August 22, 2016
Latest Entry: The show involving Barbara and David Chris, Jr., aired Aug. 2, 2016
I like to tell you about a an experience I had with a Ghana romance scammer about a month ago.    I received a friend request on my Facebook page from a girl who calls herself Kerry Mark which in the picture on her Facebook page looked very nice but I don't know if she looked like the kind of girl that I would be comfortable with.    I received a contact notice on facebook messenger from the girl stating that she would really would love to have chat with me.    I said to myself, "why not".     We started engaging in a conversation and it became interesting.    I started finding out after a while there were some things that did not look so good and it alerted me that something was suspicious, that she did not look like my type of girl.    I don't know what to say next but I think the person started looking suspicious and that is what prompted me to start doing some research on the situation I was in.   That is when I discovered there was this world of romance scams, especially the ones originating out of West Africa.
August 22, 2016
Latest Entry: how to parent...
Today I watched an old Dr. Phill show from 2010 where he said he was trying to get schools to include courses to teach kids how to avoid domestic violence situations (i.e. how to react, how to respond rather than be violent, etc.). 

Since being a parent is the one "job" more kids will have in common than any other job, I often wonder why the school system does not require some type of parenting class.

Can you imagine...if every year a child is in school, they are taught appropriate ways to respond to various

situations?  It may not help immediately, but seems that in the long run we may raise kids to be better parents, thus improving our society as a whole.

Pat E.

August 20, 2016
Latest Entry: How I stopped smoking

Dr Phil and Robin, after the show Thursday, I think it was, you told the story of a man who needed to quit smoking.  His story sounded so much like my own, I thought I would share my story.

My name is Alan Burgess. I am writing this to share my experience with smoking and vaping. I started smoking when I was 16 years old. It was a peer pressure thing. I knew smoking was stupid, but it allowed me to run with "the dangerous crowd". I used to be a state-class swimmer in high school... after one year of smoking, that was forever lost. I also ruined a very promising relationship with a young lady... one chilly night at a football game, she told me she couldn't wear my swimming letter jacket because of the smell of cigarettes. I continued to smoke for the next 39 years. During that time, I was diagnosed with COPD. I was also diagnosed with polycythemia... basically an overabundance of red blood cells in my blood... my body's attempt to stay oxygenated. I also experienced a Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) and, as a result, a pulmonary embolism (PE). I had high blood pressure, and a resting heart rate of 100-110 beats per minute. All of these problems were directly attributable to smoking. During the past several years, I tried many smoking cessation therapies... patches, gums, lozenges, and several different medications... to no avail. I even tried hypnosis for a few months. Nothing seemed to work. To be honest, I didn't want to quit smoking, even though there was new evidence every day that it was killing me.

A little over 2 years ago, I got involved with a local pulmonary research group.. Through them, I found out that my FEV 1 (L) value ( basically my lung function... look it up) was at 26% of what it should be. So on my way home from the center, I stopped in at my local Madvapes, and bought a basic starter kit. One month later, I smoked my last cigarette. October 31st, 2016, will mark 2 years cigarette free. The last spirometry test, taken on 12 August 2016, showed an FEV 1 (L) value of 45%. My blood pressure and heart rate are now the envy of men half my age. And according to the Veterans Administration Hospital, the polycythemia has all but disappeared. And Kayren, I know it's 40 years too late, but I no longer stink of burnt tobacco. I have no doubts that vaping is saving my life.

I currently use a sub-ohm tank with a regulated mod set at 60 watts. I regularly alternate flavors (not possible with cigarettes) with 3 mg of nicotine.

I make no claims of what vaping may do for you... I can only relate what it did for me. Thanks to vaping, I may live long enough to enjoy the disability "retirement" the COPD got me.

If anyone needs proof of my claims, I have hard data to prove them.

Alan Burgess
August 19, 2016
Latest Entry: relationships
Can someone help me please!!!!!   I have had issue in the past with my husband and other woman.  Thought it was taken care of until June.  I went to visit my mom and tried to call my husband and he didn't asnwer the home or cell phone.  He finally called me back and told me he had fallen asleep.    I happened to find a receipt that he went to a museum.    I asked him about it and he told me he went by himself.  Receipt was for two,  Come to find out he has been chatting on line with this woman...   He says that she lives out of state.  She came down and he was a tour guide for her.   I kicked him out of our bed room and he was staying in another room.  This went on for a couple of months.  He was doing things to try and win me back and make our marriage work.  He told me that  he wasn't chatting with her anymore.  Well I just found out that he is still chatting with her while we were trying to get our marriage back.  I confronted him and he doesnt see anything wrong with him chatting with her.  Am I wrong for not wanting my husband to be chatting online with another woman when we are trying to make our marriage work?  he says that they are just friends... He lied about not being home what else is he lying about?
August 18, 2016
Latest Entry: The Alcoholic Mother Episode
Selfish,Selfcentered and Selfabsorbed.....all the classic signs of an alcoholic...I should know I use to be one.  I came from a backgrounf of both parents being alcoholic and I was a full blown Alcoholic by age 22 yrs.  But by the Grace of God I came into AA at age 30 yrs and have multiple years clean & sober.  Against all odds ..abused by both parents...dumped by both parents at age 18 yrs...both parents never attempted AA or sobreity and  I continue to have no relationship with either to this day.   To the family of this Alcoholic Mother the best advice I can give is very simple ....If she does not gain sobriety from the help of Dr Phil and associates then give yourself the gift of freedom ....MOVE ON ....if she cannot maintain 1 year clean and sober ...then be kind to yourselves for once and give yourselves the gift of living before she completely destroys it ......because she will .......remove toxic people from your life even if it means family's that simple.
August 17, 2016
Latest Entry: Bullying
I was just curious if anyone on here had ever heard of the website "The Dirty"? I unfortunately had a post put on there about myself that was not true and I do not understand how it is legal for this site to be running.

I have 3 children in school, and the last couple years their school has had an anti-bullying policy in place. I think it's great that schools are cracking down on the students bullying, but I don't understand how adults can use the Internet to do it to other adults. I thought it was illegal to defame someone's character? I actually read up on the creator of the site and he stated in an article that the reason he created it is because he was picked on and bullied most of his life. For someone that knows how that feels, why in the world would you come up with a way for people to do that to other people?! 

August 15, 2016
Latest Entry: getting truly annoyed...
hi blog, it's been a while since i wrote in here. i have a mental illness so i get agitated by my surroundings and hong kong is definetely a place where my surroundings are pretty bad. my apt building suddenly out of nowhere decided to torture all the tenants here with all the constant drilling noises and its super annoying to the point that it's driving me crazy. being ill, this kind of noise affects me horribly and mind i say, hong kong drilling is no joke. the workers are very low class and the sound is unbearable. even a normal person will go insane. it got pretty bad and i ended up having a huge argument with the bulding maintenance people about this. it was a very bad argument and i do not like to get so worked up usually about things like these. also hong kong people are notorious for being rude, so it was a recipe for disaster. this episode happened last week and it's now monday but i'm still feeling quite upset over it. i need to calm down for a while, perhaps a trip will do me good but as for now, i'm just trying to cope. i had a busy weekend meeting family and all and i'm super stressed and tired from everything, on top of which today being Monday, worst day of the week thus far. i'm home now and trying to chill from everything, taking my xanax and all that. hope i will survive the rest of the week...
August 12, 2016
Latest Entry: Columbiana county juvenile court
Why will no one listen is every one afraid of juvenile court in columbiana ohio?
August 10, 2016
Latest Entry: The person stalking me for over two decades was finally caught.
It took a stack of police reports over two decades to finally figure out with the help of the FBI just who it was stalking me since around mid November 1989 that had to do with an incident that was witnessed by an FBI agent who is now retired, 911 operator, taxi dispatcher, four owners of the taxi company I drove for a total of only nine days, my passenger and I that had to do with a little girl who ran up to my taxi cab in S Lake Tahoe, CA on a street just east of Ski Run Blvd saying she had been kidnapped. The little girl begged me at first not to contact police but said her parents would be so happy to see her they would just pay me whatever the cost. I told the little girl to stay right where she was as I called my taxi dispatcher over the two way radio who then contacted 911 at the S Lake Tahoe Police Department. The little girl looked just aweful as if she had been abused for some time, wearing only a ragged dress that was much too big for her as I noticed her wrists and ankles had bruises and looked as if she had been tied up or handcuffed for some time. The little girl leaned into my taxi cab so she could hear the two way radio as she turned and looked at me in horror as she overheard the taxi dispatcher say I was ordered by 911 to leave the little girl there and leave the area immediately as the girl then ran back into the cabin while screaming, I noticed a Hispanic woman standing in the doorway of the cabin who I later identified as Nancy Garrido who I warned that I knew where they were and what they both looked like if I ever found out the child were harmed in any way. Nancy Garrido waived at me as if to let me know she understood what I said she then closed the door and curtains, all I could do was to step back into my taxi cab and contact the taxi dispatcher who I asked to call 911 again and once again I was given the same order to leave the girl there and leave the area immediately. My passenger was standing behind my taxi cab as she then ran to towards he apartments as I sped off to the nearest payphone where I called 911 myself and spoke to the only 911 operator on duty at the time who I spoke with for some time as she then finally transferred my call to the officer of the day who gave her the order to give me to leave the child where she was and leave the area immediately. I had met the officer only a few times before who I was even warned by District Attorney Tepper to stay away from for whatever reasons when the mayor and his wife were arrested that I also witnessed first hand as I was placed under guard by an FBI agent at the S Lake Tahoe Police Station because DA Tepper was one of the few who knew I had helped head a federal operation for six months in S Lake Tahoe that was so highly classifed that it was never mentiioned by the media while I worked directly under the White House and President Reagan at the time. I personally however had nothing to do with Operation Deep Snow. As I spoke with the Officer of the Day, he began to seem very suspicious as he warned me that the people in the cabin were close friends and roommates of his at one time while demanding that what I had witnessed was a mother daughter dispute that I very much did not believe. I then contacted the FBI in Sacramento and spoke with FBI Agent Terry Knowles who I spoke with again only a little over a year ago who confirmed he remembered the entire incident as she placed me on hold while he called and spoke with the Officer himself and then told me that all he could do was write down the name of the child in a report and that I should just do as the Officer of the Day told me. Frustrated I called my wife in Denver Colorado who was expecting me to move to Denver to help her and our daughter out of a rather bad situation she was in financially so I decided it was best to leave early the next morning to Denver. I turned in my taxi cab as the owners of the taxi company called a meeting with the dispatcher and family members who were witnesses to the event as well who I turned over the trip sheet to with the name of the child written down on as they stated they would hold onto the trip sheets indefinately just in case it turned out the child was in fact kidnapped. The only money I made the entire nine days was from a tip I received from the actor who I took home the night before who starred in the TV show Cheers George Wegnt who actually lectured me for about two hours in front of the home where he was staying while performing for a event at Caesar's Tahoe at Stateline NV where I again spoke with George only moments before the escape attempt of the little girl who turned out was actually kidnapped. I also caught the same Officer of the Day with Nancy and Phillip Garrido together on another occassion as my medical records also proved. The same officer had been stalking me for over two decades and made several attempts on my life, false arrests where I was found innocent and the charges dropped, he tried to draw me into fights on several occassions and even tried to run me off the road during a bad snow storm while I was driving from Denver Colorado to Toledo Ohio until I was able to lose him finally. I also made many recordings of the person who was stalking me with the help of AT&T Asset Protection that can be subpeonaed to this day as evidence where he admits pretty much everything while threatending to kill me if I ever told the truth to police he states he will have me murdered from prison. I was also attacked just after having major surgery to my lower back and hip that caused my surgery to fail when he discovered I had returned to S Lake Tahoe and was working at Barton Hospital for over two years as a phlebotomist and federally certified medical scecialist with an above average employee reviews where he had me fired for no reasons as I again fled S Lake Tahoe and went into hiding for a year. I wound up in Upper Lake CA where the stalker found me again and poisoned nine of my trees as he interfered with the college I was attending and even tried to interfere with my physicians so I moved my care to the VA Health Care System after I suffered massive pulmonary embolisms that left a tennis ball sized hole in my lung I should not have survived. I also underwent major open heart surgery to replace the main aortic valve with a mechanical valve that was also all caused by years of high blood pressue and from the horrific stress caused me from the stalker who turned out to be friends and roomate for several years of Nancy and Phillip Garrido when he kidnapped the little girl he kept with the Garridos who by the way was not Jaycee Dugard. My VA medical records proved that I caught the stalker with Nancy and Phillip Garrido before Jaycee Dugard was found. The stalker was finally arrested on 44 felonies but was only convicted on 22 of the felonies and is serving five years in prison now since 2012 however with the help of the FBI we were able to identify the same stalker as being the so called Golden State Serial Killer Rapist Kidnapper only a few weeks ago that was proven with fingerprints and DNA. I am now owed a reward for the information however I am now also very severely disabled and am under the care of physicians at the VA after major open heart surgery recently and am barely able to walk or live on my own while nurses come to my home twice a week to help care for me as I am slowly improving physically and emotionally. I also very much miss my own daughter who I had no choice but to alienate myself from that she doesn't understand why for all those years for fear the person stalking me would find out about her but never did as I verfified with another officer form S Lake Tahoe. I can't even express how bad I feel considering who the stalker turned out to be however at the same time he was grandfathered into becoming an offier origially by the mayor of S Lake Tahoe who along with his wife and 17 other officials were each also convicted on dozens of other felonies. District Attorney Tepper warned me that day as I sat under guard at the police station that he was also sorry that Operation Deep Snow had ended when it did because he also suspected there was kidnapping and even murders involved in the horrible corruption that was proven. I was warned that I should leave Tahoe for a while until things cooled down because of the fact I helped head another operation directly under the White House for nearly six months so I moved to Santa Cruz CA until I returned to S Lake Tahoe for those nine days to drive taxi before moving on to Denver to be with my ex-wife and daughter to help them to ve able to return back to California. The stalker made his first attempt on my life by trying to shoot me through my bedroom window as the bullet grazed the hair on my head the that police report also proves.
August 8, 2016
Latest Entry: None.
Some things are the same.  My three cats are with me still, I still live in the same low income apartment that takes nearly 60% of my monthly SSI income.  All my family relations are basically the same.  Except that I will not be babysitting for a while, except for one more time this month. This comes  at a very bad time for me, or perhaps a good one.  a bad time because I need to have somethinig to keep me focused on moving onward. Or perhaps a good time because I am getting ever more and more tired out and it's been at least a month ago that my depression has dipped to an all-time low since Isaac died.  Previously, the stupid damn maintenance lady, who is a really strange character, allowed my failing refrigerator to go on and on and on VERY LOUDLY with a failing fan.  

At first she said she was going to buy a new fan for it, "just in case" but by the end of the conversation, I was under the impression that she was going to just replace it when she came back to fix the toilet. Which she didn't. Which took several weeks by the time I figured out that she still hadn't planned on replacing it "until it stopped working".  In which case, I made a short video clip of it sounding off on my tablet and showed it to the manager.  Who said, "that's loud!"   Soon afterwards the maintenance lady showed back up and replaced the fan.  And then asked me if there was also something wrong with my toilet. Which by that time, she had already fixed. Shortly after that, I began to realize how loud the kids across the hall from me were being, running up and down the halls, screaming and screaching, and worst of all, SLAMMING THOSE ****ING DAMN DOORS!!!   Off and on, all ****ing damn day!!!  

So getting that fire doused also was a PITA even more stressful than putting the damn refrigerator "fire" out.  Which during the process of which, caused me to attempt suicide. A feeble attempt that obviously didn't work, but it did concern me.  Although it also seemed to me to be more of a possible flash back, as afterward it has vaguely seemed familiar to me.  I think I may be able to recall doing that before.  Trying to smother myself.  After that and before the whole ordeal was over I found myself begging, "I have to kill myself, I have to kill myself".
And now looming into the near future is September. At first, September was simply the month of my mother's birthday in 1932 on the 16th.  Which I had to stifle the feelings about because they weren't good ones.  Still aren't. Then came my dad's death in 2000, which landed on the very day I got my first paycheck after nursing school.  As well as, I came to find out, my brother's day of discharge from the Navy.  I don't know what year it was.  Which actually served as a means of connection with my older brother who molested me more than once when he and I were left alone after school when we were teenagers.  But he doesn't remember it therefore it didn't happen.  End of story.  . Not everyone has a good connotation of the term, "Big Brother".

And then came the biggest thing of all, losing Isaac on the 17th, five years after my dad.  That is, the biggest thing of all until Scottie died on the 11th just last year. I haven't even gotten to the one-year mark on that one yet.  I can't see myself making it past September this year.  I don't even want to get that far.  Before any of this started, I had several months prior made a firm decision to kill myself on my birthday.  I recalled chiding and telling (my past friend) Lee when he turned 55, that he was "passing the speed limit".  

Those words have come back to haunt me now that my turn has come around.  Those words morphed into "can't pass the speed limit".  By the time my birthday did come around the power behind the urge fizzled out.  Which was unusual since once I make a firm decision and commitment, I rarely deviate from it.  Which might appear to be a good thing except while my birthday was coming and going, I felt that it was an opportunity I would want to take advantage of because the alternative was going to be far more devastating than cutting myself free sooner than later.  Kind of like when to make the amputation, and how far.  I decided to hang on for the sake of Snowball, Jon, and Larren.  

I figure that Emmit would be good for Larren to have and he would be ok.  But now I wonder if the devastation I would have saved wouldn't have just been mine.  Perhaps Snowball would not get put down as I presumed. Perhaps instead someone would actually take her who could afford to give her the treatment she needs instead of what I fear would happen.  And perhaps now she is needlessly suffering as well as myself.  God, why doesn't he just take me home and stop making me make all these decisions?
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