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February 13, 2016
Latest Entry: Entry Title
I love you Dr. Phil and I believe you have a beautiful family...however, I feel duped sometimes or like I have found myself at an Amway meeting whenever Robin and or your sons try to sell their products on your show. One second you have a guest pouring their heart out, then we go into Robin's new skin care products? Please come back to us Dr. Phil, you have helped countless people and I feel that mixing familial business with your show does not mix well. With all do respect, I watch your show to watch you and to hear your words of wisdom!
February 11, 2016
Latest Entry: CPS steals children from parents for financial gain
I wish all the parents would join forces and eliminate CPS forever.  They destroy families while making millions of dollars through federal funding.  It doesnt matter what CPS does or says because they are above the law.  Its supposed to protect children, not be the ones hurting them.  All of the children who acually do need help are ignored.  These children are not easy to "sell", they would say ADOPT but look at the thousands of cases and you will see the same story over and over.  They have different names or accusations but the story is always the same. The children are taken from the parents and used to make money. PERIOD.  It needs to stop.
February 11, 2016
Latest Entry: An open letter to my mother...
Well my birthday came and went and I never heard from you. I was tempted to send you a message saying "Hey, it's my birthday" since I have gotten those messages from dad every time your birthday passes. How does that make sense? What snapped in your head that makes it so I have to take care of you? What happened to you being my mother, not a person I am responsible to take care of. Granted, if you got sick, I would be by your side in a heart beat. I would bring you soup, food, meds, to the doctor every time you would even make a cough. You know what I don't understand? How you can be my mother, the woman that raised me, for 20 years (Yes, I put that on purpose) and then up and disappear as if I were an utter disgrace to the family. Maybe that is how you see me. A disgrace, a fuck up, a disappointment. Or maybe you did what Richard, yes since you are no longer my active parents I will call you both by your first names, said to do all these years. To make me into a "good" citizen and hope I turn out. You know what, I have walked on eggshells around you to long. I know you will never read this, but I hope you do. I am tired of treating you like you will break down every second because you have never done that for me. I am tired of being tossed around like a ragdoll and then when I get hurt I am given a "be grateful" speech. So, the straw has been broken. I have seen things and heard things I will never be able to take back. I have grown up extremely fast and am no longer going to stand idly by while you treat your own daughter like a terrorist. So, everything I am about to say I have been thinking for years. Things I have wanted to say to you but never got the courage. Finally, I am passed that and will treat you like the adult you are.




I don't think you realize how much you lucked out with me. Yes, I had some rebellious moments, but COME ON. I don't think I know one kid that was perfect. Actually, that is a lie. You have reminded me countless times about how perfect of a child you were. How you ONLY lied when you threw your sandwich down the drain because you didn't want to tell Meema you didn't like it. Guess what? I am very similar to that story. Yes, I did some things I shouldn't of but let me just tell you some things real straight forward right now. Everything I did I did in fear of you. How so? I NEVER wanted to hurt you, but no matter what I was constantly hurt and everything back fired. The house was a well functioning totem pole. Richard took everything out on you, you took everything out on me, and I was left with Addison and my stuffed animals. I took it all in like a sponge. Every word, every letter, every look I absorbed and never let out. You used to get upset that I couldn't communicate with you very well. You know why? I was scared I would explode and say things I would regret. I was scared to hurt you. I was raised with this mindset that I had somehow established that developed around you. YOU were my world, I could never see you cry or I would hurt. You may be calling bullshit now, maybe you recall the time we actually got in a physical altercation. Maybe you recall the time I realized I didn't have to back down from you screaming at me anymore. That was my rebellious phase. Guess what? Did I ever do drugs, drink alcohol, go to parties, etc etc etc? No. Did I keep my grades up even through countless hours of studying (which we both know that is an ineffective way to retain information) yes. My world was focused on you and your health. When you were broken down and depressed, who pulled you out? Me. When I got depressed and broken down who pulled me out, me. So you are telling me, a middle schooler/high schooler who is emotionally unstable is in charge of her own emotions with no help from the outside world? Do you remember when you finally took me to therapy what the therapist said? She said "Shannon, I don't know why you are here". I never got assignments from her except to try to write my feelings. I have gone to a therapist recently and the therapist only wants to talk about my relationship with you, despite not even mentioning you. Why is that? You have THAT much impact on my life. YOU ARE MY MOTHER, MY WORLD, MY LIFE and you leave me out to dry. I feel like a kitten that keeps coming to your doorstep for help and you simply shoo me away every time. How can a person do that?!




When I was depressed you pulled me from my depression ONCE. I will never forget it because you actually researched depression. You told me you could listen to me and help. That is what you wanted all the time, for me to tell you about my relationships, my friends, stuff like that. Then when I would talk to you about those things one of two things happened. 1. You would get WAY to involved and want to take things into your own hands (which was always super irrational) or 2. you would get mad at me for telling you to much. SO many mixed messages there...so many I just didn't want to talk to you anymore. It didn't matter with the cutting though, because you said you wanted to talk to me but then within the week you were claiming I was cutting myself on a discrete location for attention. That makes sense...I hid the cuts from you for TWO WEEKS before you noticed, so obviously you are so far from right. But, you are always right, aren't you? Speaking of always being right, I bet you still hold CPS against me. You know what, CPS was a shitty situation. You want to know how all of that should have gone down? Let me first explain to you WHAT actually happened, in case you forgot.




CPS was called who knows how long before I found out. You SHUT ME COMPLETELY OUT from your world until I was informed by Richard that CPS was called and they were investigating the family. Ok so 1. IF YOU WERE GOING TO LOOSE ME WHY WOULD YOU SHUT ME OUT?! Why wouldn't you spend MORE time with me?! 2. If you didn't have anything to hide, why were you so worried? Was it because of how angry Richard used to get? Were you worried I would tell them about the time he threw a watch so hard at my head that it left a HUGE hole in the wall where my head was? Were you worried I would tell about the time Richard was screaming and drunk and you left me home alone with him while I hid in the laundry bin? Were you worried I would tell them about how angry you would get over small issues and how loud you would scream just so you could see me cry? I was in middle school and had no control over a little boy's mother who lived half way across America. I was in middle school with a heart that trusted anyone. I was devastated to hear you say such horrible things about my friend's mom, someone who we had never met. I was horrified that you would blame, accuse, and belittle a woman who was just trying to protect a child. I tried to defend her, try to make you realize that she was doing something RIGHT but was just misunderstood. That apparently was the worst mistake and you never forgave me for that. What if I was taken away? What if CPS investigated and truly pulled me away. What would you do? Would you still blame me?




So a big thing you are probably thinking is "Well Shannon, you overreacted a lot as a child. This affected our family". True, I did overreact a lot. As a special ed teacher, you should know that a child's behaviors should be worked with, not corrected if it makes up their personality. Did you actually look into why I was overreacting? Could it possibly be because I was so focused on you that I never actually took the time to help myself? Could it possible be because I wanted to have friends, a social life, or to even just hang out with you more since you wouldn't allow me to hang out with the people I called my friends? Could it possibly be I wanted you to teach me how to cook, for you to teach me different things, and spend time with you? You wouldn't know would you, because you never really asked. Instead you took everything from me. Monitored me 24/7 while at school through teachers and banned me for hanging out with the best friends I have ever had because they sat on the floor at a dance recital. You are probably thinking to yourself, "there are worst parents out there, you should be thankful for all the things we provided you. You would never have gotten to Paris, London, New York, etc etc without Richard and what we gave you". True, but did you ever think that I just wanted to be with you? Did you ever think that I don't need trips to Paris, London, etc to just enjoy being with you. Things were hard when we were living alone, but they were some of my favorite memories. Power puff girls, pizza, seventh heaven, Pokemon before work, the play fort you built me out of a fridge box. Yeah, it was hard for you, but for us, those are some of my best memories. 




Now, let's talk about your favorite subject, Steve. This will be short because I basically have little to say about this. You said it was my decision on if I was going to speak to him, because I am adult. I appreciate that, I really do. That doesn't give you a right to shut me out. I figure you are hiding because I know the truth now. I have seen the child support records, the braces check that you never cashed, the blatant lies you told me to brainwash me to hate him. Let me tell you this, I am not the reason you two divorced. Well, maybe I was part of it, but I didn't make you. To take my right away for loving my dad for your selfish reasons is hideous. Aunt Betsy recently had Christmas at her house. Guess who was there, Jim's ex-wife. We all had an AMAZING time and they realize they should punish their children for their thoughts/opinions. You took my dad's abilities to teach me how to fish, drive, shoot, etc and gave them to a man that doesn't even love me. A man who wants me to be a good citizen and that is it. A man who told me if I killed myself, you would win. Who does that?



Also, remember the time in elementary school when you got mad at me and dropped me off in the middle of someone's lot in Keller. Do you remember what made you mad at your elementary level daughter? I don't. I just remember the horrible memory of being told to get out of the car and you driving off. I guess that was foreshadowing to college years. A time when a number was more important than my life. A time when a grade on a paper defined my worth. The time I was finally pushed into a diagnosable form of PTSD and the only comfort I could get was from a paid therapist. A time when the school had to house me in the nurses station because they labeled me a liability and my mental structure began to crumble. A time when you left me. A time I needed more than when I was raped, than when I was cutting, than when I tried to commit suicide, and you were gone. Do you realize I couldn't shower without someone helping me for a month because I would go into a hysterical fit? Did you know I spent almost 2 weeks curled up in a ball in the corner of my room, not moving an inch and constantly crying? Did you know I was kicked out with nowhere to go? Of course you do, because you kicked me out with the only words "You need to have your life planned in two weeks". You didn't offer to come get me, so where could I go? That's right, to my abusive ex-boyfriends home where I was treated like an animal. I was gawked at, stepped on, pushed around, tortured, and tormented. I begged for help, I wanted you, needed you, but all I got was a "She's not ready yet" from Richard. Ready for what? Being my mom? You signed up for that 23 years ago, you can't just decide NOT to be a mom 18 years later. It amazes me that you are so predictable. You can just run and hide from the bad times and show up during the good times. How is it that you can leverage the death of my best and really only friend to get me to talk to you again. How shitty. How fucking shitty. But, I was the bigger woman and tried to repair what was broken. The problem was I didn't glue the pieces back, I just bought a whole new relationship. That's why we crumbled again. Once again you hide in your hole while you ignore me as if I never existed. All I wanted in life was a mom, but apparently you just weren't cut out to have a child. I was a trophy for you, a way to relive your life through me. Let me ask you mom, how is it that a parent can love multiple children, but children can't love multiple parents? All I am saying is if you came crawling  back I would take you back, but as of right now, you are not my mother. You are simply Carolyn. The woman that provided for me when I was raising myself. It hurts to say that, but I will just have to put my efforts into someone else. Even the worst of mothers worry about the well being of their child, but I truly feel like you don't even feel I exist anymore. That breaks my heart for all I wanted was to be the best daughter you could ever ask for, but instead I became your forgotten child. So hats off to you, Carolyn. I wish you have a productive, full, and happy life. You know how to reach me. 




-Your former daughter




(for anyone that read this, I know a lot is left unexplained. Maybe I will do a blog on that later. For now...I just wanted to put this out there. Posting where people can see will make me feel better..rather than harboring the pain...I will say it, for once)
February 11, 2016
Latest Entry: How Uncontested Divorce Can Make Your Separation Stress Free?
Many governments these days offer couples the capability to go through a stress free uncontested divorce. In actual fact, this is the way most of the couples do divorce. It is comparatively simple and inexpensive, and it conserves both parties' dignity and privacy.

Divorce is expensive it doesn't matter how you slice it, but then again if you do wish to get a divorce, an uncontested divorce would let you save yourself time as well as money, and as much distress as possible. This circumstance is challenging enough, and you don't need to make it more problematic to making the split-up itself argumentative unless it's undeniably necessary to do so

Uncontested Divorce Depends On the Seriousness of the Matters If there are predominantly contentious matters in your marriage still to be fixed (such as child custody), then an uncontested divorce might not be the means to go, since of course you will need to validate that your rights and those of your kids are taken care of. Actually, in some jurisdictions, if there are kids involved, an uncontested divorce might not even be a choice for you. On the other hand, if you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse are on fairly good terms and just need not to get married anymore, and if matters such as child custody are by now worked out between both of you, then an uncontested divorce is going to be at ease for everyone. Yes, the course of getting divorced is still agonizing, nonetheless an uncontested divorce makes it as simple a process can be.

Privacy Also Needs To Be Taken Care Of Privacy is also a matter with separation. The disclosures you make to each other don't need to be a subject of public record unless both of you want it to be if the divorce is uncontested. The contract you make will need to be a matter of communal record, but just that. By contrast, disputed divorce is probable to have every single slight nuance of the divorce a substance of public record just because spouses in a major conflict with each other make these things a matter of public record.

Both the Partners Need To Be Ready If you believe that you can't negotiate an uncontested split-up with your partner, that's fine. Possibly you can't. Nevertheless, make sure that your significant other and you are both completely aware of the issues an uncontested divorce can help you avoid. It might very well be that simply faced with the dissimilarities in circumnavigating through a disputed divorce versus an uncontested one will surely convince the significant other who doesn't wish to opt for uncontested divorce to go over with it.

 

Now, it needs to be noted down that you don't have to come to an agreement as to why the separation is happening to make it an uncontested one. You just have to agree on all the terms of the split-up to make an uncontested divorce likely. For that reason, at first blush, it might certainly be true that you think you can't manage an uncontested divorce. On the other hand, after a bit of time has passed by and tempers have cooled, you might think that having an uncontested divorce is finest for you after all. Think about it, dwell on the price and then choose whether or not an uncontested divorce is your finest bet.

Final Words Therefore, if you wish to protect your confidentiality, work out the facts of the divorce amongst you and simply make the concluding agreements a substance of public record, not every minute discussion you two have had. This is easier on your kids, as well.
February 10, 2016
Latest Entry: Dealing with self esteem issues
Hello everyone, 


The purpose of my blogs are to help/ Inspire those who are in need of which ever topic im addressing at that moment in time. Todays topic is "Self Esteem." This is something I'll be touching base with on more than one occasion. Many people in todays society face the saddening issue of low self esteem. Often times issues with ones self esteem can be brought on by being picked on or bullied throughout ones childhood or even ones adult life. Things like, weight, height, facial features, disorders, race/ ethnicity, and many more are popular targets of attack for a bully. It is often times much easier for someone to hurt and act in a cruel manner towards another human being than it is to uplift. With that said if you're in any of these catagories or even any that I've left out here is the best advice I am capaple of giving.


Life is difficult. Through the journey we take we face many trials and tribulations. One of those being the fact that we can't control or dictate someones thoughts or actions. We will all meet people within our lifetime that dislikes us, how we look, what we wear and how we act. You must find it in yourself to push forward. I am a strong believer in God and the plan he has for us. Not everyone may be but even if you arent, we were all made special. We all have a very special purpose on this earth. When you look in that mirror and are'nt comfortable with what you see then ask yourself something, "Is my problem with me? Or is my problem with what someone thinks of me?" Don't beat yourself up over what you cannot change about yourself. You are who you are and you are special. Be comfortable with who you are. What you look like. If you let the way someone feels about you dictate how you feel about yourself then you are giving up the control you have over yourself and giving it to that person. Building confidence and self esteem takes a lot of work. Work that is done over an extended period of time but is worth every second of it. There is no better feeling than being able to wake up happy with who you are and how you feel about yourself. I have personally faced self esteem issues myself and I still battle the every day "I dont like who I am." I have been picked on my entire life for being so skinny and awkwardly tall. I am 6'2 and 140 pounds and while that may not be so drastic compared to others I still recieved the "You look anorexic. Why don't you eat more?" Even things as simple as "How's the weather up there?" Has effected how I feel about myself. I punished myself for being that way. Instead of blocking out what we call "Haters" I turned on the only person that I will always have, me. I asked myself all those questions those bullies and haters asked me. I resented myself for being who God created me to be, what God created me to look like. Until one day a very wise influencal person came to me and said "Is your problem with you? Or is the problem with what those people think of you?" That question sunk in deep. I then started working on taking the control back. When people asked me those questions I took it with stride, laughed along with them, looked at myself in that mirror and thought, "They can make jokes. They can bring hate my way, But in the end I know in my heart that I am who I was made to be. Me."


Realize that YOU have the control and its you that has the power to keep it or give it away. Whenever you are feeling bad about youself; ask yourself, "Is my problem with me? Or is my problem with what others think of me?" You have the power.

Sincerely, Lifegoeson.
February 8, 2016
Latest Entry: I am not a victim, I am a SURVIVOR!
I want to tell you all a story. A story of a little girl, a scared little girl. A little girl that was once me. A little girl that could be any of the little girls you encounter on a daily basis. Please share this story. I am ready to tell my story, in hopes that this can help someone else.

The first time it happened my brother and sister went with my grandma to big star, a local grocery store. My grandpa used to lay me on his chest while he was laying down, and like this for years, I fell asleep. This night was different. As I layed there on his chest, at 6 years old, and he "massaged" my back his hands got lower and lower until they were completely over my butt. He proceeded to lower my pants and grope and touch my private parts. My grandma got home at that time so his quickly pulled up my pants and it ended there, that day. It was the beginning of a nightmare.
At that time, we lived in a trailer on lakeshore drive in Marion, Arkansas. At one end of the trailer was "the kids" rooms and at the other end there was a master bedroom where "he" stayed with my grandma. It had double doors, with glass from top to bottom. You could see someone coming clear across the house. What convenience this gave him. I spent many days and nights behind those doors, trapped in his twisted fantasy. I remember day one being home alone with him for whatever reason I was eating a sandwich in the living room and tried so hard to stay really, really quiet... he was sleeping, I prayed I wouldn't wake him up. I failed at my attempt. He came out of that room and headed straight for me. He forced himself on me groping me, fondling etc... again I was about 7 years old! I panicked and got out the only words that I could manage to get out.... "Im hungry!" To that his response was "Im horney!" and continued to have his way with me for hours until my grandma finally came home. Please keep in mind while you are reading this story that I was around 7 years old at this time, less than 100 pounds, and he was a grown man, over 300 pounds!!!! I was terrified of him!
When I was growing up Larry worked for a Morgue. His job was to drive the hearse, delivering the corpse' to funeral homes etc. It was a graveyard job and he always found a way to drag me away with him, giving him full access to me. I remember one time being sodomized in front of DEAD BODIES in the back office of the morgue, door wide open and the only focal point I can grasp is the two dead men laying feet away from me on the embalming table! Larry tried to physically take my virginity at the age of 9. I guess daily forceful oral sex from a child wasn't satisfying him anymore. He layed me on my grandmas bed, the bed they shared together!!! He lifted my legs back as far as they would go and proceeded to try to penetrate me with his penis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All I could get out was a desperate cry of pain! "owwww!" I yelled. over and over again. This didn't even phase him. He continued with failed attempts until I was literally sore and in pain from this!
This continued until I was 12 years old when my drug addict mom decided to get clean and come back for us. Let me ad, that he also did this to her as a child, and she left HER CHILD with the very man who violated her giving him permission basically to do it to me too!!! When she came back I jumped at the fact to move across country to California and live with her!! I thought "ITS FINALLY OVER!" . Man was I wrong!
When I moved to California my grandparents followed ! We all "started over" and the abuse just seemed to stop. For years I bottled it up, telling nooone what I had been through! I acted out in ways that obviously were not healthy and continued to have broken relationships with family and friends because of this. At the age of 16 I ran away from home and ended up getting pregnant with my oldest son Jacob. I cut off contact with my entire family until one day.... One day I heard that my grandparents were finally divorcing, not because of what he did to us kids (yes kids) but because he had an affair. I lost it, I told her everything in a rage of anger one night on the phone! I told her everything he did to me, everything I have written here, plus more! I thought "he is finally going to pay for what he did and someone will finally be in my corner". My grandma initially was furious out to put him away. She took me to the Santa Ana police department and I spent hours at 16 years old (pregnant) recounting all these horrible things he did to me. I was told that since so much time had passed that they could not do anything as far as arresting him but would investigate my accusations. I received a letter a few months later that my accusations were founded and Larry's name was placed on the Arkansas list of Child Maltreatment. But still, no prosecution. Larry has now moved across country, started over and is still up to his same shit! Only now, its with another family.
I have no contact with most of my family because of all of this. My grandma never followed through with getting justice for me, in fact she befriended this man even after the truth came out! I know its crazy! It was a twist to the knife that had already been stabbed in my back.
I still struggle daily with memories and flashbacks. I take medication for anxiety, depression and PTSD. I'm not normal, probably never will be because of what happened. I struggle to trust, I struggle with patience and staying happy. I struggle finding my joy. But I am a survivor, this I know. I will be okay. I will heal, and this is the first step!

I have a facebook support group called healing hearts and I welcome any survivors of abuse to join and unite with us against this horrible epidemic. Please copy and paste the following link to view the facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1511674979154833/ 
February 5, 2016
Latest Entry: Steve Avery case
This man SHOULD by all means, be granted a new trial with competent representation!!  After watcching your show on this case, I watched the documentary!!  I have been a paralegal in Mississippi for 45 years!  I get that you have been involved in the legal arena prior to your life now!!  I BEG YOU to help get this man a retrial!  There is no doubt in my mind that he is innocent and was framed by the County!!!  Please, Please, Please go back and watch this documentary again!  Searched the home 7 +/- times, no DNA with supposedly a rape and throat slashing found, BUT on the 3rd or 4th search voila, there is the key to her Toyota!!!  WHY after spending 18 yrs in prison for a crime he DID NOT commit, would he take the chance to commit this crime on his on property and then try to dispose body parts in a bonfire IN HIS BACKYARD????  This is a hein crime that cannot go unaddressed!  I don't have that voice, but you do!  I realize Nancy Grace is a friend of yours, but IMHO she is Wrong!  We all make mistakes and misjudgments of character, and this IMHO is one of those times!  The emotions of Michael O'Kelly speaks volumes!!!!  PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE reconsider your stance on this matter and HELP them.  Thank You, Amanda Harvey


,
February 4, 2016
Latest Entry: Dead Beat Dads PAY ATTENTION!
My 14-year-old granddaughter posted this on her facebook page yesterday. I happened across it this morning and my heart breaks for something I can do nothing about!

 (granddaughter's post:)

Disclaimer- I didn't get this off of someone else. I wrote this myself and it came from my heart. It's all true.

As days go by, I think about you and understand you aren't here. I have always wished you were. I feel like there is a void in my life that can't be filled because you're not watching me grow. You're missing so much.

Every game I ever had, I would always catch myself skimming the crowd-only trying to find you. I know you weren't there, but I would still check to ...see incase you were going to surprise me.

Every academic competition, I thought of you. When they would give out awards in front of everyone, I'd always hope you'd be there.

Every talent show I've been in, I would think of you while I perform wishing you could be there to hear me. God blessed me with a gift and I'd give anything for you to hear it.

I wake up everyday and think of you. I think of you in class, in the store, at dances. Everywhere.

I think of you at church a lot. I pray for you a lot. Everytime there is a lesson that relates to you, I try my best to stay strong and not cry.

As days go by, I wait for a phone call, a text- anything. I never really get them. I never have. I wish you'd know how much I miss you.

I really want you to be in my life. Soon, I'll be in highschool. Before we know it, I'll be graduating and going to college. Eventually I'll get married.

Everytime I think of you, I get so upset. You haven't seen me grow, you don't know what goes on in my life. You have no clue.

I'm just scared, that when I go to Heaven, I'll keep looking for you and you won't be there...

I love you dad. I really hope you stopped to read this. I didn't get this from the internet. It was all me.

February 1, 2016
Latest Entry: Why the glove didn't fit

Have you ever tried to put your  "Driving Gloves" on over latex gloves ?  Expensive "driving gloves" are a second skin.  The ladded latex glove makes it  all but impossible to put on because of friction not to mention slight sizing increase.   Especially after the leather has  been soaked then dried (leather would be stiff and shrink ).  Any medical (swelling) issues would just add to an already impossible attempt.
January 28, 2016
Latest Entry: Husband repeatedly lies
I've been married for 6 years, after a 9 month long-distance,  whirlwind romance.  It is the second marriage for each of us.  From the very beginning, my husband has lied to me.   About so many things.   White lies, straight-out in-my-face lies, lies by omission, relationships, finances, past life experiences, expectations, porn use, etc.  We agreed that the cornerstone of our relationship would be truth and respect.  Those were just words to him.    I have lived our marriage with those values.  Except now I am sluething all of the time because I just can't trust him.  I feel bad for spying on him.    He has never once confessed to anything.  Every dishonesty has been discovered by me.  He keeps promising to change.   I just don't believe him anymore.  His actions have left me feeling worthless and ugly.  I am fairly certain he's not had a physical affair - although he did stay out all night when we were on a romantic get-away in another city, and has no recollection of the time he was out.  He does "know" he didn't do anything immoral, because of his "moral fiber."

How do I know if this is the time he is being honest about changing?
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