms of narcotics. Either they built up a tolerence, want to be high all the time or are looking for a death wish.......... Certain people in the medical community needs to wipe the slate clean for these patients who abuse their medications. Everyone responds differently. Find the medium. It's hard and no one said it would be easy! Doctor's also need to get the addicted patients help to recover! Take accountibility! NO EXCUSES!
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